Those cheap ones have not spent a red cent on a certificate, let alone a proper trophy...don't even dream of the awards winner.
Nadin, Nadin, Nadin. . . . This whining does not become you. Really.
Look, the annual DOTY Awards ceremony did start out as a modest affair, true:
But over time it has grown significantly, to the lavish blow-out soirée it is today:
And the prizes have grown accordingly. This year, for example, the winner will be awarded the much-coveted DOTY Belt, which he or she will be able to wear proudly all year.
What a grand moment it will be when the judges place the DOTY Belt around your waist (and nether regions), snugly strapping you in:
And of course, the DOTY Belt will be adorned with the eye-catching "Team DOTY" Belt Buckle:
But wait! That's not all! This year the winner of DOTY 2013 will be whisked away to the fun-and-sun capital of the Midwest--that's right, the fabulous Nebraska Sandhills--for an exciting week-long vacation, all-expenses paid, hosted by our own franksolich! (The runner-up will have to go for two weeks.)
So don't think we're doing this thing on the cheap. No, no. We're pulling out all the stops.
But you better put the medal to the petal, Nadin, if you think you've got a shot for DUmmie Of The Year
this year. You can't just rest on your florals. IMO, Bulna has a huge lead at this point. Get with it, sister!