« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?  (Read 9288 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mamacags

  • Smells like teen spirit
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4281
  • Reputation: +444/-113
  • Little Miss Cranky Pants
How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« on: May 22, 2008, 10:52:44 PM »
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Logged
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

Offline Schadenfreude

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8388
  • Reputation: +475/-78
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2008, 10:54:27 PM »
I have no advice but I am  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Logged
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline Rebel

  • MAGA
  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16934
  • Reputation: +1384/-215
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 11:05:04 PM »
Shoot the dog.


Hey, you asked.  :-)
Logged
NAMBLA is a left-wing organization.

Quote
There's a reason why patriotism is considered a conservative value. Watch a Tea Party rally and you'll see people proudly raising the American flag and showing pride in U.S. heroes such as Thomas Jefferson. Watch an OWS rally and you'll see people burning the American flag while showing pride in communist heroes such as Che Guevera. --Bob, from some news site

Offline Lord Undies

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11388
  • Reputation: +639/-250
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2008, 11:06:11 PM »
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  
Logged

Offline Schadenfreude

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8388
  • Reputation: +475/-78
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2008, 11:11:45 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on May 22, 2008, 11:06:11 PM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  

Oh dear, the visual is just too ... much.  :evillaugh:
Logged
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline RobJohnson

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8876
  • Reputation: +333/-109
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2008, 11:22:32 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on May 22, 2008, 11:06:11 PM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  

Did you post the youtube link yet?
Logged

Offline mamacags

  • Smells like teen spirit
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4281
  • Reputation: +444/-113
  • Little Miss Cranky Pants
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2008, 11:36:50 PM »
She is at least 2 now.  However, her IQ is like 4 on the sliding 0-100 dog IQ scale.  You must really love your dog to let her have such an unholy relationship with your foot. :therock:  I think her basic need is to make my pillows into her own personal love doll. 

P.S. She got spayed when she was still a pup.  Maybe she is gender confused. :confused: :leghump:
Logged
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

Offline asdf2231

  • would like to cordially invite you to the pants party!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6562
  • Reputation: +556/-162
  • VRWC Arts And Crafts Director
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2008, 11:45:54 PM »
Buy her a doggy vibrator?  :rotf:
Logged




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline Dixie*Darling

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1117
  • Reputation: +133/-25
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2008, 12:12:46 AM »
 :rotf: :lmao:

Mama, your posts always crack me up, but this one takes the cake!
H5 to you for having a dog that's getting more sex than I am ..

... oh wait, the dog is having more sex than me   :bawl:  crap!
Logged

Offline Randy

  • Resident Grouch with a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4244
  • Reputation: +202/-39
  • Odd
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2008, 04:29:30 AM »
Quote from: Dixie*Darling on May 23, 2008, 12:12:46 AM
:rotf: :lmao:

Mama, your posts always crack me up, but this one takes the cake!
H5 to you for having a dog that's getting more sex than I am ..

... oh wait, the dog is having more sex than me   :bawl:  crap!

I see Mama could make a fortune sewing cushions for the sexually deprived members here  :rotf:
Logged

Offline Schadenfreude

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8388
  • Reputation: +475/-78
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2008, 05:51:32 AM »
Quote from: Randy on May 23, 2008, 04:29:30 AM
Quote from: Dixie*Darling on May 23, 2008, 12:12:46 AM
:rotf: :lmao:

Mama, your posts always crack me up, but this one takes the cake!
H5 to you for having a dog that's getting more sex than I am ..

... oh wait, the dog is having more sex than me   :bawl:  crap!

I see Mama could make a fortune sewing cushions for the sexually deprived members here  :rotf:

Mama's Love Cushionsâ„¢. Ima buying a few.  :lmao:
« Last Edit: May 23, 2008, 05:53:06 AM by Schadenfreude »
Logged
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline jtyangel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9116
  • Reputation: +497/-110
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2008, 06:08:33 AM »
Quote from: mamacags on May 22, 2008, 10:52:44 PM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?

