campaign thread for the Top DUmmies of 2013

[Tucker]

But his mouse would have starved to death.

Why are you such a meanie?

[franksolich]

Brilliant, just brilliant!

The very best wit shown thus far on this entire thread.

My hat's off to you!

[BattleHymn]

Oh my gosh, Gobucks, I think I'm going to die here.   

This is why I visit the DUmpster. H5.

[USA4ME]

OK, I sat out last year because they were all equally worthless. I'll try again this year even though, except for DB screwing himself over, they were all equally worthless.

.

[Tucker]

OK, I sat out last year because they were all equally worthless. I'll try again this year even though, except for DB screwing himself over, they were all equally worthless.

.

That's the whole point. We're not judging the best of the best. We're judging the worst of the worst.

[GOBUCKS]

I like the way nutcase nadin has completely shut it down.

She's trying to give other DUmpmonkeys a chance for some votes.

She got back from the shithole south of Texas, posted for a few days to let us know she was back, then shut it down.

Never fear, she'll be back with a vengeance on the day after voting concludes.

nadin is all about humility.

As she said, "My middle name is hulimtily."

[franksolich]

I like the way nutcase nadin has completely shut it down.

She's trying to give other DUmpmonkeys a chance for some votes.

She got back from the shithole south of Texas, posted for a few days to let us know she was back, then shut it down.

Never fear, she'll be back with a vengeance on the day after voting concludes.

nadin is all about humility.

As she said, "My middle name is hulimtily."

I also suspect that's the cousin's strategy, and it's up to the voters here to make sure it doesn't work.

[GOBUCKS]

I'm kind of surprised the anti-nadinites are so quiet this year.

I guess they're ashamed of giving the 2012 win to Skippy.

This year should be nadin's third consecutive triumph.

[franksolich]

I'm kind of surprised the anti-nadinites are so quiet this year.

I guess they're ashamed of giving the 2012 win to Skippy.

This year should be nadin's third consecutive triumph.

I dunno.  There was only one vote separating the two primitives who came in second, with the winner.

One single vote would've made a difference; it could've made any of the top three Top DUmmie.

This is why it's so important to vote, and to vote for ten primitives, not less than ten.

[GOBUCKS]

For the group award, the specific, official qualifications were not spelled out.

For me, the only reason for a DUmmy to exist, the only way to justify his consumption of oxygen, is to provide entertainment to normal people.

With that as the only criterion, my vote goes to The Bullies for the group award.

The crazy bald dwarf is a force of nature, a nut whose craziness would exist in a vacuum.

But when her nuttiness meets the catalyst provided by The Bullies the fireworks begin.

Comments from The Bullies are hilarious in their own right, but they also serve a higher purpose.

The potshots taken by The Bullies in every substantial nadin thread goad her into ever more spectacular performances.

Without The Bullies, nadin would still be hilarious but with The Bullies she's incredible.

The Bullies for the group award.

[franksolich]

For the group award, the specific, official qualifications were not spelled out.

For me, the only reason for a DUmmy to exist, the only way to justify his consumption of oxygen, is to provide entertainment to normal people.

With that as the only criterion, my vote goes to The Bullies for the group award.

The crazy bald dwarf is a force of nature, a nut whose craziness would exist in a vacuum.

But when her nuttiness meets the catalyst provided by The Bullies the fireworks begin.

Comments from The Bullies are hilarious in their own right, but they also serve a higher purpose.

The potshots taken by The Bullies in every substantial nadin thread goad her into ever more spectacular performances.

Without The Bullies, nadin would still be hilarious but with The Bullies she's incredible.

The Bullies for the group award.

There are no standards; just the general overall outstandingness of a particular group, formal or informal, of primitives.

The bullies are an excellent choice.

[Tess Anderson]

Omaha Steve does not have nearly the presence he once had here, and Amber is fading down the stretch.

[BattleHymn]

Omaha Steve does not have nearly the presence he once had here, and Amber is fading down the stretch.

I think Steve has been a major disappointment this year.  There was a spark of the 2012 Steve this year, back when he announced his candidacy for city council during the special election.  He sort of faded away again after that.  I have to wonder if his lack of posting isn't partially due to frank's suggestion that he's reigned it in to avoid making waves at the police precinct he is employed at. 

We had a nice bench of primitives to choose from this year for DOTY, and I found choosing the top slot to be difficult.  In the end, I voted Amber for the top spot.  I did it, because it takes a special kind of stupid to do what she did in leaving her a home and a job she had here, to be homeless over 1,000 miles away in a strange town, away from any family.  As a very practical person, it's simply inconceivable for me to think someone could do something like that out of their own free will.

