I will brave the hour-long six mile commute to get to Jane. I need serious help.
Finally. The truth.
No, what you really want is someone to do it for you. Someone to pay for it for you. Someone to do the work, so you can take credit. You want the ability to be compensated for being a moronic, useless spud. You are a waste of human flesh failure who, somehow, deems themself able and qualified to tell other people (who do not require therapy, BTW) how they should live, how they should think and how they should act.
You are an idiot.
hour-long six mile commute
Oh

. I have humped, rucked up, that. Sounds like a blue hell-hole to me.
(....) is she a Drama Queen (.....)
Uh, ...yeah, Just a little.