Now that you have 100 posts, we can tell you The Way of the Conservative Cave.
There are four things in life which we hold to be above all of life's other pleasures:
1. Bacon
2. Boobiez (the spelling is important)
3. Pie
4. Beer
You must decide your own order of precedence, but you may not substitute any item on the list.
You'll learn the secret handshake later.