nominating thread (11-21 through 12-01) for Top DUmmies of 2012

[franksolich]

And for the Top DUmmies of 2012, of which twenty are selected:

11bravo
AdBot
AviationPro
BanTheGOP
big darryl

the bullies
cali, dear cali, the bitter old Vermontese primitive
DainBramaged, the brain-damaged primitive
darkangel218, who might be the gone-away Sarah Ibarruri primitive
demtenjeep, Pamela

Denninmi
grantcart
grasswire, the pie-and-jam primitive
Hope Hoops
Horse With no Name, Ms. Ed the unappellated eohippus

iverlgas, the anti-gun nut
kpete, the rich bitch
LynneSin
TheMastersNemesis
MiddleFingerMom, the incredible bore

Mineral Man, the mineral oil primitive
MrScorpio, McDorkio, O'Dorkio, the dork primitive
nadinbrzezinski, Vlada Mitty, the oblate spheroid
Omaha Steve, the big guy
PCIntern, the dental office cleaning woman

Prosense, Baghdad Bob
Proud2BLibKansan, the Die alte Sau
RB TexLa
rsmith6621
Sabrina1, the oblate spheroid's best friend

Sarah Ibarruri
Skinner, EarlG, and Elad, the big three
steve2470
Stinky the Clown, the sparkling old dude
SystematicChaos, the Las Vegas Leviathan

Taverner
warpy, the defrocked warped primitive, she with the face like Hindenberg's
WarrenPease
Whovian
WilliamPitt, the Bostonian Drunkard

[RobJohnson]

I would like to see SystematicChaos nominated for the Rob.

He is never happy, he has no plans of ever working again, he passes gas all day long with his roomate, and he is a picture perfect snapshop of a typical DUmmy. Everything the guy posts causes me to 

[Ballygrl]

darkangel218, who might be the gone-away Sarah Ibarruri primitive

I saw Sarah posting I think last week in a thread that wasn't worth bringing over.

[franksolich]

I gotta be a real asshole and nominate a poor crippled handicapped primitive, the Odin2005 primitive, for Top DUmmies of 2012.

The late Tangergine LaBamba three years ago told us all about the Odin primitive, but I choose to withhold her information for his award, if he's one of the top twenty.

The Odin primitive's the chunky lad of 28, 29, years, who has the mildest form of autism possible for which one can jump aboard the disability gravy train.  He's from Minnesota, right across the river from Fargo, North Dakota, and besides hanging around Skins's island, he's also been in occupational protests.

He hangs around bothering the employees of the local Goodwill thrift store, and apparently once boasted (I have no confirmation, though) of shoplifting from Wal-Mart.

The last I saw of the Odin primitive, which is fairly recent (like within the past two weeks), he was talking about attending college to get a degree in.....psychology.  Which I guess is sort of like franksolich attending college to learn to become a music critic, or Revolution to become an art critic.

However, the Odin primitive insists attending classes tires him out, wears him down, and so he's taking only one three-credit-hour course a semester.  I dunno what the credit-hour requirements for a bachelor's degree are now, but when I got mine, it was 128 hours.  At that rate, it's going to take the Odin primitive 42+ years to get that degree.

Lest anyone think franksolich is being a mean nasty repuke making fun of a "handicapped" primitive, it needs pointed out that franksolich's autism is worse than the Odin primitive's autism.  It's just that franksolich has always worked around his problem so it's hardly a problem, rather than milking the taxpayers.  So the lame Odin primitive can shove that up his rectal aperture and smoke it.  

[franksolich]

I would like to see SystematicChaos nominated for the Rob.

He is never happy, he has no plans of ever working again, he passes gas all day long with his roomate, and he is a picture perfect snapshop of a typical DUmmy. Everything the guy posts causes me to 

Okay, he's on.

My favorite of course is Atman, who makes me side-splittingly laugh, but if I needed a second choice, yes, it'd be the Las Vegas Leviathan.  The whale's comedy gold.

[franksolich]

I saw Sarah posting I think last week in a thread that wasn't worth bringing over.

We probably saw the exact same campfire by the La Pasionaria primitive, but it's really odd that she hasn't been posting nearly as much as she used to.  Since George Bush won re-election back in November 2004, and she promised to leave the country if he did, I was sort of hoping she was packing.

But darkangel218 sounds like her identical twin at least.

[franksolich]

Using my prerogative to determine the ballot, I took DonRedwood and Raven (the maternal ancestress of the Bostonian Drunkard) off the ballot for the "Willie," because neither meet the stated requirements for that award.

However, I'm putting them both in for the Top DUmmies of 2012.

The bitter old Vermontese cali primitive had also been nominated for the "Willie" and disqualified, but as she'd already been nominated for one of the slots as a Top DUmmie of 2012, no need to tamper with that.

[GOBUCKS]

Dennis the Menace should be on the list for the Rob.

[Ptarmigan]

Salinen should be considered DUmmy of the year for his anti-military screed.

[MoshMasterD]

I say DUmp's resident tough guy Great Caesars Ghost should be Newbie, Rob and DOTY.

