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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2011, 05:19:20 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on January 05, 2011, 05:05:27 PM
Just a few years ago, people laughed out loud at ridiculous words like "spokesperson" and "chairperson". But "niggardly" is still a perfectly good word among people with IQs of at least the high double digits.

Well, that culls about 90% of the DUmp!

Problem solved!
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2011, 05:40:36 PM »
This is one the DUmmies need to hear!

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWVB1ghsoBs[/youtube]

Can ya just imagine the armpit wavin' cluster**** this would cause?

« Last Edit: January 05, 2011, 05:49:03 PM by AllosaursRus »
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2011, 05:47:59 PM »
Hehehe
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3H8B_aW3ZQ[/youtube]
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Offline true_blood

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2011, 07:38:28 PM »
Quote from: SGT Snuggle Bunny on January 05, 2011, 02:18:28 PM
To be fair: every time I here the expression "stupid, in-bred, thieving, half-educated, totally-stoned, retarded, lay-about welfare junkie" I think, "democrat."
That's funny SGT. I think the same, either a democrat or liberal as well. :cheersmate:
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Offline Rebel

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2011, 09:40:38 PM »
Hell yeah! Jerry Clower! My fellow Mississippian.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #30 on: January 05, 2011, 09:53:19 PM »
Quote from: Rebel on January 05, 2011, 09:40:38 PM
Hell yeah! Jerry Clower! My fellow Mississippian.

So, did ya read my definition of StumpJumper, or are ya just ignorin' me?
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Offline Mike B the Cajun

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2011, 09:59:43 PM »
Quote from: Rebel on January 05, 2011, 09:40:38 PM
Hell yeah! Jerry Clower! My fellow Mississippian.

This Coonass loves Jerry's humor... especially stories about Dammit Ray....
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Offline thundley4

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2011, 10:08:42 PM »
I hadn't listened to Jerry Clower in a coon's age until today.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #33 on: January 05, 2011, 10:11:33 PM »
Quote from: Randy on January 05, 2011, 04:16:04 PM
I had relatives that lived in Tracy Minn. (Think Little House on the Prairie area) and they had a *GASP* Black family move into town. Their house became a local tourist attraction. People would honestly to God go out of their way to drive by hoping to see them. Then if there was a sighting the phones burnt up. We Floridians LOAO at them.

When I was writin' Bonds up here in the great northwest, I had about a half dozen clients that were, shall we say non-white. We were the only ones that they'd call. They thought since my last name was the opposite, I must be.............!

Amazing how many Blacks have the same last name as mine!

It was hilarious! N. Idaho is not known to be exactly cooperative with race. Even though we kicked those assholes out years ago, we still have a reputation that lingers.

My favorite is a guy named Calvin. His wife was Caucasian, heaven forbid, and she had a real bad habit of writin' checks Calvin couldn't cash!

I finally convinced him to leave her ass in jail for a while and teach her a damn lesson!

Now we're just good friends. Haven't had to bail her out in over a year! He always brings me a bottle of Red Label when he comes over to use my shootin' range! One of the nicest guys I have ever met, and has a gun collection rivaling mine! I told him, "that's what ya get for marryin' a white woman"! At first he kinda took offense. Then he thought about it for a minute, and then damned near knocked me down laughin', poundin' me on the back! Did I mention Calvin is about 6'4" and 280?

I know if I get into a scrape that I need help with, Calvin will be there any time I ask, and I will be there for him! I consider him one of my closest friends!
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #34 on: January 05, 2011, 10:15:48 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on January 05, 2011, 10:08:42 PM
I hadn't listened to Jerry Clower in a coon's age until today.

Know watcha mean bro!

I haven't stopped since the first link to YouTube! There's tons of his stuff on there! I read Patrick McManus, too! Between him and Jerry, they pretty much let me relive my younger days!

I think I was about 14 when I first went Boar huntin'! Scared the livin' hell right outa me! Dad rthought it was downright hilarious! The prick!
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Offline thundley4

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #35 on: January 05, 2011, 10:20:49 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on January 05, 2011, 10:15:48 PM
Know watcha mean bro!

I haven't stopped since the first link to YouTube! There's tons of his stuff on there! I read Patrick McManus, too! Between him and Jerry, they pretty much let me relive my younger days!

I think I was about 14 when I first went Boar huntin'! Scared the livin' hell right outa me! Dad rthought it was downright hilarious! The prick!

Was McManus the guy that used to write about the "north woods" for Field & Stream, or am I thinking about someone else?
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Offline Rebel

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #36 on: January 05, 2011, 10:40:49 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on January 05, 2011, 09:53:19 PM
So, did ya read my definition of StumpJumper, or are ya just ignorin' me?