My only concern was that she might be a mole.  The only evidence I could verify was to go back over her posts from when she was in my town staying at the homeless shelter, scanning for anything where I could trip up her storyline.  If "she" is a mole living elsewhere, s/h/it did a damn good job of describing/knowing things that one would really need to visit my locale to know.

[Ralph Wiggum]

A reminder to all interested parties...PLEASE submit your votes ASAP!  I already have processed over 100 votes, and of course, they are all verified by:



You may submit them to me via private message, or at ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com

Thanks, y'all!

[Tucker]

They are all verified by:

Now that IL has joined the rest of the civilized world, ballots are secured by armed personnel.

[franksolich]

Well, with less than two days to go before the polls close, my votes haven't changed.

Top DUmmies
1-nadinbrzezinski
2-DainBramaged
3-Taverner
4-BainsBane
5-NYC_SKP
cbayer--probably won't make it
grasswire
mopinko--probably won't make it
trumad--probably won't make it
William769--probably won't make it

the Willie
Redstone--too close to call, as a good case was made for Pamela too

the Steve
DainBramaged--runaway

the Rob
Atman--probably won't make it.....again

the Nadin
nadinbrzezinski--runaway

group
the moles, real and imagined--too many top-notch candidates to split the vote; probably won't make it

[Tucker]

Maybe we need a nomination, primaries and then general.

[Charles Henrickson]

Here is the ballot I just sent to Mr. Wiggum . . .

Top DUmmies:
1 - DainBramaged
2 - WilliamPitt
3 - nadinbrzezinski
4 - Loc0nuts
5 - Pretzel_Warrior
Fire Walk With Me
cali
kentuck
TheMastersNemesis
Scuba

The Willie:
This is my hardest choice. I think there are four nominees worthy of enshrinement int he DUmmie Hall of Fame:  Andy Stephenson; sfexpat2000/EFerrari; bobbolink; and benburch. Since 2014 and 2015 will mark the tenth anniversary of the scandal that made Beth and Andy famous, I think I will save my votes for those two for the next two years. That narrows it down to Bobo and ben. Tough call. That means the other one I will have to save till 2016. It's almost a coin flip, but I think this year I'll go with . . .
benburch

The Steve:
DainBramaged

The Rob:
SidDithers

The Nadin:
nadinbrzezinski

The Group:
The anti-gun nuts

[Charles Henrickson]

If Doug had taken franksolich's advice. . . .

GOBUCKS, for your very funny Reply #99, I award you a H5.

[franksolich]

Here is the ballot I just sent to Mr. Wiggum . . .

You know, it was really hard the past few years, to dredge up twenty primitives of quality for the Top DUmmies, and many of those really weren't Top DUmmie material, but one had to take what one could get.

I believe this year, the quality and quantity of candidates was so high, that I've never contemplated, agonized, and prayed over my choices so much.

[franksolich]

It's Friday morning; only a day and a half to go, before polls close.

You may submit them to Mr. Wiggum (Ralph Wiggum) via private message, or at ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com

[Skul]

It's Friday morning; only a day and a half to go, before polls close.

You may submit them to Mr. Wiggum (Ralph Wiggum) via private message, or at ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com

I finally got around to it.
Individual awards were oh so easy.
Picking the top ten DUmmies was horrid. So many deserving primitives, I had a hard time deciding.
It's a shame that the pretzel-p***y made such a late run. Poor lad needs to try harder next year.

[BlueStateSaint]

You know, it was really hard the past few years, to dredge up twenty primitives of quality for the Top DUmmies, and many of those really weren't Top DUmmie material, but one had to take what one could get.

I believe this year, the quality and quantity of candidates was so high, that I've never contemplated, agonized, and prayed over my choices so much.

I didn't give 'em a second thought, once I made the picks.

[BattleHymn]

I agree that picking ten was hard this year, especially with weighted votes.  Much more reflection was required to come up with an acceptable ballot than in years past.

[franksolich]

I agree that picking ten was hard this year, especially with weighted votes.  Much more reflection was required to come up with an acceptable ballot than in years past.

Initially a skeptic, I came to like the idea of weighted votes.....but only for the top half of the top ten.

Really, by the time one has to pick a sixth or seventh top DUmmie, it gets hard.

I suggest this voting format be used in the future; weighted votes for one's top five, and then just five more primitives each given equal votes (in this case, half a vote each, because the fifth primitive gets only one vote).

I of course have no idea how the voting's going, but I suspect those half-votes are going to make a difference in some of the spots.....which is why I urge others to vote for ten, not less than ten.

If one's voted for less than ten, one still has until suppertime tomorrow (Saturday) to send an amended ballot to Mr. Wiggum.