It's like a dirty family secret.  :lmao:
Logged

Offline mamacags

  • Smells like teen spirit
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4281
  • Reputation: +444/-113
  • Little Miss Cranky Pants
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2008, 07:02:10 AM »
Logged
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

Offline RGSG99

  • Homeschooling and loving it!
  • Just Off Probation
  • *
  • Posts: 140
  • Reputation: +18/-4
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2008, 07:03:16 AM »
They have this stuff called bitter apple spray.  It is supposed to "repel" dogs.  You might try that.
Logged
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
– H.L. Mencken

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1998/-134
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2008, 07:05:40 AM »
So, that's where lint in the bellybutton comes from. Learn something new everyday.
Logged
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline megimoo

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 734
  • Reputation: +42/-10
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2008, 07:41:56 AM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on May 22, 2008, 11:06:11 PM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  
I am tempted but I'll be good !
Logged

Offline DixieBelle

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12143
  • Reputation: +512/-49
  • Still looking for my pony.....
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #16 on: May 23, 2008, 08:38:35 AM »
There are several sprays at the pet store that you can use. Just be cautious because the ones that are bitter, are REALLY bitter! You may want to use lightly and be downwind when you spray. I used it on a sofa leg that our cat wouldn't leave alone. Worked like a charm but it smelled for a bit until it dried and I did accidentially inhale it and it was so nasty! Maybe you could buy some really cheap throw away pillows and put the good ones away until company comes over?
Logged
I can see November 2 from my house!!!

Spread my work ethic, not my wealth.

Forget change, bring back common sense.
-------------------------------------------------

No, my friends, there’s only one really progressive idea. And that is the idea of legally limiting the power of the government. That one genuinely liberal, genuinely progressive idea — the Why in 1776, the How in 1787 — is what needs to be conserved. We need to conserve that fundamentally liberal idea. That is why we are conservatives. --Bill Whittle

Offline BEG

  • "Mile Marker"
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17277
  • Reputation: +1062/-301
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #17 on: May 23, 2008, 11:04:33 AM »
LOL this is funny, I am laughing at you.
Logged

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14480
  • Reputation: +816/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #18 on: May 23, 2008, 12:38:57 PM »
I could tell you, but you would probably get arrested.  :lmao:
Logged
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #19 on: May 23, 2008, 12:40:31 PM »
Eh could be worse....it could be thing for cars or gators.   :lmao:
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Bondai

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2256
  • Reputation: +158/-86
  • Rode hard and put up wet too many times.
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #20 on: May 23, 2008, 04:45:40 PM »
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.
Logged


"It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack; not rationality".

Offline Lord Undies

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11388
  • Reputation: +639/-250
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #21 on: May 23, 2008, 04:50:32 PM »
Quote from: Bondai on May 23, 2008, 04:45:40 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

They work for potty training kids too.
Logged

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2008, 05:02:09 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on May 23, 2008, 04:50:32 PM
Quote from: Bondai on May 23, 2008, 04:45:40 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

They work for potty training kids too.
They should be standard issue for our congress-critters too, but they'd drain the power grid in DC on the first day.
 :-)
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Schadenfreude

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8388
  • Reputation: +475/-78
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #23 on: May 23, 2008, 05:47:36 PM »
Quote from: Bondai on May 23, 2008, 04:45:40 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

O M G... we had been drinking and a friend of ours put his lab's bark collar on his own self. We all started laughing when he got zapped by his laughter. It was simply the stupidest thing I have ever witnessed. 
Logged
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.â€

Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

  • Holy Crap! Look at my
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3759
  • Reputation: +218/-69
  • OBAMA PHONE!
Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2008, 06:03:25 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on May 22, 2008, 10:52:44 PM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)
Logged
Call me "Asshole" One more time!
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »