nominating thread for the Top DUmmies of 2013 (closed)

[GOBUCKS]

For the Steve Dawes award, how about DUmmy Taverner, Mark Kregel.

His big, vulgar mouth ran afoul of the DUmp lezbo Gestapo, then he got shitcanned after calling Skimmer Luke Skinwalker or something like that.

He's the only DUmmy I can recall ever extolling the virtues of heroin.

[GOBUCKS]

I don't want Doug to run unopposed because he'd see it as an accomplishment.

Doug's a loser who has never accomplished a single thing, including an unopposed Steve Dawes award.

[franksolich]

I don't want Doug to run unopposed because he'd see it as an accomplishment.

Doug's a loser who has never accomplished a single thing, including an unopposed Steve Dawes award.

Well, but it seems to me the Taverner primitive is a worthy nominee for the award given the primitive who's been his own worst enemy, without the help of anybody else.

[franksolich]

I've been paying close attention to the nominees for the Robyn McGrath award, the "Rob," for the primitive who incites the most laughter when the primitive tries to come across as credible and authoritative.

The Rob, which was new last year, went to my cousin nadin while I thought it should've gone to my twin Atman; after all, it was named after him.

And thus far this year we've got as candidates:

Atman
BainsBane
Lady Freedom Returns
nadinbrzezinski
Taverner

I think Atman deserves to win, especially since it seems, as with the sparkling old dude, he's fading from the scene, soon to become of little or no interest in the DUmpster.  He never did in all these years crack the top ten, and deserves at least a measly little token award.

[GOBUCKS]

For the Rob: LocoNuts and Dennis the Menace.

Those two guys have been more fun that a barrel of monkeys.

They're so funny, it makes me hope they hold off on suicide for at least a few more months.

Of course, "credible and authoritative" is just another way to say "nadin".

[fatboy]

I think Atman deserves to win, especially since it seems, as with the sparkling old dude, he's fading from the scene, soon to become of little or no interest in the DUmpster.  He never did in all these years crack the top ten, and deserves at least a measly little token award.

Perhaps in the spirit of "everyone is a winner", a new catagory should be created. Something along the lines of DUmmy Emeritus?

[franksolich]

Perhaps in the spirit of "everyone is a winner", a new catagory should be created. Something along the lines of DUmmy Emeritus?

There's a problem, though.

One person writes all the awards.  The winners are given to him a mere five days before it's time to start posting them.  And those five days happen to be.....just before Christmas.  There's been circa 15-20 awards every year, and of course not all of them get written in those five days.

If one has family, social, or work obligations (I don't; I make it a point to clear the calendar of all such things beforehand), he couldn't do it.  It's a lot of pressure, to churn out so much in so little time.

Some of the awards I've written have been, literally, hot off the press, first-and-only drafts, and finished just seconds before I've posted them.  The closest call was when the die alte Sau won Top DUmmie in 2010; that was scheduled to come out shortly after lunch-time New Year's Eve.

I had to help the neighbor with some cattle in a raging blizzard the morning of December 31, 2010, and it was past 1:00 p.m. when I got back inside.  I'd written not a word about the die alte Sau, thinking I'd get it done that morning.  I was considerably wet and my hands and fingers frozen when I sat down in front of the computer to write the award.

It was wholly first-draft, spur-of-the-moment.  It came out circa 2:00 p.m., on time, if one considers that close enough to the promised "shortly after lunch-time."

<<<likes to be on time.

So right now, we're looking at what has to be written, in the order they'll most likely appear, the week between Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve:

(01) the bottom half of the top twenty primitives (one single award)
(02) the Willie
(03) top primitive #10
(04) the Steve
(05) top primitive #09
(06) the Rob
(07) top primitive #08
(08) the Nadin
(09) top primitive #07
(10) top primitive #06
(11) top primitive #05
(12) the group award
(13) top primitive #04
(14) top primitive #03
(16) top primitive #02
(17) top primitive #01

Seventeen awards in six and a half days.  It's about like this every year, and I try to limit the number of awards given out, so that I may have more time to give the winning primitives my best literary efforts.

