Priest Bans Autistic Boy From Church

[bijou]

A Catholic priest has filed a restraining order against the parents of a severely autistic 13-year-old boy in an effort to keep him from attending the church in Bertha on Sundays.


The Rev. Daniel Walz alleges that Adam Race's unruly behavior endangers others who attend the Church of St. Joseph.

Race's parents have ignored the restraining order, calling it discriminatory, and Carol Race, Adam's mother, was cited by police and is due to appear in court on Monday for violating the order.

"He said that we did not discipline our son. He said that our son was physically out of control and a danger to everyone at church," Carol Race said. "I can't discipline him out of his autism, and I think that's what our priest is expecting."

Carol Race said it all started last June, when Walz and a church trustee visited the Races at their home address the behavior of Adam, who stands taller than six feet and weighs more than 225 pounds. ...more...

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=4885322&page=1

[mamacags]

Some autistic kids do have severe issues with hitting, scratching, pinching and kicking people.  At over 6' and 225# he could be seriously dangerous to those around him.  I hate that he has to be banned from church but what else can the priest do to protect the other couple of hundred worshippers there?

[Chris_]

I read this over the weekend, I would like to know a little bit more about the story before I form an opinion. What I do know is that the socialist rag I get in the Twin Cities is very biased against all things Catholic.

I actually have interests on both sides of this story.

[Chris_]

If the autism is severe, it is not a matter of discipline.  Children with that condition cannot be reasoned with.  I'd say the fact that the priest had to take it as far as a restraining order should tell us quite a bit about the parents.

[jtyangel]

I read this over the weekend, I would like to know a little bit more about the story before I form an opinion. What I do know is that the socialist rag I get in the Twin Cities is very biased against all things Catholic.

I actually have interests on both sides of this story.

I am also waiting for more details too. Despite the ADA and a lot of other efforts to try to integrate disabled and mentally handicapped people into everyday life, I still think there is a stigma, particularly among perfectionist types(and like it or not, I've seen many like that in churches), who would like 'that' to be behind closed doors. I'm not saying that is the case here, but I would like to find out more to the story.

Some of things listed there may not have been intentional and the mother is right that you can't discipline autistic tendencies out of the child--the type of behavior where they may excitedly bound in a room or be stimulating(repetative behaviors) in such a way that they end up hitting someone accidentally. It takes a special group of people to really want to learn, understand the condition, and reach out to help a family by kind of like being an extended family to them.

What really chaps my hide if I might bitch for a moment are people who look down at you and say they want to make it easier on you, yet never lift a ****ing finger to help out the situation at all and are usually the ones snipping behind your back to this one or that one. That type of the behavior is usually one of the things that isolates autistic children and their families because you start wondering if you can trust anyone to be sincere and genuine. I always would love people like that to live a week taking care of my son and see how much better a job they could do I'd bet they'd run sucking their thumb and crying for their mamas.

Rant off.

[mamacags]

I don't think anything less than drugging a kid with severe flapping issues will do much of anything.  The kid/adult can't help it any more than a person without autism can help breathing or blinking.  Some autistic kids I have known (well 2 actually) find a particular person that they just want to hit all day long.  It is like they are drawn to that person.  That can be dangerous.  An autistic child in my son's class has lately taken to tackling people during school.  While he can't help himself and there is nothing short of removing him from the class that you can do about it, it is still dangerous to the other 21 children in the class.  I do realize too that probably 95% of autistic kids don't have these issues at all.

I wonder if any effort was made at all for this boy to sit with his parents with maybe a 10' invisible partition between them and the next nearest parishioner.  Is that wrong?  I mean just for church.

[Rick]

I wonder if any effort was made at all for this boy to sit with his parents with maybe a 10' invisible partition between them and the next nearest parishioner.  Is that wrong?  I mean just for church.

Why not a separate service, in the home maybe.

[morningAngel]

I've actually gone to the church in question.  As a Lutheran I was dating a Catholic boy which in that part of the country was a "mixed relationship" and quite the scandal..hence my passing as Catholic once in awhile and his passing as Lutheran..but I digress...
Its a large, very FULL congregation, with limited capacity for the young man in question to be separated.  Its a very small, tight community in that area as well.  That being said, its also a community that does not tolerate differences well...and I would tend to think that any behaviors seen would be viewed as a lack of parenting ability rather than due to the autism...

[mamacags]

No matter what the other people call it something needs to be done.  The boy should be able to have access to a church group and the church goers should be protected from possible harm.  Maybe another church has more room or more tolerance?  I know at a church I went to they had several rooms with the service broadcasted in on TVs.  They had rooms for children, nursing moms, and a couple of other rooms that I didn't know what they were used for but they still had the service on in it.

[Chris_]

No matter what the other people call it something needs to be done.  The boy should be able to have access to a church group and the church goers should be protected from possible harm.  Maybe another church has more room or more tolerance?  I know at a church I went to they had several rooms with the service broadcasted in on TVs.  They had rooms for children, nursing moms, and a couple of other rooms that I didn't know what they were used for but they still had the service on in it.

I agree.