I did, and I ain't hunting boar unless I'm in an elevated position and with a BIGASS caliber weapon. You're DEAD right. It takes a f'n tank to bring one down and they are mean as shit.
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Offline Rebel

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #37 on: January 05, 2011, 10:41:43 PM »
Quote from: Mike B the Cajun on January 05, 2011, 09:59:43 PM
This Coonass loves Jerry's humor... especially stories about Dammit Ray....

**** L$Who! Hotty Toddy!

...just introducing myself.  :cheersmate:
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #38 on: January 05, 2011, 11:12:40 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on January 05, 2011, 10:20:49 PM
Was McManus the guy that used to write about the "north woods" for Field & Stream, or am I thinking about someone else?

That's the guy! One of my favorites is "They Shoot Canoes Don't They?"

Ya gots to look this guy up! The wife thinks I have lost my mind when I read him! I just can't stop laughin'!

"The Grasshopper Trap" is another good one! He has around a dozen or so books that are all compilations of short stories. He was born here in my back yard back in the 50's! We're close to the same age, so we went thru much the same tech wise! I have lived many of his stories!

Be careful! Once ya start readin' him, he is addictive!
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #39 on: January 05, 2011, 11:15:17 PM »
Quote from: Rebel on January 05, 2011, 10:40:49 PM
I did, and I ain't hunting boar unless I'm in an elevated position and with a BIGASS caliber weapon. You're DEAD right. It takes a f'n tank to bring one down and they are mean as shit.

Sure wish like hell Uncle Allen and my Dad woulda clued me in on that before they took me to Arkansas to hunt the bastards!!!!!!

They thought it was hilarious!
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Offline thundley4

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #40 on: January 05, 2011, 11:19:54 PM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on January 05, 2011, 11:12:40 PM
That's the guy! One of my favorites is "They Shoot Canoes Don't They?"

Ya gots to look this guy up! The wife thinks I have lost my mind when I read him! I just can't stop laughin'!

"The Grasshopper Trap" is another good one! He has around a dozen or so books that are all compilations of short stories. He was born here in my back yard back in the 50's! We're close to the same age, so we went thru much the same tech wise! I have lived many of his stories!

Be careful! Once ya start readin' him, he is addictive!

I used to get Field & Stream way back in the 70's when I was in school, which makes it a surprise that I remember him.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #41 on: January 05, 2011, 11:42:18 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on January 05, 2011, 11:19:54 PM
I used to get Field & Stream way back in the 70's when I was in school, which makes it a surprise that I remember him.

The guy went to school in a little one room schoolhouse up by Priest Lake, about 30 miles from here. His mom was a single parent and as you can imagine, he was a handful! I've met him several times and he is as much a riot in person as he describes in his books!

One of his best friends that he calls Rancid Crabtree, fictitious name of course, but the guy really did exist, apparently do to his stench from not having "indoor" plumbin', was an older guy. The typical bum back in those days, livin' off the land and what ever he could con his charitable neighbors out of. I have met several individuals up here that could fill that bill nicely! I know one old guy that's pushin' 80 that stills does back flips in the local drinkin' establishment once he gets a buzz! Lives in a cabin he built up Rapid Lightnin' Creek! True story!!!

Yeah, we still have what some people would describe as "Mountain Men" livin' here abouts!

If ya get a chance, pick up a coupla of his books! They are out in paperback now and are pretty cheap! I guarandamnteeya you will laugh your ass off and we have done some of the things he describes over and over! Ya want to relive yer youth? Remember fallin' in the river or stumblin' down a cliff? If not, you will!!!
« Last Edit: January 05, 2011, 11:45:23 PM by AllosaursRus »
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Offline LC EFA

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #42 on: January 06, 2011, 02:05:57 AM »
Quote from: Rebel on January 05, 2011, 10:40:49 PM
I did, and I ain't hunting boar unless I'm in an elevated position and with a BIGASS caliber weapon. You're DEAD right. It takes a f'n tank to bring one down and they are mean as shit.

I've been out in the scrub with people that consider using something more than a knife weak.

They're all ****in' crazy.

Me - I'm good with 308 or 45/70 for pigs. The 45 for up close and personal.
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #43 on: January 06, 2011, 03:07:04 AM »
Quote from: LC EFA on January 06, 2011, 02:05:57 AM
I've been out in the scrub with people that consider using something more than a knife weak.

They're all ****in' crazy.

Me - I'm good with 308 or 45/70 for pigs. The 45 for up close and personal.

