the William Rivers Pitt award, the “Willie,†for the most-memorable primitive from any time since the founding of Skins’s island on January 20, 2001. Primitives who’ve already won the Willie in the past are not eligible for nomination and election; it’s a one-time-only award. The primitives not eligible are TomInTib, William Pitt, BouncyBall, nadinbrzezinski, and Alan Grayson. Perhaps the easiest way to decide upon a candidate for this award, one could imagine a Mount Rushmore of the Greatest Primitives, Ever, being sculpted on the side of a mountain in Vermont--which four heads should be on there, and which one should occupy the position of George Washington as on the real Mount Rushmore?
Definitely the already-awarded WilliamPitt, nadinbrzezinski, and TomInTib (in his many guises) would be on my Mount Rushmore of DUmmieland as being among the most memorable DUmmies ever. If I had to pick a few others who have not yet won the Willie, they would be, and so I nominate:
Andy Stephenson: The late lamented red round one, the center of the maelstrom that rocked the internet!
sfexpat2000/EFerrari: So prominent for so long, and then . . . so long!
bobbolink: Bobo the Hobo, posting from her home in the back of a Buick. Winning the Willie would be sweet revenge!
benburch: The butt of so many jokes!
They all would be deserving first-ballot inductees into the DUmmieland Hall of Fame.
the Steven Dawes award, the “Steve,†for the primitive who proved his own worst enemy during 2013; usually, this means a primitive who wallduded himself, getting himself fired from a job because of comments made on Skins’s island. . . .
DainBramaged. Hands down. No contest. No one else is remotely close.
the Robyn McGrath award, the “Rob,†for the primitive who, simply put, one found funny during the past year, provoking the most merriment and mirth. . . .
SidDithers, the funniest of Nadin's bullies.
the Nadin Abbott award, the “Nadin,†for the primitive who exhibited the most “I am Godâ€-like characteristics during 2013; the primitive who was never wrong, always right.
Is this the inaugural award? Then I would give it to Know-it-all Nadin herself, nadinbrzezinski.