Priest Bans Autistic Boy From Church

[jtyangel]

What I read about the situation was that the rather large child would urinate in the pew and lash out at those nearby.  That is disturbing behavior to find at your worship service.  I would think twice before I got up, showered, shaved, put on a suit/tie, and drove my family to that church without some assurance our time of worship there was not going to be a dangerous situation.

Where does the child's rights end and the rest of the congregation's begin?

The mother of the child said something about continuity and structure being the important things involved.  Apparently the religious aspect is secondary.  I don't know where to begin with that thinking.       

I think there might be better ways to bring religion to the young man. Sitting on him? Binding him? Well, I know they can crave pressure, but I think that should be done in the context of a therapeutic environment, not during a worship service.

Autism is the result of an underdeveloped central nervous system. There are varying degrees of autism, from low to high and everything in between. Our high-functioning autistic son became low-functioning with the onset of puberty.... not fun at all and frankly a huge slap in the face when we thought we had one thing and turn around to have something completely different. Yes, I was mad at God for a long time.

I know it has not been easy for you and your family.  I count my blessing everyday.  My problems pale by comparison.

Our BFF has a son the same age as our oldest.  Her son suffered brain damage during birth.  The child/boy/man's behavior mimics that created by autism.  During his growing years he could be very low-functioning one day and high-functioning the next.  He seems to have settled into high-functioning in his adulthood. 

I have been close to him for thirty-seven years.  He is not mine, of course, but I was there throughout his life.  It wasn't easy for any of us who loved him.

yes, that is how my son is, Undies. He varies as to his abilities and functioning from day to day. It gets very hard sometimes to never have anything you can count on and I think that's the thing I'm trying ot get across to folks who don't understand. You go to church and just don't know if this will be a high functioning day or a low functioning one. You just don't know and as I said many families end up isolating themselves over the doubt and unpredictability and that is a not an ideal situation either. Do people with disabled children need to be considerate of others? CERTAINLY! Do individuals in the general public, particularly those who give lip service to the value of every child in this world, need to be more accomodating to special needs children? ABSOLUTELY. In the real world though, I think you are more likely to see families where there are autistic children isolating themselves then individuals in the general community being accomodating--in other words, I don't think this family is the norm. Either way, there is a lesson in there and seeing as I see the more lopsided place where a family is isolated, I think that lesson needs to be learned by the general public, not by most families with autistic children who already do more then they probably should to make sure everyone else is not 'disturbed'.

Now, I'm done..I have crap do do here

[jtyangel]

A Catholic priest has filed a restraining order against the parents of a severely autistic 13-year-old boy in an effort to keep him from attending the church in Bertha on Sundays.


The Rev. Daniel Walz alleges that Adam Race's unruly behavior endangers others who attend the Church of St. Joseph.

Race's parents have ignored the restraining order, calling it discriminatory, and Carol Race, Adam's mother, was cited by police and is due to appear in court on Monday for violating the order.

"He said that we did not discipline our son. He said that our son was physically out of control and a danger to everyone at church," Carol Race said. "I can't discipline him out of his autism, and I think that's what our priest is expecting."

Carol Race said it all started last June, when Walz and a church trustee visited the Races at their home address the behavior of Adam, who stands taller than six feet and weighs more than 225 pounds. ...more...

http://abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=4885322&page=1

I wonder if the priest even offered to maybe go to the home of this family and offer maybe a  small service as well as the sacrament? This seems very against the teachings of Christ. A priest is to tend to his flock and offer comfort to his congregation. This family probably doesn't need this added stress along with their sons disability. You gain more from lifting people up than tearing them down. This family probably needs this priest and IMO he has dropped the ball. Our church already has a PR problem and this just adds to it!

And that's the part of the story we don't know. If he made that offer and it was refused, then the parents definitely have the issue imo. Wish we knew more and I only speak my rantings as the parent of an autistic child who has all to often had to deal with uncaring types.

[jtyangel]

What part of my post did you have a problem with?

I'm actually just referring in my mind to an attitude I've seen in general and applying it to a situation that is so stressful on parents they are likely to stray and divorce. It gets into the whole compassion and understanding thing, coupled with being under the pressure of being damned either way you act, and an incredible amount of inconsistencies in prolife versus reality arguments, but I don't have time, nor do i really wish to get into a whole discussion on that. Suffice to say it is most often my own 'side' conservatives(and Christians) who I am most frustrated by in regards to things that are 'difficult' or 'different' for them. Don't take it personally, just my own observations.

[jtyangel]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

Actually, you come to church to worship, not find a quiet place to meditate. There is no expectation of peace and quiet where people of all ages will be attending. The best you can do is offer people a place to go when the children need a break so worship can continue relatively uninterrupted and hope people use good judgment as to when those times are that those facilities should be utilized. Most churches do that now by offering a room with video feed ofthe service for people with young children.

A cry room!

I've had to use it for myself a few times.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

Actually, you come to church to worship, not find a quiet place to meditate. There is no expectation of peace and quiet where people of all ages will be attending. The best you can do is offer people a place to go when the children need a break so worship can continue relatively uninterrupted and hope people use good judgment as to when those times are that those facilities should be utilized. Most churches do that now by offering a room with video feed ofthe service for people with young children.