I never go into the woods without my Dirty Harry Special! If my .44 mag with 260 gr. hollows don't bring it down, I'm ****ed anyway!

We got griz around here! If you think a Boar Hog is mean, ya oughta see what a Boar Griz can do and they're the easy ones. Mama is much worse!

Thanx to the eco terrorists they have re-introduced 'em up here! Not only them, but they decided we needed wolves too! It's Damn dangerous to go out in the woods nowadays! We've always had good size Black Bear, but now, if ya go hikin', you can get hunted!
« Last Edit: January 06, 2011, 03:12:33 AM by AllosaursRus »
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Offline LC EFA

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #44 on: January 06, 2011, 04:08:52 AM »
Quote from: AllosaursRus on January 06, 2011, 03:07:04 AM
I never go into the woods without my Dirty Harry Special! If my .44 mag with 260 gr. hollows don't bring it down, I'm ****ed anyway!

We got griz around here! If you think a Boar Hog is mean, ya oughta see what a Boar Griz can do and they're the easy ones. Mama is much worse!

Thanx to the eco terrorists they have re-introduced 'em up here! Not only them, but they decided we needed wolves too! It's Damn dangerous to go out in the woods nowadays! We've always had good size Black Bear, but now, if ya go hikin', you can get hunted!

I've never understood why people think the Australian outback is so "dangerous". Sure we've a lot of venomous insects and snakes - but they're insects and snakes. Hardly anything to get worked up on.

The craw-cee-doiles don't much care unless you jump into their piece of water and the sharks the same.

You've got BEARS.

****in BEARS !

...and mountain lions , and cougars and so on.

Animals that hunt YOU.

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Offline Randy

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #45 on: January 06, 2011, 05:15:17 AM »
Quote from: LC EFA on January 06, 2011, 04:08:52 AM
I've never understood why people think the Australian outback is so "dangerous". Sure we've a lot of venomous insects and snakes - but they're insects and snakes. Hardly anything to get worked up on.

The craw-cee-doiles don't much care unless you jump into their piece of water and the sharks the same.

You've got BEARS.

****in BEARS !

...and mountain lions , and cougars and so on.

Animals that hunt YOU.



I was watching the show Man, Woman, Wild and they'd been dropped in the middle of the Savanna in Africa. As soon as they were done with the OK honey here we are assessment of the situation and what they needed to do long term he turned to the wife with.

Honey you have to understand something, look at me and listen carefully. We are no longer at the top of the food chain here. We each have to have the other in sight at all times, we have to watch each others back. There are things out here hunting us and we have to stick together to survive.

The whole time I was thinking about how handy a gun would be.  :-)

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Offline Karin

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #46 on: January 06, 2011, 07:58:29 AM »
I'm a big Patrick McManus fan.  I've read them all.  Funny as hell!
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #47 on: January 06, 2011, 09:49:29 AM »
I've got a pretty funny story about a call to a police department in my neck of the woods, once upon a time, many (25+) years ago, that involved a 'coon.  I'm not going to post it on this board, though.  If you want it, I'll PM you.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2011, 10:13:16 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on January 06, 2011, 09:49:29 AM
I've got a pretty funny story about a call to a police department in my neck of the woods, once upon a time, many (25+) years ago, that involved a 'coon.  I'm not going to post it on this board, though.  If you want it, I'll PM you.

Had a cousin working dispatch in a small southern town late one night. Guy calls up all excited screaming, "There's a 'coon in my house." Cousin asked what the 'coon was doing, "He's tearing everything up. Come quick." Cousin had figured out what color the caller was and that he was talking about an animal....and had dispatched an officer to that address....so he decided to have a little fun. He asked how big the 'coon was...is he armed...what is he wearing etc.'...then he asked what kind of 'coon was he talking about...The fellow on the phone tells him, "It's the 4 legged kind. This is a 2 legged 'coon calling." ... :rotf: 
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: DUmmies Discuss Coon Hunters
« Reply #49 on: January 06, 2011, 10:36:57 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on January 06, 2011, 10:13:16 AM
Had a cousin working dispatch in a small southern town late one night. Guy calls up all excited screaming, "There's a 'coon in my house." Cousin asked what the 'coon was doing, "He's tearing everything up. Come quick." Cousin had figured out what color the caller was and that he was talking about an animal....and had dispatched an officer to that address....so he decided to have a little fun. He asked how big the 'coon was...is he armed...what is he wearing etc.'...then he asked what kind of 'coon was he talking about...The fellow on the phone tells him, "It's the 4 legged kind. This is a 2 legged 'coon calling." ... :rotf: 

Bailiff, whack his peepee!!!

Who's got the "That's Racist" pic??? lol!
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