The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Big Dog on September 25, 2013, 07:43:19 PM
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Last weekend, I had friends over for dinner, and made the first of my new DUmpmonkey inspired foods...
GNADS
"The "G" is silent!"
(Polish sausage burritos)
6 Polish sausages
6 small corn tortillas
3 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
3 12 ounce cans cheap beer (I used Miller High Life)
Spicy brown mustard (optional)
Sauerkraut (optional)
1. In a stock pot, bring beer to a rolling boil. Add Polish sausages, return to boil, reduce heat to medium, boil for 10 minutes.
2. Heat a cast iron skillet on medium. Warm a tortilla on one side until softened, then flip. Sprinkle shredded cheese evenly on the tortilla. Heat until the cheese begins to melt.
3. Roll a Polish sausage inside the tortilla, and set aside.
4. Repeat with the remaining tortillas and sausages.
5. Place the sausage rolls in the skillet. Brown the tortillas, turning frequently.
6. Place sausage rolls on a plate. Serve with spicy mustard and chilled kraut (optional).
If you really want to cross the Rubicon, serve with tequila, limes, and salt!
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LOCOPUFFS
Recommended by 5 out of 5 entwined personalities!
6 cups generic Cocoa Puff cereal (must use generic, 'cuz Daddy says buying the name brand stuff is wasteful)
1- 10 oz bag marshmallows
3 tbsp butter
1 tbsp candy sprinkles
Wax paper
1. Place a sheet of wax paper on a cookie sheet.
2. In a large Pyrex bowl, combine marshmallows and butter. Cover bowl loosely with wax paper.
3. Microwave on "high" for 2 minutes.
4. Remove from microwave and mix thoroughly. Cover and return to microwave.
5. Microwave on "high" for 1 minute. Remove bowl from microwave.
6. Gently mix cereal and sprinkles into bowl.
7. Remove serving-spoon sized measures of mixture. Carefully mold into imaginative shapes, and place on baking sheet.
Be careful, mixture will be warm to almost hot.
8. Chill in refrigerator for one hour.
Serve with Kahlua and cream (a.k.a. "Mother's Milk").
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Do I have to use regular marshmallows or can I use cereal marshmallows (http://www.cerealmarshmallows.com/)?
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Do I have to use regular marshmallows or can I use cereal marshmallows (http://www.cerealmarshmallows.com/)?
Oh, my God. They sell 95 pounds of cereal marshmallows for $400.
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Do I have to use regular marshmallows or can I use cereal marshmallows (http://www.cerealmarshmallows.com/)?
I don't eat cereal of any kind, so I thought you were trying to be funny about the "cereal" marshmallows.... until I went to the website. :o
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If I want any recipes inspired by liberals I'll ask Sweeney Todd.
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TUCSON-STYLE HOBO STEW
Authentic Arizona Bum Food!
1 8 ounce bag of Great Northern beans- from the Food Bank
4 slices of baloney, torn up into little pieces - from the Sally soup kitchen
1 package vegetable flavored ramen noodles - free at the Food Bank, or 21 cents at the Dollar Store
Salt, pepper, and hot sauce to taste- from the condiments station at Taco Bell
OPTIONAL: Onions scraped from 3 hamburgers- from the Dumpster behind Mickey D's - Accept no substitutes, because every hobo knows McD's onions never spoil
1. In a large coffee can, soak the beans overnight with one packet of salt. Cover the can with your clean pair of underpants, to keep the bedbugs out.
2. In the morning, remove your underpants from the can.
3. Add the flavor packet from the ramen noodles and the baloney. Add the onions if you were able to find enough hamburgers in the Dumpster behind Mickey D's.
4. Cook for 4 hours over a fire made from Chad's earthly possessions and Dave's love letters to that skank you saw him with two days ago. We know you took them while Dave was at his appointment at the VA yesterday.
5. Stir in the ramen noodles, add a splash of whatever alcohol you can get your hands on. Boil for 5 minutes.
6. Season with salt, pepper, and hot sauce packets.
7. Serve with the buns from the McD hamburgers. Eat with a spork you took from the condiment station at Taco Bell.
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Ha!
Sounds tasty. I bet she still has the keys to "their" apartment (along with a dozen other junkies and evicted HUD-ites).
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Do you have a recipe for Sally Surprise or Bed Bug Delight?
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TUCSON-STYLE HOBO STEW
Authentic Arizona Bum Food!
1 8 ounce bag of Great Northern beans- from the Food Bank
4 slices of baloney, torn up into little pieces - from the Sally soup kitchen
1 package vegetable flavored ramen noodles - free at the Food Bank, or 21 cents at the Dollar Store
Salt, pepper, and hot sauce to taste- from the condiments station at Taco Bell
OPTIONAL: Onions scraped from 3 hamburgers- from the Dumpster behind Mickey D's - Accept no substitutes, because every hobo knows McD's onions never spoil
1. In a large coffee can, soak the beans overnight with one packet of salt. Cover the can with your clean pair of underpants, to keep the bedbugs out.