[Revolution]

For the Willie, I'd like to nominate what I would like to christen the "Military Morons" of DU. This thread gave me the idea, but I wanted to run it by you for your approval, Frank.

The Military Morons. Quite a prevalent group at DU, and possibly growing. Those who believe the U.S. Military are a bunch of war mongering bullies who do nothing for them, have done nothing for them, and never will do anything for them.

Idiots.

[franksolich]

For the Willie, I'd like to nominate what I would like to christen the "Military Morons" of DU. This thread gave me the idea, but I wanted to run it by you for your approval, Frank.

The Military Morons. Quite a prevalent group at DU, and possibly growing. Those who believe the U.S. Military are a bunch of war mongering bullies who do nothing for them, have done nothing for them, and never will do anything for them.

Idiots.

"Military morons" is a group of primitives, so yeah, sure, it can go on the ballot.

Just as "the bullies" already are, and the BOG (the 0bamaites) have been in the past.

Forums (the meta forum, for example) and practices (the jury system, for example) of Skins's island are not a defineable group of primitives, however.

[franksolich]

I still have a few more nominations to make, but this morning I want to campaign for a primitive on the ballot--as is perfectly permissible on both the nominating and voting threads.

While many here are familiar with the LynneSin primitive, probably too many don't think she's worthy of being a Top DUmmie.  Or perhaps it's just because franksolich knows her better than most here do.

The LynneSin primitive, a lounge lizard on Skins's island, is notorious for whining about people who look negatively upon plus-sized women.  It's true it's not nice to make fun of fat people, but primitives who politicize their fatness open themselves up wide open to critical observation and analysis.

It's the LynneSin primitive's own fault that decent and civilized people see, and remark upon, her fatness; she's the one who calls attention to it, and makes a political issue out of it.

If the LynneSin primitive were a decent and civilized person, nobody would notice she's fat; probably they'd think of "blonde" or "tall" or "Lynne" or "chatty" or "nice hairdo" or "good nose" long, long, long before they'd think of "fat," if they ever come around to thinking of "fat" at all.

Primitivity does that; it compels decent and civilized people to look at the undesirable aspects of a primitive.

But her whining's not why I nominated her for Top DUmmiehood.

I nominated the LynneSin primitive because shortly after the elections, she posted an "open letter" to Barack Milhous, asking that His High Mightiness at long last pay attention to the opinions and feelings of the primitives on Skins's island.

Yeah, sure, like that's going to happen.

Anyway, the "open letter" to The Supreme Being was couched in groveling subservient language and style suggestive of how a medieval serf might petition the king.  It was very telling, the way she wrote it. 

I thought it a textbook example of how the primitives look at Barack Milhous as their Lord and Savior.

[delilahmused]

Did The Magistrate not make the nomination list?

For the Willie:
Alan Grayson Granted, he usually only posts when he wants a handout but he's the essence of DUmmie.

For the Steve I'm torn between the Las Vegas Leviathan, stevenumbers and PCIntern.

For the Rob...poor stupid Beth, Doug's ex wife. Crazy bitch threw away a perfectly good husband to run a fundraiser for a guy she'd never met, who by every measure seemed healthy as a horse and was certainly in no rush to have surgery and whose partner had $50,000 he spent on remodeling the bathroom instead of paying for the scammer's surgery. After that Beth was never the same. Despite her post count, her popularity waned. She became a punchline whose every new post was loonier than the one before. Of course all of the above would also make her a prime candidate for the Steve but since I still laugh about some of this woman's stupidity, well I still go with the Rob.

Cindie

[franksolich]

Did The Magistrate not make the nomination list?

Whoa, I thought he did, but I've gone through the list with a fine-toothed comb and listed everyone who's been properly nominated.  I haven't seen it.

By the way, just naming a primitive doesn't hack it.  One has to name the award for which the primitive's being nominated, too.  I can't read minds.

The Willie, the Steve, the Rob, or a top DUmmie (of which one gets to vote for ten, but can nominate as many as one wishes).

The same rule will apply for voting too; one will have to specify which award.

I dislike being anal about this, but it's caused confusion and problems in the past, and as this is franksolich's last year of doing the Top DUmmies, and as the rules are pretty simple and easy, and given the second-string slate of primitives we have this year, I'm going to have to write some silk purses out of sow's ears as it is.

[delilahmused]

Whoa, I thought he did, but I've gone through the list with a fine-toothed comb and listed everyone who's been properly nominated.  I haven't seen it.

By the way, just naming a primitive doesn't hack it.  One has to name the award for which the primitive's being nominated, too.  I can't read minds.

The Willie, the Steve, the Rob, or a top DUmmie (of which one gets to vote for ten, but can nominate as many as one wishes).

The same rule will apply for voting too; one will have to specify which award.

I dislike being anal about this, but it's caused confusion and problems in the past, and as this is franksolich's last year of doing the Top DUmmies, and as the rules are pretty simple and easy, and given the second-string slate of primitives we have this year, I'm going to have to write some silk purses out of sow's ears as it is.

