Loconuts has posted about CC before, so I know he reads here.
Loco, most of us here would root for you, if you tried. The thing is you don't. It's 2013. I have to assume you have some interest in life that doesn't involve either wanking off to German porn or whining on DU. The internet is just crawling with people that want to link up with other people with similar interests. Are all of these people going to be your friends? No, but at least you would get the chance to meet them.
Two things, though. No politics, find something that is apolitical and keep your trap shut about politics, most people don't really care. Also, don't go out acting like a sniveling needy little douchebag, though I think I may as well say, don't act like yourself, but you can at least try.
Wha city does he live near?