Like it or not, when you have a child with autism, your chances of leading a normal life are slim to none. I try to balance what we as a family can do.... as a family. We no longer bring my son to Mass because frankly, I am not a strong enough person to withstand the outbursts and other disruptions, it isn't fair to the other parishioners and isn't fair to my son to subject him to sensory overloading situations. 

I don't know what accomodations were offered to this family. I would hope that they were looking beyond themselves and considering the needs of the rest of the parish. I would also hope the church didn't just say no way no how and turn away an entire family of 5 kids + 2 adults telling them they were not welcome.

Again, I don't know the entire story, there seems to be a lot of competing agendas. I do have full empathy for what that family endures on a daily basis.

[Lord Undies]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.      

[Ptarmigan]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

[Chris_]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.      

I think there might be better ways to bring religion to the young man. Sitting on him? Binding him? Well, I know they can crave pressure, but I think that should be done in the context of a therapeutic environment, not during a worship service.

Autism is the result of an underdeveloped central nervous system. There are varying degrees of autism, from low to high and everything in between. Our high-functioning autistic son became low-functioning with the onset of puberty.... not fun at all and frankly a huge slap in the face when we thought we had one thing and turn around to have something completely different. Yes, I was mad at God for a long time.

[Lord Undies]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.      

I think there might be better ways to bring religion to the young man. Sitting on him? Binding him? Well, I know they can crave pressure, but I think that should be done in the context of a therapeutic environment, not during a worship service.

Autism is the result of an underdeveloped central nervous system. There are varying degrees of autism, from low to high and everything in between. Our high-functioning autistic son became low-functioning with the onset of puberty.... not fun at all and frankly a huge slap in the face when we thought we had one thing and turn around to have something completely different. Yes, I was mad at God for a long time.

I know it has not been easy for you and your family.  I count my blessing everyday.  My problems pale by comparison.

Our BFF has a son the same age as our oldest.  Her son suffered brain damage during birth.  The child/boy/man's behavior mimics that created by autism.  During his growing years he could be very low-functioning one day and high-functioning the next.  He seems to have settled into high-functioning in his adulthood. 

I have been close to him for thirty-seven years.  He is not mine, of course, but I was there throughout his life.  It wasn't easy for any of us who loved him.

[Chris_]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.      

I think there might be better ways to bring religion to the young man. Sitting on him? Binding him? Well, I know they can crave pressure, but I think that should be done in the context of a therapeutic environment, not during a worship service.

Autism is the result of an underdeveloped central nervous system. There are varying degrees of autism, from low to high and everything in between. Our high-functioning autistic son became low-functioning with the onset of puberty.... not fun at all and frankly a huge slap in the face when we thought we had one thing and turn around to have something completely different. Yes, I was mad at God for a long time.

I know it has not been easy for you and your family.  I count my blessing everyday.  My problems pale by comparison.

Our BFF has a son the same age as our oldest.  Her son suffered brain damage during birth.  The child/boy/man's behavior mimics that created by autism.  During his growing years he could be very low-functioning one day and high-functioning the next.  He seems to have settled into high-functioning in his adulthood. 

I have been close to him for thirty-seven years.  He is not mine, of course, but I was there throughout his life.  It wasn't easy for any of us who loved him.

Thank you undies. Your friendship is undoubtedly most precious to them.

I selected your post to reply to to share personal perspective, I hope it didn't come across as a lecture.

[Lord Undies]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.      

I think there might be better ways to bring religion to the young man. Sitting on him? Binding him? Well, I know they can crave pressure, but I think that should be done in the context of a therapeutic environment, not during a worship service.

Autism is the result of an underdeveloped central nervous system. There are varying degrees of autism, from low to high and everything in between. Our high-functioning autistic son became low-functioning with the onset of puberty.... not fun at all and frankly a huge slap in the face when we thought we had one thing and turn around to have something completely different. Yes, I was mad at God for a long time.

I know it has not been easy for you and your family.  I count my blessing everyday.  My problems pale by comparison.

Our BFF has a son the same age as our oldest.  Her son suffered brain damage during birth.  The child/boy/man's behavior mimics that created by autism.  During his growing years he could be very low-functioning one day and high-functioning the next.  He seems to have settled into high-functioning in his adulthood. 

I have been close to him for thirty-seven years.  He is not mine, of course, but I was there throughout his life.  It wasn't easy for any of us who loved him.

Thank you undies. Your friendship is undoubtedly most precious to them.

I selected your post to reply to to share personal perspective, I hope it didn't come across as a lecture.

Not at all!  I hope I didn't come off in my first post as uncaring.

[morningAngel]

this is the town in question

http://www.inhnews.com/towns/bertha/geninfo.html

[Chris_]

The son of a close friend was/is profoundly autistic.  The emotional and physical drain on his parents was beyond measure, but they never imposed him on others.  He was loved, but was incapable of showing it in return.  I can understand both sides of the issue with the church.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

A Catholic priest has filed a restraining order against the parents of a severely autistic 13-year-old boy in an effort to keep him from attending the church in Bertha on Sundays.