2. In the morning, remove your underpants from the can.
3. Add the flavor packet from the ramen noodles and the baloney. Add the onions if you were able to find enough hamburgers in the Dumpster behind Mickey D's.
4. Cook for 4 hours over a fire made from Chad's earthly possessions and Dave's love letters to that skank you saw him with two days ago. We know you took them while Dave was at his appointment at the VA yesterday.
5. Stir in the ramen noodles, add a splash of whatever alcohol you can get your hands on. Boil for 5 minutes.
6. Season with salt, pepper, and hot sauce packets.
7. Serve with the buns from the McD hamburgers. Eat with a spork you took from the condiment station at Taco Bell.
This sounds pretty good.
Would using fresh(er) ingredients spoil the delicate balance of the various flavors, and does it HAVE to be Taco Bell, McD's, food bank, and Salvation Army ingredients?
IOW, could I substitute Burger King, Wendy's, chinese resturant, Shoney's, church pantry, or soup kitchen ingredients for the ones you listed?
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Do you have a recipe for Sally Surprise or Bed Bug Delight?
Bed Bug Delight. :rofl:
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Do you have a recipe for Sally Surprise or Bed Bug Delight?
Great ideas! I think I can do something.
:-)
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Do you have a recipe for Sally Surprise or Bed Bug Delight?
Be careful if a DUmmie offers you "Cracked Grab Legs".
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Be careful if a DUmmie offers you "Cracked Grab Legs".
Or maybe some "She Lice Soup".
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This sounds pretty good.
Would using fresh(er) ingredients spoil the delicate balance of the various flavors, and does it HAVE to be Taco Bell, McD's, food bank, and Salvation Army ingredients?
IOW, could I substitute Burger King, Wendy's, chinese resturant, Shoney's, church pantry, or soup kitchen ingredients for the ones you listed?
Improvise. It's the hobo way!
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Or maybe some "She Lice Soup".
Yeah, may sound like a Chinese dish...you know...and with Chinese accent "Flied Lice".
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From the files of the Tucson Salvation Army...
BED BUG DELIGHT
(Mocha Rice Pudding)
2 cups uncooked white rice
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 cups whole milk
3 tsp real vanilla extract
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 tbsp instant coffee
1 cup mini chocolate chips
1. In a cast iron Dutch oven, bring rice, sugar, salt, and milk to a boil over medium-high.
2. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 25 minutes.
3. Uncover and cook, stirring constantly, until rice is tender and pudding is creamy, about 5 minutes.
4. Stir in vanilla.
5. Press plastic wrap directly on surface to prevent a skin from forming.
6. Refrigerate until chilled, at least 2 hours.
7. Stir in heavy cream, coffee, and chocolate chips.
Serve with coffee.
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Serve with coffee.
About that coffee...
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=G2DCExerOsA[/youtube]
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This sounds pretty good.
Would using fresh(er) ingredients spoil the delicate balance of the various flavors, and does it HAVE to be Taco Bell, McD's, food bank, and Salvation Army ingredients?
IOW, could I substitute Burger King, Wendy's, chinese resturant, Shoney's, church pantry, or soup kitchen ingredients for the ones you listed?
What about some dumpster diving behind a market?
What about some south-west chili. Soak the beans with a chopped up package of spicy beef jerky from the convenient store and those taco bell sauce and McD's ketchup packs.
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What about some dumpster diving behind a market?
What about some south-west chili. Soak the beans with a chopped up package of spicy beef jerky from the convenient store and those taco bell sauce and McD's ketchup packs.
Do you throw the packs in the mix to give it more "body"?
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Do you throw the packs in the mix to give it more "body"?
Nope. You should save the packs and melt them together so that you can sous vide your chili.
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About that coffee...
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=G2DCExerOsA[/youtube]
"Bibble".
:-)
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:lmao: The Tucson Hobo Stew was hilarious!
I'd have brandy with the Bedbug Delight. Or, in keeping with the spirit, some Mad Dog.
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Do you throw the packs in the mix to give it more "body"?
No, I don't think that would be very edible. But the desert has to be full of "freebies". Rattle snakes, scorpions, cactus, lots of mesquite beans for grinding into flour or the wood for smoking meats.
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CODE PINK
When you absolutely, positively must wash the Truth Out of your brain.
16 ounces McCormick brand vodka
8 ounces breast milk (may substitute half-and-half if the wet nurse is on vacation)
6 tablespoons strawberry Quik
Mix all ingredients. Serve in a frosted Bukowski's commemorative mug.
