Loss of Gravity DUmmy worried about random drug test 'tomorrow'.

[dane]

One wonders, if he is scheduled for a test tomorrow, how can it be random?  But, anyway

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018564400
Gravitycollapse (4,811 posts)
Red Alert: I may be submitted to a random drug test tomorrow at work.
 I haven't smoked in about 2 weeks. But I'm worried. Will they fire me if I fail?

Numerous suggestions as to how such a test can be foiled, but not a single DUmmy has said anything about not putting substances in the body that are/might be prohibited by the employer and/or the legal system.  

[98ZJUSMC]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018564400
Gravitycollapse (4,811 posts)
Red Alert: I may be submitted to a random drug test tomorrow at work.
 I haven't smoked in about 2 weeks. But I'm worried. Will they fire me if I fail?

Sucks to be you.  Roll them numbers and takes yer chances.

Actions?  Consequences? 

[HawkHogan]

Sucks to be you.  Roll them numbers and takes yer chances.

Actions?  Consequences? 

Dummies live the most simple lives.. all they need is weed, abortions, and homosexuality. 

[thundley4]

My employer gives a mandatory 3 days off with no pay, and you have to complete a substance abuse program at your own cost. On top of that, you are tested once a month for six months, and you have to pay half of the costs for those tests.  After that, your name will pop up more often on the random test list.

I always look forward to being tested, because it's an hour long break from work since the testing place is offsite. 

[dutch508]

My employer gives a mandatory 3 days off with no pay, and you have to complete a substance abuse program at your own cost. On top of that, you are tested once a month for six months, and you have to pay half of the costs for those tests.  After that, your name will pop up more often on the random test list.

I always look forward to being tested, because it's an hour long break from work since the testing place is offsite. 

We started doing random drug tests in about 1986, if I remember correctly. Did them every month til I retired in 2011. I was never worried about coming up hot.

[BadCat]

My employer gives a mandatory 3 days off with no pay, and you have to complete a substance abuse program at your own cost. On top of that, you are tested once a month for six months, and you have to pay half of the costs for those tests.  After that, your name will pop up more often on the random test list.

I always look forward to being tested, because it's an hour long break from work since the testing place is offsite. 

My job, they will have an armed guard walk you off the premises.

[Vagabond]

Are the DUmmies aware that when they have their "accident", they will be tested and if they come up hot, their claim will be denied?

[DUmpsterDiver]

Dummies live the most simple lives.. all they need is weed, abortions, and homosexuality. 

You forgot to mention "Other Peoples Money."

[thundley4]

Are the DUmmies aware that when they have their "accident", they will be tested and if they come up hot, their claim will be denied?

That's another trigger for getting a drug test where I work. Be involved in an incident that causes injury or property damage and you win a free drug test.  They take it to the extreme that even if you get something in your eye, you get tested if it requires going to see a doctor.

[marv]

Gravitycollapse (4,811 posts)
Red Alert: I may be submitted to a random drug test tomorrow at work.
 I haven't smoked in about 2 weeks. But I'm worried. Will they fire me if I fail?

One joint will stay detectable in the average system about one week IIRC.

[GOBUCKS]

He's a DUmpmonkey.

They'll jump at the chance to can his ass.

Tue Jan 21, 2014, 10:20 PM
Gravitycollapse (4,748 posts)

I cried at work today...
First time ever.

Then I was late for work because I had to borrow my roommate's bicycle. Then I was written up for being late.

I basically had an emotional break down in front of my managers. They looked horrified and apologized profusely and gave me free cigarettes and a long break.

But what does he care? He hates his job anyway.
And it's not like he'd be hard to replace.

Fri Jul 12, 2013, 03:43 PM
Gravitycollapse (2,122 posts)

I work somewhere that pays just above minimum wage and everyone's on food stamps...

[NHSparky]

We started doing random drug tests in about 1986, if I remember correctly. Did them every month til I retired in 2011. I was never worried about coming up hot.

Military urinalysis started in 1981, IIRC.  I enlisted in 1984, and remember whizzing in the bottle when I got to Great Mistakes, and innumerable times thereafter.  None of this, "Hey, in three days" crap.  You showed up, the Chief said, "The magic number today is, "X" so YOU, Sparky, will provide before you leave the boat," etc.

Then I left the Navy and every job I've had has had drug testing as a condition of employment.  My last job, if I didn't supply (ON SITE) within two hours, that was considered a refusal to provide and you were fired.  Period.  A positive test was a termination, although you could in theory reapply in five years, although it was all but certain you'd never get hired at any nuclear plant anywhere again.

To paraphrase a certain guy, "You don't want to piss hot?  STOP TAKING DRUGS, ASSHOLE!"

[NHSparky]

One joint will stay detectable in the average system about one week IIRC.

Unless they're a frequent user and a bit on the "heavy" side.  THC is fat-soluble and can remain at detectable levels for up to 30 days.

[delilahmused]

Maybe he should just go on welfare or unemployment. Depending on where you live welfare pays more than working anyway and there are no random drug tests. People that pay for them to sponge off the government have to take them but the moochers don't. It would be racist, dontcha know.