The Rev. Daniel Walz alleges that Adam Race's unruly behavior endangers others who attend the Church of St. Joseph.

Race's parents have ignored the restraining order, calling it discriminatory, and Carol Race, Adam's mother, was cited by police and is due to appear in court on Monday for violating the order.

"He said that we did not discipline our son. He said that our son was physically out of control and a danger to everyone at church," Carol Race said. "I can't discipline him out of his autism, and I think that's what our priest is expecting."

Carol Race said it all started last June, when Walz and a church trustee visited the Races at their home address the behavior of Adam, who stands taller than six feet and weighs more than 225 pounds. ...more...

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=4885322&page=1

I wonder if the priest even offered to maybe go to the home of this family and offer maybe a  small service as well as the sacrament? This seems very against the teachings of Christ. A priest is to tend to his flock and offer comfort to his congregation. This family probably doesn't need this added stress along with their sons disability. You gain more from lifting people up than tearing them down. This family probably needs this priest and IMO he has dropped the ball. Our church already has a PR problem and this just adds to it!

[jtyangel]

I don't think anything less than drugging a kid with severe flapping issues will do much of anything.  The kid/adult can't help it any more than a person without autism can help breathing or blinking.  Some autistic kids I have known (well 2 actually) find a particular person that they just want to hit all day long.  It is like they are drawn to that person.  That can be dangerous.  An autistic child in my son's class has lately taken to tackling people during school.  While he can't help himself and there is nothing short of removing him from the class that you can do about it, it is still dangerous to the other 21 children in the class.  I do realize too that probably 95% of autistic kids don't have these issues at all.

I wonder if any effort was made at all for this boy to sit with his parents with maybe a 10' invisible partition between them and the next nearest parishioner.  Is that wrong?  I mean just for church.

I don't have time to address all this specifically, but I do think it should interest 'good Christians' to know that about 90 percent of marriages where there are autistic children end in divorce. The family really needs the shelter of good people, not the castigation. That behavior adds more pressure to a situation already under a tremendous amount of pressure exerted on it. I guess I gret really aggrevated at Christians in particular because I do tend to hold them to a higher standard particularly when they are always trying to hold other people to a higher standard. What's good for the goose and all that. Anyway, the point is that church going peeps could do a lot to not be an added pressure and their behavior could really jeopardize the faith of some individuals..particularly those who can't discern flawed human behavior versus God's perfect plan.

Now, this is a note aside from this story. I still need more information to go on and I'd like to know what the considerations were and if they were reasonable. If the church had a habit of trying to ostracize the family and the attitude to go with it, I'm not surprised the family pushed back. What I've sadly found in my own experience is that despite the lip service given by professed Christians to disabled people being God's children too, they often do not put that belief in practice if the disability is 'inconvenient'.

That said, I realize my rant is in some ways unrelated to this story as there is not a lot in this to make a decision one way or the other as to who took appropriate action. It is a rant given observation I've seen from people where I live and with a child who is not to the extremes of this one. I am sad to say that often times I've found more consideration and compassion among secular folks and non religious types then I have religious people. Thankfully, my belief in God does not hinge on what other Christians are doing or I probably would have given up on it a long time ago.

[jtyangel]

I've actually gone to the church in question.  As a Lutheran I was dating a Catholic boy which in that part of the country was a "mixed relationship" and quite the scandal..hence my passing as Catholic once in awhile and his passing as Lutheran..but I digress...
Its a large, very FULL congregation, with limited capacity for the young man in question to be separated.  Its a very small, tight community in that area as well.  That being said, its also a community that does not tolerate differences well...and I would tend to think that any behaviors seen would be viewed as a lack of parenting ability rather than due to the autism...

Thanks for shedding light on this, lurk. I'm all to familiar with this type of attitude and it was why I was skeptical and sensitive to the story I guess.

[mamacags]

What part of my post did you have a problem with?

[jtyangel]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.       

Now the behavior you mentioned is totally inappropriate. That's where what Schade says comes in--where you need to draw the line as a reasonable person and say, we can't do this or we have to do this seperately while one parent watches the child in question at home and goes to a different Mass. Good judgement and all that. We too left church for a combo of reasons. Some of what I mentioned, but like Schade, I just don't have the endurance to deal with the behaviors in church. Of course, I'm not sure how my son would react now...I actually think he'd act better then the 4 year old who has no issues.

[jtyangel]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

Actually, you come to church to worship, not find a quiet place to meditate. There is no expectation of peace and quiet where people of all ages will be attending. The best you can do is offer people a place to go when the children need a break so worship can continue relatively uninterrupted and hope people use good judgment as to when those times are that those facilities should be utilized. Most churches do that now by offering a room with video feed ofthe service for people with young children.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

Actually, you come to church to worship, not find a quiet place to meditate. There is no expectation of peace and quiet where people of all ages will be attending. The best you can do is offer people a place to go when the children need a break so worship can continue relatively uninterrupted and hope people use good judgment as to when those times are that those facilities should be utilized. Most churches do that now by offering a room with video feed ofthe service for people with young children.

A cry room!