[franksolich]

Last night, while reading a certain primitive on Skins's island, what all he's ever said about himself, it suddenly struck me that I've discovered a new species of primitive. 

I'm calling it primitivus malignus, as it's a sort of primitive which poses a real threat to the republic.

I hope to God it's unique, or barring that, at least very extremely rare.  It's not good.

It appears that Skippy, the NYC_SKP primitive, is the real deal, a primitive who actually works to get things done.  (He's been on Skins's island only since 2008; not exactly an old-timer.)

We've always been rather more used to the primitives who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk; blowhards, big mouths, braggarts, hot-air balloons.  And that does describe nearly all the primitives, who are far more interested in telling other people what they should do, rather than doing those things themselves.

Skippy seems to have mastered a trick of doing it on somebody else's dime, though, not his.

[obumazombie]

The task of making this award production work in such a short period looks daunting to me.  I am quite content that I am not the one who has to do it, or even help. Not that I wouldn't, but I'd really rather not, and am happy that I'm not.
But big kudos to Coach and Ralph Wiggum and all concerned who orchestrate.

[Tucker]

Skippy is hard to read at times. He's an ardent supporter of the 2nd Amendment. Him and jugs don't agree on much. Now that she's a host of the anti gun forum, he managed to find himself on their iggy list.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=about&forum=1262

[franksolich]

Skippy is hard to read at times. He's an ardent supporter of the 2nd Amendment. Him and jugs don't agree on much. Now that she's a host of the anti gun forum, he managed to find himself on their iggy list.

Uh oh.

Uh oh for   , that is.

By the way, I haven't checked lately, but is it still the case that while proponents of the Second Amendment get tossed out of the anti-gun forums, the anti-gun nuts on Skins's island don't get tossed out of the pro-Second Amendment forum there?

[tanstaafl]

I'd like, at this time, to call attention to the ladies on my LEFT. And enter their names in nomination for DUMMY OF THE YEAR:

First, cbayer. Who has given us many reasons to vote for her, but most especially to me for her utter preponderance of pretentiousness when describing Provence this or that, and her other exclamation of sheer disgust at the other poor ladies in the Cooking and Baking forum. We all know, well at least should assume, that all she has room to cook on the two burner countertop hotplate is a skillet of past dated eggs and some scraps of sausage crumbs from the dumpster behind Dennys.

Second, Sabrina. For her useless support of the Round Bald One. Acres and acres of typeface to silence the bullies nipping at our heroine's heels when all she really had to do was screech "SHADDUP!"

And then, there's Are_Grits_Groceries. What can I say, AGG, grits are not groceries. I can't stand the sight of them. But for little other reason than your stupid screen handle I nominate you for DOTY.

Oh, and because you found out too late that cACA would actually raise your health insurance rate, stick you with inferior insurance. Quit your job, go on welfare and get better coverage with Medicaid. Good luck finding a doctor. Lets hear you cheer now.

[franksolich]

First, cbayer. Who has given us many reasons to vote for her, but most especially to me for her utter preponderance of pretentiousness when describing Provence this or that, and her other exclamation of sheer disgust at the other poor ladies in the Cooking and Baking forum. We all know, well at least should assume, that all she has room to cook on the two burner countertop hotplate is a skillet of past dated eggs and some scraps of sausage crumbs from the dumpster behind Dennys.

You know, I was hoping someone would nomnate the cbayer primitive; if she ended up being unnominated by Saturday evening, I was going to do it myself, but it would smack of favoritism.  She's on my list for the top ten, the bottom half of it somewhere.

[BattleHymn]

First, cbayer.

The cbayer primitive! How could I forget?  This is why the nomination and campaign threads are so important. 

[Tucker]

Uh oh.

Uh oh for   , that is.

By the way, I haven't checked lately, but is it still the case that while proponents of the Second Amendment get tossed out of the anti-gun forums, the anti-gun nuts on Skins's island don't get tossed out of the pro-Second Amendment forum there?

You are correct.

[franksolich]

The cbayer primitive! How could I forget?  This is why the nomination and campaign threads are so important. 

Well, I'll be damned.

