Author Topic: CalPig primitive whips out a new one  (Read 4039 times)

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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #25 on: August 23, 2010, 10:09:10 PM »
"My room




Padded walls



Steel door
Locked



My bed
Straps




My jacket
3 foot sleeves
strapped tight in back





Bed straps
Criss-Crossed across my body
Tight





My 80 year-old breasts
Two feet long, drooping
1/2 inch thick






Compressed against my abdominal paunch
RASH - SCREAMING for release






Depends overflowing
Not able to empty or wipe





Throw-up breakfast in mouth against electro-shock therapy rubber damn in mouth
Becomes evening dinner





Let's make bread"





 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #26 on: August 23, 2010, 10:20:04 PM »
Oh, Great Merciful Zeus...

It's shit like this that gives me flashbacks. I used to work as an assistant editor (meaning: smegma technician) at one of those free liberal rags every large city has, and part of my job was wallowing through schlock like this that the area moonbats would send in, mistaking themselves for writers.  :loser:

You poor, poor bastard!  Here...have a drink...

 :cheersmate:
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline dandi

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #27 on: August 24, 2010, 01:59:15 AM »
I'm guessing it's either a bottle of gin or the cat.

I'm thinking something battery-operated.
I don't want...anybody else
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Offline miskie

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #28 on: August 24, 2010, 05:50:18 AM »
"My room




Padded walls



Steel door
Locked



My bed
Straps




My jacket
3 foot sleeves
strapped tight in back





Bed straps
Criss-Crossed across my body
Tight





My 80 year-old breasts
Two feet long, drooping
1/2 inch thick






Compressed against my abdominal paunch
RASH - SCREAMING for release






Depends overflowing
Not able to empty or wipe





Throw-up breakfast in mouth against electro-shock therapy rubber damn in mouth
Becomes evening dinner





Let's make bread"


How did I miss this the first time ? Muchos funny right there.  :-)

Offline Godot showed up

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #29 on: August 24, 2010, 09:12:23 AM »
She's trapped in "© 2010 MLC"?

Offline true_blood

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #30 on: August 24, 2010, 09:35:07 AM »
Wow!!

Somebody broke into the Thorazine locker...

You know how those libs/progressives need their "head meds"!  :mental:

Offline delilahmused

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #31 on: August 24, 2010, 12:25:03 PM »
I'm thinking something battery-operated.

Probably why she's writing bad poetry...the battery died!

Cindie
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #32 on: August 24, 2010, 01:47:07 PM »
Probably why she's writing bad poetry...the battery died!

Cindie

I'm pretty sure anything that gets close to Cal's regions that would require batteries would die!

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Offline Tucker

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #33 on: August 24, 2010, 04:33:02 PM »
I can say with all seriousness that Cpeg will not be among those that I select for DUmmy of the year. S/he will not even make a token appearance.

S/he just isn't DOY material
Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.

Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #34 on: August 24, 2010, 04:56:01 PM »
I can say with all seriousness that Cpeg will not be among those that I select for DUmmy of the year. S/he will not even make a token appearance.

S/he just isn't DOY material

You're right! I'm pretty sure it would take NASA in order to figure out what "material" her poems come from!
I'm the guy your mother warned you about!
 

Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: CalPig primitive whips out a new one
« Reply #35 on: August 24, 2010, 05:07:09 PM »
You're right! I'm pretty sure it would take NASA in order to figure out what "material" her poems come from!

I think it's more of a job for a zoologist than a rocket scientist.
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.