WARNING: Do not drive, operate heavy machinery, or post on the Internet after consuming. May cause mood swings, memory loss, and delusions about the Iraq War. May cause irresistible attraction to 13 year old schoolgirls, which may cause loss of employment. May cause hair loss. Repeated use may cause impotence, which may lead to impotent rage. See your doctor if you develop homicidal intent against homeless women after consuming. If you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, check again- that's your mother's favorite dildo, and she'll want it back.
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What about some dumpster diving behind a market?
What about some south-west chili. Soak the beans with a chopped up package of spicy beef jerky from the convenient store and those taco bell sauce and McD's ketchup packs.
That's a great idea! Make it happen, Dori.
The beef jerky must be shoplifted, of course.
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That's a great idea! Make it happen, Dori.
The beef jerky must be shoplifted, of course.
Yankee Shit or something.
2 packs of Ramen noodles.
One left over cooked chicken from the store.
What ever is in the freezer for frozen vegetables,
One can bean sprouts.
Shred up cooked chicken in a pot, add the frozen vegetables and drained sprouts and sprinkle over the lot with the seasoning packets from the noodle packs.
Take 4 cups of water to that you add soy sauce and a bit of Sesame oil to it and at very low simmer allow to cook for an hour or so. Remove from heat an allow to cool and refrigerate for a few hours.
Take a pot and boil water and place in the noodles for 2 minutes, drain and add the noodles to the vegetables and chicken, reheat and serve.
Cheap and filling, uses up the frozen packs in the refrigerator and cannot harm you.
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Yankee Shit or something.
vesta,
The theme here is "DUmpmonkey inspired recipes". Which member of the Democrat Underground inspired your recipe?
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Do DUmmies ever go on pick nits?
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I'd have brandy with the Bedbug Delight.
I think brandy is an excellent choice.
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Do DUmmies ever go on pick nits?
I thought it was nit picks?
Improvise. It's the hobo way!
I was trying to be pretentious, like the Dummiesnobery are about their $100 crock pot dinners for one that the cat won't eat! :rotf:
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From the files of the Tucson Salvation Army...
SALLY SURPRISE
It'll make you ask, "Has anybody seen Chad lately?"
2 racks pork shortribs, cut into 3 rib pieces
3 large cans concentrated cream of mushroom soup
1 can Pillsbury "Grands" flaky biscuits
Egg noodles
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2. Place the ribs in a single layer in a large baking dish
3. Cover completely with cream of mushroom soup
4. Bake for 45 minutes, remove from oven
5. Place biscuits on top of the pan
6. Bake for 10-12 minutes, until biscuits are golden brown
7. Serve with egg noodles (if you don't know how to boil egg noodles, I can't help you)
The surprise? When the first person at your table dips the ladle into the pan and pulls out ribs. It's like a little bit of Criminal Minds in your own home!
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From the files of the Tucson Salvation Army...
BED BUG DELIGHT
(Mocha Rice Pudding)
\ :cheersmate:
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Dang, Big Dog...you do have your creative juices flowing...Great work on those recipes.
HI-5
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Dang, Big Dog...you do have your creative juices flowing...Great work on those recipes.
HI-5
I know, he's making me hungry :drool:
I might have to try a couple myself.
I just won't tell the boss (aka, "she who shall be obeyed") what their "real" names are. :lmao:
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I know, he's making me hungry :drool:
I might have to try a couple myself.
I just won't tell the boss (aka, "she who shall be obeyed") what their "real" names are. :lmao:
I agree with you--somehow, I don't think that a serving iof "Bed Bug Delight" would be all that appealing, even if bacon was in it.
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I agree with you--somehow, I don't think that a serving iof "Bed Bug Delight" would be all that appealing, even if bacon was in it.
The chocolate chips would be plenty enough enticement for the misses, but "Bed Bug Delight" would be hard to overlook.
Maybe AFTER supper... :bolt:
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LENTIL LOAF
1 lb dry lentils
1 qt water
1 lb ground dry corn
1 cup corn oil
1 cup salt
1. Boil lentils and salt in water until it reaches the consistency of fresh concrete.
2. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Grease a loaf pan with vegetable shortening.
3. Combine salted lentils with corn and oil. Pour into loaf pan.
4. Bake for 2 hours, until the loaf is hard. Remove from oven and cool completely.
5. Place loaf in your back yard. Wait for deer or wild turkeys to come into your yard to lick the loaf.
6. Shoot the deer or turkey. Prepare your favorite way. Eat.
NOTE: Baiting game may be illegal in your state. Don't get caught.
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LENTIL LOAF
1 lb dry lentils
1 qt water
1 lb ground dry corn
1 cup corn oil
1 cup salt
1. Boil lentils and salt in water until it reaches the consistency of fresh concrete.
2. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Grease a loaf pan with vegetable shortening.
