Author Topic: General humor thread  (Read 71872 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #375 on: March 27, 2011, 02:29:13 PM »

 :-)
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #376 on: April 21, 2011, 04:10:09 PM »

:???:
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Golem

  • Curmudgeon
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 623
  • Reputation: +17/-7
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #378 on: May 01, 2011, 10:12:40 AM »


« Last Edit: May 01, 2011, 10:35:19 AM by Golem »

Offline The Hollywood NeoCon

  • Visionary, Sage, Drunkard, Screenwriter
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1363
  • Reputation: +317/-290
  • "For God & Country: Geronimo, Geronimo, Geronimo"
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #379 on: May 02, 2011, 02:51:10 PM »




You don't say much, you ancient Hebrew monster you, but when you do, it's fookin priceless!!!  :cheersmate:

Offline Golem

  • Curmudgeon
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 623
  • Reputation: +17/-7
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #380 on: May 06, 2011, 12:57:01 PM »

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #381 on: May 07, 2011, 11:03:09 AM »

I've seen this stupid shit, and have one thing to say about it:
 Bitch please
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Online thundley4

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 39433
  • Reputation: +2080/-124
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #382 on: May 07, 2011, 12:46:22 PM »
I've seen this stupid shit, and have one thing to say about it:
 Bitch please

I think it came from one of the late night shows. It was done well before bin Laden went to meet his virgins.

Offline CG6468

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11493
  • Reputation: +540/-210
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #383 on: May 07, 2011, 06:16:46 PM »
I bet he didn't get a warm welcome from those Virginians!!!  :-)
Illinois, south of the gun controllers in Chi town

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #384 on: May 13, 2011, 08:59:27 AM »
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline DefiantSix

  • Starship Captain and all around
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14206
  • Reputation: +1113/-184
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #385 on: May 13, 2011, 06:13:30 PM »


Ah, I see the abridged version has finally come out in paperback.  :-)
"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here." -- Capt. John Parker

Offline rustybayonet

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 429
  • Reputation: +38/-5
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #386 on: May 14, 2011, 06:31:36 AM »
Ah, I see the abridged version has finally come out in paperback.  :-)
:yahoo:     :yahoo:
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery - today is a gift- that's why it's called the "present"

Offline Golem

  • Curmudgeon
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 623
  • Reputation: +17/-7
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #387 on: May 19, 2011, 11:04:51 AM »
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her liberal arts degree and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher.

The foreman said, "I have to ask you this.Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, and I voted for Obama."

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #388 on: May 25, 2011, 06:07:09 PM »

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline Golem

  • Curmudgeon
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 623
  • Reputation: +17/-7
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #389 on: June 03, 2011, 01:04:51 PM »

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #390 on: June 04, 2011, 10:47:43 AM »


They see me rollin'... they hatin'.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Golem

  • Curmudgeon
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 623
  • Reputation: +17/-7
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #391 on: June 04, 2011, 12:00:56 PM »


They see me rollin'... they hatin'.

 :rotf:

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #392 on: June 09, 2011, 08:39:06 PM »
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #393 on: June 13, 2011, 08:19:49 PM »


Mark it on your calendar.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #394 on: June 23, 2011, 10:45:34 PM »


Heh.
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Firechild

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 181
  • Reputation: +31/-20
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #395 on: June 24, 2011, 12:02:00 AM »
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.' The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.' The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.' Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped. The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.'




 I always chuckled and felt uncomfortable when I heard people say Liberalism is a mental disorder, but if it walks like a duck talks like a duck and acts like moron it is a moron.

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #396 on: June 24, 2011, 07:47:54 AM »
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Barrack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.' The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.' The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.' Barrack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped. The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.'




+5

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #397 on: June 24, 2011, 07:53:14 AM »
Barack and Michelle are at the St Louis Cardinals game.
Sitting in the first row with the Secret Service people directly behind them, one of the Secret Service guys leans forward and says something to the president. Barack stares at the guy, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head violently.
The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was a unanimous request, from the owner of the team down to the bat boy. And...........the fans would love it!"
So, Barack shrugs his shoulders and says, "If that's what the people want."
He gets up, grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants, and drops her right over the wall into the field. She gets up kicking, swearing, and screaming -- and the crowd goes wild, cheering, applauding, and high-fiving.
Barack is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the agent and says, "You were right; I would have never believed that!"
Then noticing the agent has gone totally pale, Barack asks what is wrong.
The agent replies, "Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!"
 

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline Big Don

  • Well, there's nothing I won't do; but some things are gonna cost you extra.
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1917
  • Reputation: +151/-64
Change You can deceive in!

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: General humor thread
« Reply #399 on: June 28, 2011, 01:46:44 PM »
 I USED TO BE FRED JOHNSON

A highway patrolman stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted
speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

'Fred,' he replies.

'Fred what?' the officer asks.

'Just Fred,' the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break
and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him
for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer
thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell
me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred
Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through
college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so
I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I
decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so
then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and
she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA
taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as
Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred..'

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.




"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY