I AM PISSED! I am a new hire and thought I was the only one. To add insult to injury, I only get $35 and have to make 10,000 posts to get my bonus! Consequently, I've created so damned many moles, my brain bleeds trying to keep them all straight. Figures that the bastards would pay a man more than a woman.
How many more of us are there? You know what would be funny? Maybe Mr. ForeSkin is the only REAL DUmmie there.
I guess it doesn't matter as long as it keeps me in the 3%. The money is ALL I give a damn about anyway.
EDIT: I forgot to ask… this IS one of the super secret forums isn't it, like the DUmmy dossier forum? Or did I post into the wrong forum again?
You're not being paid less because you're a woman. We are a
true equal opportunity employer- strictly merit based. You're still on probation. After 6 months we'll review your performance.
The performance standard for moling is based on quality, not quantity. Don't worry about maintaining a large stable of moles; one to three is perfectly acceptable.
All new hires are immediately eligible for the 50% discount at the employee cafeteria (known to the rest of the world as "Ruth's Chris Steak House"), 15% off all purchases at the company store (known to the rest of the world as "Amazon.com"), and a complimentary copy of the Mark Levin book of your choice.
After 6 months, you will be eligible for free NRA membership, reimbursement for one new laptop or smart phone per year, and use of the blimp on weekends. And our Christmas bonuses are to die for... have you ever asked yourself why so many DUmmies vanish in December?
See the Employee Handbook or contact HR if you have any questions.