Loss of Gravity DUmmy worried about random drug test 'tomorrow'.

[DLR Pyro]

Gravitycollapse (4,837 posts)
8. It came back negative. Thank God.

I'm sure this Dummy thinks he's in the clear and smoke a few bowls this weekend to celebrate.  It would be poetic justice is the results of his test were "lost" and he had to re-test next week.

[Purple Sage]

Here's how you cheat the piss test, the night before the test you smoke as much pot as you can possibly smoke, the THC levels in your body will be so high that a false negative result will come back.

Would that the idiot would do so, if he really is about to be tested.   :  ^5

[DumbAss Tanker]

One joint will stay detectable in the average system about one week IIRC.

Heavy/chronic usage will remain detectable for a month in a piss test.  If he'd done coke or acid two days or more ago, he'd be home free.

Of course, the drug test might be a hair sample test instead of a piss test, which will give a much more complete idea of the DUmmie's favorite intoxicants in recent weeks...

 

[JohnnyReb]

Takes me back a few years to a guy I used to know. He got a truck driving job, 200 mile run each night delivering COCA-COLA products to the same warehouse. Started on a Monday running double to learn the job and route. He was given 3 days training and Thursday night was to be his first trip alone.

That Thursday night he came into the bar/restaurant where I sometimes ate and ordered a beer. I asked if he was going to get drunk before he made his run. He said he had lost that job and when I asked what happened to it he simply said, "I pissed it away"....he had snorted some cocaine that previous Monday night and before they turned him loose to drive on Thursday he had to pee in a bottle.....so he had "pissed" that job away.

[Dori]

I'm sure this Dummy thinks he's in the clear and smoke a few bowls this weekend to celebrate.  It would be poetic justice is the results of his test were "lost" and he had to re-test next week.

Speaking of smoking stuff, a couple of days ago there was a DUmp thread about heating up pans with LCD temp read outs, packing the bowl with herbs and using some kind of vaporizer.

Anyone know what that's all about?

[DumbAss Tanker]

Military urinalysis started in 1981, IIRC.  I enlisted in 1984, and remember whizzing in the bottle when I got to Great Mistakes, and innumerable times thereafter.  None of this, "Hey, in three days" crap.  You showed up, the Chief said, "The magic number today is, "X" so YOU, Sparky, will provide before you leave the boat," etc.

I can only speak for the Army, but it was doing that from the time I enlisted in 1975 onward.  The program and the regulation governing it went through several mutations over the years, mostly with a eye to improving the chain of custody and eliminating the opportunity to swap something for the sample or add anything to it.

[GOBUCKS]

I'm sure this Dummy thinks he's in the clear and smoke a few bowls this weekend to celebrate.  It would be poetic justice is the results of his test were "lost" and he had to re-test next week.

If they're going to announce testing in advance this would be the way to go. Test, wait a day or two while the DUmmy celebrates, then test again.

Sort of like drones blowing up muzzies, waiting for more muzzies to come help the first batch, then blowing them up.

[dane]

The words, Go smoke a roap come from the old time Navy, sort of liking cat nip, makes one woozy and sick

'Some say' that years ago one could get high from smoking hemp rope, but it wasn't limited to the "...old time Navy...", inasmuch as hemp was widely used.

With chemical manipulation in the manufacturing process, smoking rope is no longer mind altering, just dumb.

[fatboy]

Gravity collapse is the DUmmy that had a breakdown at work a week ago.  Coincidence?  I think not.  They're now looking for a way to boot his sorry azz. 

He works part time at a company where all of the workers are on food stamps. He cannot pay his bills, can't afford his meds., and he doesn't have reliable transportation.

But he can keep a supply quality weed on hand for those good times.

[BlueStateSaint]

I can only speak for the Army, but it was doing that from the time I enlisted in 1975 onward.  The program and the regulation governing it went through several mutations over the years, mostly with a eye to improving the chain of custody and eliminating the opportunity to swap something for the sample or add anything to it.

I had a guy, who had been a good soldier, snort cocaine which had been provided by the drug control NCO  of the HHT (Headquarters & Headquarters Troop for GOBUCKS).  When his name came up for the piss test, said drug control NCO allowed said Spec4 to dip the cup into the urinal.  Gas chromatography picked up the chlorine (because of chloroform present in the water), it was listed as a 'real positive,' and he lost a stripe over it.  The drug control NCO wound up getting caught selling a tiny amount of coke to an undercover CID agent, and spent the next 10 years in Kansas.

