Perhaps in the spirit of "everyone is a winner", a new catagory should be created. Something along the lines of DUmmy Emeritus?
There's a problem, though.
One person writes all the awards. The winners are given to him a mere five days before it's time to start posting them. And those five days happen to be.....just before Christmas. There's been circa 15-20 awards every year, and of course not all of them get written in those five days.
If one has family, social, or work obligations (I don't; I make it a point to clear the calendar of all such things beforehand), he couldn't do it. It's a lot of pressure, to churn out so much in so little time.
Some of the awards I've written have been, literally, hot off the press, first-and-only drafts, and finished just seconds before I've posted them. The closest call was when the
die alte Sau won Top DUmmie in 2010; that was scheduled to come out shortly after lunch-time New Year's Eve.
I had to help the neighbor with some cattle in a raging blizzard the morning of December 31, 2010, and it was past 1:00 p.m. when I got back inside. I'd written not a word about the
die alte Sau, thinking I'd get it done that morning. I was considerably wet and my hands and fingers frozen when I sat down in front of the computer to write the award.
It was wholly first-draft, spur-of-the-moment. It came out circa 2:00 p.m., on time, if one considers that close enough to the promised "shortly after lunch-time."
<<<likes to be on time.
So right now, we're looking at what has to be written, in the order they'll most likely appear, the week between Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve:
(01) the bottom half of the top twenty primitives (one single award)
(02) the Willie
(03) top primitive #10
(04) the Steve
(05) top primitive #09
(06) the Rob
(07) top primitive #08
(08) the Nadin
(09) top primitive #07
(10) top primitive #06
(11) top primitive #05
(12) the group award
(13) top primitive #04
(14) top primitive #03
(16) top primitive #02
(17) top primitive #01
Seventeen awards in six and a half days. It's about like this every year, and I try to limit the number of awards given out, so that I may have more time to give the winning primitives my best literary efforts.