I'm sorry, I thought I did but reading my first post I can see how it would be confusing as to what they were nominated for. Here's my DOTY nominations:

The Magistrate for being a vile piece of human waste
That fat ass in Nevada, the 400 lbs. one who's tried every diet on the planet for 5 minutes and never spent a day in his life not complaining. Livin' large with so much hate.
Middle Finger Mom just because
11Bravo cuz it's always fun to have a military expert though all have been a big disappointment since TiT
Sabrinawhatever she's a caricature of a real human being
Nads because she's just everywhere
Pam the Jeep because she's the resident hypochondriac
kpete because she a big ****ing bitch who tries to pretend she's one of the masses from atop her gated community
And of course Councilman wannabe loser Steve Dawes, he's just been so much fun this year

Cindie

[franksolich]

Thank you, heart of my heart; that's much clearer now.

[Revolution]

and as this is franksolich's last year of doing the Top DUmmies

NO!!!

[franksolich]

Okay, as of Wednesday morning, this is the line-up for the ballot.

Please check it carefully to be sure all of one's favorite primitives have been nominated; one has until about supper-time this coming Saturday to nominate.

for the Willie, enhacing the reputation of Skins's island:

EFerrari, poor stupid Beth
the military-bashing primitives
Omaha Steve, the big guy
stevenleser
Systematic Chaos, the Las Vegas Leviathan

for the Steve, the primitive who's his worst enemy:

AviationPro
demtenjeep, Pamela
Dob Bole, the new mayor
HopeHoops
NNN0LHI, my pal grouchy old Don
Omaha Steve, the big guy
PCIntern
Systematic Chaos, the Las Vegas Leviathan

for the Rob, the primitive who's always hilariously funny:

Alan Grayson
Atman, Pedro Picasso, franksolich's evil twin
California Peggy, CalPig
Cyrano, Cryano (thanks to Revolution for inventing the better name)
Denninmi, the Dennis the Menace primitive
Great Caesar's Ghost
Sytematic Chaos, the Las Vegas Leviathan

[franksolich]

And for the Top DUmmies of 2012, of which twenty are selected:

11bravo
AdBot
AviationPro
BanTheGOP
big darryl

the bullies
cali, dear cali, the bitter old Vermontese primitive
DainBramaged, the brain-damaged primitive
darkangel218, the Sarah Ibarruri wannabe
demtenjeep, Pamela

Denninmi
DonRedwood
grantcart
grasswire, the pie-and-jam primitive
Great Caesar's Ghost

Hope Hoops
Horse With no Name, Ms. Ed the unappellated eohippus
iverglas, the anti-gun nut
kpete, the rich bitch
LynneSin

The Magistrate, the magisterial primitive
TheMastersNemesis
MiddleFingerMom, the incredible bore
Mineral Man, the mineral oil primitive
MrScorpio, McDorkio, O'Dorkio, the dork primitive

nadinbrzezinski, Vlada Mitty, the oblate spheroid
Odin2005, the aspie lad
Omaha Steve, the big guy
PCIntern, the dental office cleaning woman
Prosense, Baghdad Bob

Proud2BLibKansan, the Die alte Sau
Raven, the maternal ancestress of the Bostonian Drunkard
RB TexLa
rsmith6621
Sabrina1, the oblate spheroid's best friend

Salinen
Sarah Ibarruri
Skinner, EarlG, and Elad, the big three
steve2470
Stinky the Clown, the sparkling old dude

SystematicChaos, the Las Vegas Leviathan
Taverner
warpy, the defrocked warped primitive, she with the face like Hindenberg's
WarrenPease
Whovian
WilliamPitt, the Bostonian Drunkard

[Chris_]

Has the formica DUmmy, formercia, made an appearance this year?  I remember his drooling rants and his shout-out to the Cave but  I don't remember if that was this year or last year.

Funny stuff.  He deserves a nomination.

[BlueStateSaint]

I'd like to submit Allan Grayson for the Willie, too.  His being on the island can do nothing but 'help' both his and the island's reputations.

[Karin]

For the Rob, the hilariously funny one, I have to nominate RSmithnumbers.  Every bouncy is pure comedy gold, and the cover letter was a classic. 

I have to say, the "one's own worst enemy" award is going to be very difficult choosing. 

[Carl]

After reading through the newest part of this thread...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021890586

I nominate ProSense for the Rob.
It is worth a look even though the DUmps idiotic posting format can make your head spin.

[wasp69]

I would like to take a moment and nominate W8liftinglady for DOTY.  Anyone who can present herself as a badass super woman that needs to be provided "benefits" by someone else is so cognitively dissonant that it strains credulity as to why the space/time continuum has not ripped apart.

My second nomination for DOTY is the military hating, 99% wannabe, oilfield trash, all around idiot arctic dave.  How anyone can work in a petroleum profession, in a state where you get paid for just being a citizen, and whine about the lack of govt interference is a mystery that no civilized person could ever hope to solve.

Since the fine citizens of the Cave have nominated most of my selections for the special awards, I would like to add DUmbass lunatica for the Rob.  She is so far out of phase with reality, I'd be amazed if she cast a shadow in sunlight.  Anything she types is comedy gold.