Cindie

[DLR Pyro]

But what does he care? He hates his job anyway.
And it's not like he'd be hard to replace.

he sounds like a supervisor's nightmare.  I'll bet they will be glad when he pisses positive so they can get rid of his DUmbass.

[DLR Pyro]

Gravitycollapse (4,811 posts)
Red Alert: I may be submitted to a random drug test tomorrow at work.

If I were you DUmmy, I'd stay up all night and study for the test tomorrow.

[fatboy]

If I were you DUmmy, I'd stay up all night and study for the test tomorrow.

And walk at a brisk pace or run 10 miles without stopping.

[fatboy]

I think G Collapse has real DOTY potential for the future. As Douglas would say "I think I should keep an eye on him".

[DLR Pyro]

Military urinalysis started in 1981, IIRC.  I enlisted in 1984, and remember whizzing in the bottle when I got to Great Mistakes, and innumerable times thereafter.  None of this, "Hey, in three days" crap.  You showed up, the Chief said, "The magic number today is, "X" so YOU, Sparky, will provide before you leave the boat," etc.

Then I left the Navy and every job I've had has had drug testing as a condition of employment.  My last job, if I didn't supply (ON SITE) within two hours, that was considered a refusal to provide and you were fired.  Period.  A positive test was a termination, although you could in theory reapply in five years, although it was all but certain you'd never get hired at any nuclear plant anywhere again.

To paraphrase a certain guy, "You don't want to piss hot?  STOP TAKING DRUGS, ASSHOLE!"

When I was in the USAF they called it operation golden flow and they would pull people at random off the flight line and send them directly to the base hospital for a test.  I remember one time we lost a few guys because of this.  The never returned to the flight line and could be seen around the base for several months mowing lawns and raking leaves until their discharge paperwork was processed.

[Purple Sage]

One wonders, if he is scheduled for a test tomorrow, how can it be random?  But, anyway
Numerous suggestions as to how such a test can be foiled, but not a single DUmmy has said anything about not putting substances in the body that are/might be prohibited by the employer and/or the legal system.  

Gravity collapse is the DUmmy that had a breakdown at work a week ago.  Coincidence?  I think not.  They're now looking for a way to boot his sorry azz. 

[FiddyBeowulf]

Star Member rug (55,551 posts)
1. Call in sick.

Gravitycollapse (4,837 posts)
2. For a number of reasons I cannot do that.

I'm going to buy an at-home piss test right now.

Gravitycollapse (4,837 posts)
8. It came back negative. Thank God.

I did not know one could buy an at-home drug test. My guess is the DUmmie was high and bought a home pregnancy by mistake. On the plus side, at least we know GC is not pregnant.

[Karin]

This phrase:

...and gave me free cigarettes and a long break.

is such a perfect DUmmie phrase.  

Insurance companies require businesses to do random drug tests.  I don't know how Colorado is handling this, with all the potheads now.    

[vesta111]

Military urinalysis started in 1981, IIRC.  I enlisted in 1984, and remember whizzing in the bottle when I got to Great Mistakes, and innumerable times thereafter.  None of this, "Hey, in three days" crap.  You showed up, the Chief said, "The magic number today is, "X" so YOU, Sparky, will provide before you leave the boat," etc.

Then I left the Navy and every job I've had has had drug testing as a condition of employment.  My last job, if I didn't supply (ON SITE) within two hours, that was considered a refusal to provide and you were fired.  Period.  A positive test was a termination, although you could in theory reapply in five years, although it was all but certain you'd never get hired at any nuclear plant anywhere again.

To paraphrase a certain guy, "You don't want to piss hot?  STOP TAKING DRUGS, ASSHOLE!"

Sparky, I believe it was in 1981 a start up operation and the mistakes were carear ending.

In just a few months after the piss tests started, a good 40+ of Mormon sailors were given the bum's rush and these kids did not even eat chocolate or drink coffee.    False positives.

I at the time was doing rip outs and lagging on military ships and for sure the smell of pot was everywhere, from the gang plank to the bilges. 

On one ship, I believe it was a good 40 feet from the deck to the engine room.    Ladder straight up for access from the top.    OOH OOH that smell, by the time I climbed slowly to the deck I was in a very good mood and have little memory of the job I did on that ship.

The words, Go smoke a roap come from the old time Navy, sort of liking cat nip, makes one woozy and sick.

Sailor have not changed in 2,000 years, got to keep a close eye on them when your port is next of call. -------Never let a Sailor an inch above your knee.
 

[Freeper]

Here's how you cheat the piss test, the night before the test you smoke as much pot as you can possibly smoke, the THC levels in your body will be so high that a false negative result will come back.

[Purple Sage]

I'm a little suspicious of gravity dummie's piss test.  Back in the good ol' days when I only had to work from 9 to 5, companies didn't give one advanced notice of piss tests due to all the "cleansers" that were sold that one could take that supposedly covers up the THC levels.  Unless beating the test is no longer an issue, why would they give him advance notice?

I'm thinking yet another ploy for attention after gravity's whining "down in the dump post" of a week ago.