Let's see . . . what would be an appropriate retirement gift? 
I've got an idea or two, but I'd love to hear other suggestions. 
If I were to heading towards Bellevue, NE for Thanksgiving, I would anonymously give Steve the Stout a lit bag of dogshit on his front stoop.
I noticed that he was able to squeeze in one last paid holiday, Thursday, 28 NOV, before retiring to his deathbed.