3. Combine salted lentils with corn and oil. Pour into loaf pan.
4. Bake for 2 hours, until the loaf is hard. Remove from oven and cool completely.
5. Place loaf in your back yard. Wait for deer or wild turkeys to come into your yard to lick the loaf.
6. Shoot the deer or turkey. Prepare your favorite way. Eat.
NOTE: Baiting game may be illegal in your state. Don't get caught.
:lol:
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LITTLE MAN IN THE BOAT
1 pkg Little Smokies smoked sausage
2 boxes Jiffy Corn Muffin mix
2 eggs
2/3 cup milk
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Place muffin cups in 2 muffin tins. (12 muffins).
3. Mix muffin mix, eggs, and milk until batter is mixed, but still lumpy.
4. Spoon muffin batter into muffin cups, filling each cup 2/3 full.
5. Place a smoked sausage in each cup, on top of the batter. The sausage will sink in about halfway.
6. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until muffin is golden brown.
7. Serve with honey mustard.
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Amber's latest adventure inspires...
RESERVATION DOGS
(Foot long pigs in blankets)
8- foot long beef hot dogs
8 slices American cheese
2 packages Pillsbury Crescent Recipe Creation Sheets
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Spray a cookie sheet with a light coating of cooking oil spray.
3. Unroll a sheet of Crescent dough onto a cutting board.
4. Place a piece of cheese on the sheet of dough, centered against the cut end.
5. Roll a hot dog in the sheet of dough until the hot dog is completely wrapped. Cut the dough 1/2 inch past the point where the dough meets itself.
6. Press the edge of the dough and seal the edge. Twist and seal the ends of the dough.
7. Place the roll on the cookie sheet. Repeat with the rest of the hot dogs, placing 1 inch apart on the cookie sheet.
8. Bake 14 to 17 minutes, until wraps are golden brown.
9. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
10 Serve with your favorite toppings.
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Amber's latest adventure inspires...
RESERVATION DOGS
(Foot long pigs in blankets)
8- foot long beef hot dogs
8 slices American cheese
2 packages Pillsbury Crescent Recipe Creation Sheets
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Spray a cookie sheet with a light coating of cooking oil spray.
3. Unroll a sheet of Crescent dough onto a cutting board.
4. Place a piece of cheese on the sheet of dough, centered against the cut end.
5. Roll a hot dog in the sheet of dough until the hot dog is completely wrapped. Cut the dough 1/2 inch past the point where the dough meets itself.
6. Press the edge of the dough and seal the edge. Twist and seal the ends of the dough.
7. Place the roll on the cookie sheet. Repeat with the rest of the hot dogs, placing 1 inch apart on the cookie sheet.
8. Bake 14 to 17 minutes, until wraps are golden brown.
9. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
10 Serve with your favorite toppings.
Dang that sounds good
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A old New England recipe? Vermontese Earwig soup? :-)
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A old New England recipe? Vermontese Earwig soup? :-)
Ask and you shall receive...
EARWIG SOUP
(Tomato Corn Soup with Shrimp Dumpings)
1 large can chopped or diced tomatoes
48 ounces V-8 vegetable juice
1 12-ounce bag frozen corn
1 8 oz bag frozen cocktail shrimp
2 1/2 cups Jiffy biscuit mix
1/3 cup milk
1 tsp Old Bay seafood seasoning
1/2 tsp salt
1. Combine tomatoes, juice, and salt in soup pot. Over medium heat, bring to boil.
2. Stir in corn, return to boil.
3. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, simmer for 10 minutes.
4. Thaw shrimp under running cold water.
5. In a mixing bowl, combine biscuit mix, milk, and Old Bay. Mix together until dough is lumpy.
6. Add shrimp to batter, stir together gently.
7. Spoon dough onto top of soup. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes. DO NOT REMOVE LID.
8. Uncover and simmer for 5 minutes.
9. Serve with crusty bread and cheese.
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LENTIL LOAF
1 lb dry lentils
1 qt water
1 lb ground dry corn
1 cup corn oil
1 cup salt
1. Boil lentils and salt in water until it reaches the consistency of fresh concrete.
2. Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Grease a loaf pan with vegetable shortening.
3. Combine salted lentils with corn and oil. Pour into loaf pan.
4. Bake for 2 hours, until the loaf is hard. Remove from oven and cool completely.
5. Place loaf in your back yard. Wait for deer or wild turkeys to come into your yard to lick the loaf.
6. Shoot the deer or turkey. Prepare your favorite way. Eat.
NOTE: Baiting game may be illegal in your state. Don't get caught.
Don't even have to do that. They run around the yard without being baited. Oy.