[67 Rover]

Heavy/chronic usage will remain detectable for a month in a piss test.  If he'd done coke or acid two days or more ago, he'd be home free.

Of course, the drug test might be a hair sample test instead of a piss test, which will give a much more complete idea of the DUmmie's favorite intoxicants in recent weeks...

 

At Northrop corp. depending on the level of your clearance hair or fat removed from your ass would give a good indication of drug use months before.

I had this done numerous times in the late 80's and I cannot recall anyone failing, then again we took our work seriously.

[wasp69]

Tue Jan 21, 2014, 10:20 PM
Gravitycollapse (4,748 posts)

I cried at work today...
First time ever.

Then I was late for work because I had to borrow my roommate's bicycle. Then I was written up for being late.

I basically had an emotional break down in front of my managers. They looked horrified and apologized profusely and gave me free cigarettes and a long break.

[GOBUCKS]

I had a guy, who had been a good soldier, snort cocaine which had been provided by the drug control NCO  of the HHT (Headquarters & Headquarters Troop for GOBUCKS). 

Well, I hope the HHT and the RCC sent their TTP forms up the chain of command to the CVO. If not, the RBP would catch them and they'd spend their MMD in the worst EMR you can imagine. Most folks would think WTF to the LS/MFT.

[Skul]

I did a quick check of that thread.
Nothing.  I mean...nothing.
If the grabbitydrop primitive had been tested, he'd be all over his victory over teh man.
Had s/h/it, not been tested, I would expect some sort of response anyway.

Time for a GBCW watch. 

[franksolich]

Well, I hope the HHT and the RCC sent their TTP forms up the chain of command to the CVO. If not, the RBP would catch them and they'd spend their MMD in the worst EMR you can imagine. Most folks would think WTF to the LS/MFT.

Oh, but you're not the only one here who has a problem with all these strange acronyms.

<<<had a fifth-grade teacher who insisted people who used acronyms rather than spelling things out, were lazy.

<<<tends to not be lazy.

[Chris_]

Oh, but you're not the only one here who has a problem with all these strange acronyms.

<<<had a fifth-grade teacher who insisted people who used acronyms rather than spelling things out, were lazy.

<<<tends to not be lazy.

I work with a bunch of Indians (dot not feather) that insist on using acronyms at all possible occasions.  It's intolerable.

[GOBUCKS]

I work with a bunch of Indians (dot not feather) that insist on using acronyms at all possible occasions.  It's intolerable.

Acronyms are fine for efficient communications between Houston and an orbiter.

At most other places, unless they're something common like FBI or CIA or DUI, they don't work so well.

I saw "HHT", an acronym I've never seen anyplace, ever, and I'm like "WTF?"

[Skul]

This ain't gonna end well. 

[Chris_]

I work in IT, which naturally lends itself to acronym overuse.  It's getting ridiculous.  But then I hear some current/former military people here and I sit back and think I've got it pretty easy.

[Freeper]

I had a guy, who had been a good soldier, snort cocaine which had been provided by the drug control NCO  of the HHT (Headquarters & Headquarters Troop for GOBUCKS).  When his name came up for the piss test, said drug control NCO allowed said Spec4 to dip the cup into the urinal.  Gas chromatography picked up the chlorine (because of chloroform present in the water), it was listed as a 'real positive,' and he lost a stripe over it.  The drug control NCO wound up getting caught selling a tiny amount of coke to an undercover CID agent, and spent the next 10 years in Kansas.

You must have been cav.

[Dori]

I saw "HHT", an acronym I've never seen anyplace, ever, and I'm like "WTF?"

Headquarters and Headquarters Troop in the U.S. Army

[Skul]

You must have been cav.

This probably ain't gonna end up well, either. 

[BlueStateSaint]

You must have been cav.

Roger that--I was the Squadron Signal Officer of 2/3 ACR.  Many moons ago.

[Freeper]

Roger that--I was the Squadron Signal Officer of 2/3 ACR.  Many moons ago.

I was cav my entire career, 5/17, 6th cav, and 1/10 cav.

[BlueStateSaint]

I was cav my entire career, 5/17, 6th cav, and 1/10 cav.

Before my stint with the Brave Rifles, I was the Squadron Signal Officer of 1/2 ACR.  There was a five-month 'interlude' for recuperation from an auto crash, non-alcohol related.