Here in the South it's common to ask for donations instead of flowers if someone is cremated. As for the length of time between death and funeral or service, that does seem unusual.
What I find strange is the obit was so short. Here, everyone related to the deceased is listed including brothers and sisters. He owned a business. That wasn't noted.
Something else has me curious. If Tom the liar had not phoned him, would his wife have logged in to DU to tell anyone? Knowing he posted there regularly you'd think she would have told someone. He called DUmp people. Did she not know?
On the matter of obituaries, it's probably a personal preference.
My own will, for example, notes that for my own obituary, I wish just my full name, date and place of birth, and date and place of death, be given, nothing else. It's because of my ancient Roman Catholic tenet that what passes in this world is unimportant; all That Counts is the Eternal world.
On the third point you made, I too am curious.
The primitives always make allegations of being a close-knit group, best buds and all that, but for all the communication they actually do in real life (Doug's stupid ex-wife for example never actually met the red round one in real life), there might as well be a six-foot-thick solid steel wall between them.
That the CalPig primitive, who was deeply fond of Redstone, learned only
six days after the event, speaks volumes.