How could we've missed this one?

Fat Che's Little Brother for Top DUmmie, and for the Rob.

[franksolich]

Well, with about 88 hours (more or less) to go before nominations close:

- - - - - - - - - -

Top DUmmies (twenty to be selected, top ten to be especially prized):

1StrongBlackMan
Are_Grits_Groceries
BainsBane
Bennyboy
cali

California Peggy
cbayer
DainBramaged
darkangel218
deninmi

DFW
fizzgig
fumesucker
gopiscrap
graham4anything

grasswire
JudiLynn
kentuck
Lady Freedom Returns
Link Speed

Loc0nuts
malaise
Manifestor_of_Light
Mineral Man
MrScorpio

nadinbrzezinski
NYC_SKP
Omaha Steve
Pab Sungenius
onehandle

Pretzel_Warrior
ProSense
rsmith6621
Sabrina 1
Scuba

Seabeyond
SidDithers
Skinner
Steve2470
steveleser

Taverner
TheMastersNemesis
treestar
trumad
William Pitt

William769

- - - - - - - - - -

the Willie:

Andy Stephenson
cali
EFerrari
Omaha Steve
Redstone
Stinky the Clown

the Steve:

DainBramaged
Taverner

the Rob:

Atman
BainsBane
deninmi
Lady Freedom Returns
Loc0nuts
nadinbrzezinski
Pab Sungenius
Taverner

the Nadin:

BainsBane
nadinbrzezinski
ProSense

group award:

the anti-gun nuts
the bullies
the cooking and baking primitives
the moles
the 0bamacare lemmings (name of group tentative, subject to change)
the wish-for-a-dupe beggars

[BattleHymn]

Well, I'll be damned.

How could we've missed this one?

Fat Che's Little Brother for Top DUmmie, and for the Rob.

Wasn't the Fat Che's Little Brother primitive the one who "discovered" us? 

[BlueStateSaint]

This primitive has been on Neil Cavuto's show on FNC multiple times, where he proves the old adage, "Some people remain silent and are thought to be fools.  Some people open their mouths and remove all doubt."

I nominate steveleser for the "Rob."

[Tucker]

This primitive has been on Neil Cavuto's show on FNC multiple times, where he proves the old adage, "Some people remain silent and are thought to be fools.  Some people open their mouths and remove all doubt."

I nominate steveleser for the "Rob."

He's weird looking too.

[Carl]

I think the moron ambulance chaser,singles website creeper and online gamer from Georgia,Laelth,deserves a nomination for DOTY.

[franksolich]

I think the moron ambulance chaser,singles website creeper and online gamer from Georgia,Laelth,deserves a nomination for DOTY.

Duly recorded, and on the ballot.

Myself, though, I'm loath to nominate primitives who've had the balls to show up here--don't let that stop anybody else, though--excepting for their own particular reasons,   and my twin Atman.

But generally, if a primitive actually shows up here, franksolich thereafter loses interest, and disturbs the primitive no more.

I dunno why that is, but it just happens.

[EagleKeeper]

Here is my list, in no particular order.

Top Dummie
TheMastersNemisis
Prosense
Pretzel_Warrior
WilliamPitt
Cali_Democrat
KellieKatt44
JaneyVee
yurbud
StevenLeser
Grahm4anything
rsmith6621
bigdarryl
bennyboy
ichingcarpenter
berlum
TX4Obama
darkangel218
diabeticman
MrScorpio
HarveyDarkey


The Pitt
Dainbrameged

The Steve
Taverner

The Rob
Pretzel_Warrior

The Nadin
Prosense

The Group Award?
Obamabots

[franksolich]

You know, diabeticman's a really good choice; now that he's been nominated, I'm pretty sure I'll be voting for him.

The 0bama Gestapo's been nominated, and won an award, before; I'm not sure what year, though.

Thanks for the nominations; they're all going on the ballot.

[franksolich]

By the way, not here, but on the ballot, there's going to be a link to what in Nebraska's called "the voter information guide" to candidates.

But one has to be in that exclusive group, members with 1000+ posts only, to be illuminated by it, sorry.