Doug really does have a kindred spirit. At halftime of the Alabama-Auburn game, they mentioned Harvey Updyke and I immediately thought of Doug.
In Auburn, AL, there were two big live oak trees that for decades were decorated by fans with toilet paper after an Auburn win.
Alabama fan Harvey, whose intelligence is on a par with Doug's, decided late one night to pour tree poison around the roots of these two landmark trees.
It takes the poison a year or two to take effect, but Harvey couldn't wait. He called a radio talk show and bragged about his one-man campaign against an Auburn tradition, and found himself thoroughly, totally wallduded.
Of course the CalPig would say, "That was an excellent idea, my dear Harvey!"
Harvey was finally sentenced to three years in jail so Doug should feel better about the consequences of his stupid trick.
On the other hand, after leaving jail Harvey will probably have job offers from Alabama fans, while no one wants any part of Doug.