A cry room!

I've had to use it for myself a few times.

Yes when my boys were babies we ended up there every sunday{especially my youngest }

[jtyangel]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

Actually, you come to church to worship, not find a quiet place to meditate. There is no expectation of peace and quiet where people of all ages will be attending. The best you can do is offer people a place to go when the children need a break so worship can continue relatively uninterrupted and hope people use good judgment as to when those times are that those facilities should be utilized. Most churches do that now by offering a room with video feed ofthe service for people with young children.

A cry room!

I've had to use it for myself a few times.

Yes when my boys were babies we ended up there every sunday{especially my youngest }

No, I mean I used it for ME

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

I don't know why a church would need a restraining order and even call the police. The kid is really big for his age. He could of hurt and even kill someone. I can understand the members and priest frustration. They come to church with expectation of peace and quiet.

A bit off topic, I remember this church that called police on people who came because they were excommunicated for asking to see financial records of the church. The church was at a warehouse and moved to a new church in which the members raised. The minister thought he owned the church and he and the church elders used the money like their own bank. Anyone who spoke out against it were banned and if they came, they called the police on them.

Actually, you come to church to worship, not find a quiet place to meditate. There is no expectation of peace and quiet where people of all ages will be attending. The best you can do is offer people a place to go when the children need a break so worship can continue relatively uninterrupted and hope people use good judgment as to when those times are that those facilities should be utilized. Most churches do that now by offering a room with video feed ofthe service for people with young children.

A cry room!

I've had to use it for myself a few times.

Yes when my boys were babies we ended up there every sunday{especially my youngest }

No, I mean I used it for ME

Oh!

[mamacags]

What part of my post did you have a problem with?

I'm actually just referring in my mind to an attitude I've seen in general and applying it to a situation that is so stressful on parents they are likely to stray and divorce. It gets into the whole compassion and understanding thing, coupled with being under the pressure of being damned either way you act, and an incredible amount of inconsistencies in prolife versus reality arguments, but I don't have time, nor do i really wish to get into a whole discussion on that. Suffice to say it is most often my own 'side' conservatives(and Christians) who I am most frustrated by in regards to things that are 'difficult' or 'different' for them. Don't take it personally, just my own observations.

I wasn't bashing the parents at all.  I can't even imagine how hard it is to raise a kid with autism.  I mean I have a hard time with my daughter and she is just a drama queen.  I was saying that I think there has to be some way the church could make concessions so that the family could come to church.  When you have to deal with it every day you really need an extended family/group like that.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

What part of my post did you have a problem with?

I'm actually just referring in my mind to an attitude I've seen in general and applying it to a situation that is so stressful on parents they are likely to stray and divorce. It gets into the whole compassion and understanding thing, coupled with being under the pressure of being damned either way you act, and an incredible amount of inconsistencies in prolife versus reality arguments, but I don't have time, nor do i really wish to get into a whole discussion on that. Suffice to say it is most often my own 'side' conservatives(and Christians) who I am most frustrated by in regards to things that are 'difficult' or 'different' for them. Don't take it personally, just my own observations.

I wasn't bashing the parents at all.  I can't even imagine how hard it is to raise a kid with autism.  I mean I have a hard time with my daughter and she is just a drama queen.  I was saying that I think there has to be some way the church could make concessions so that the family could come to church.  When you have to deal with it every day you really need an extended family/group like that.

Yes there are ways the church can make concessions. For starters the priest can actually do his job by tending to the needs of his congregation{all of them} Priests visit the elderly,the sick,the infirm,shutins at their homes or hospitals all the time. It is part of the duties of the priesthood.

[jtyangel]

What part of my post did you have a problem with?

I'm actually just referring in my mind to an attitude I've seen in general and applying it to a situation that is so stressful on parents they are likely to stray and divorce. It gets into the whole compassion and understanding thing, coupled with being under the pressure of being damned either way you act, and an incredible amount of inconsistencies in prolife versus reality arguments, but I don't have time, nor do i really wish to get into a whole discussion on that. Suffice to say it is most often my own 'side' conservatives(and Christians) who I am most frustrated by in regards to things that are 'difficult' or 'different' for them. Don't take it personally, just my own observations.

I wasn't bashing the parents at all.  I can't even imagine how hard it is to raise a kid with autism.  I mean I have a hard time with my daughter and she is just a drama queen.  I was saying that I think there has to be some way the church could make concessions so that the family could come to church.  When you have to deal with it every day you really need an extended family/group like that.

Yep, but I know my own church failed our family. Like I said, I've found more compassion, comfort, and support through secular groups and non religious people and that's an awful testament to people who are supposed to be the body of Christ and considering disabilities like this are beyond the scope of the individual to do anything about or prevent against.

[DixieBelle]

While the right thing to do is to show compassion and understanding, Christians are flawed people by nature and sometimes it's just impossible to act Christ-like 100% of the time. I'm not making excuses for this church or any congregation that is unhappy with a disruptive child. Clearly, this is an illness he can't help and I'm sure the family suffers more than anyone who may be temporarily put out during a service.

Like everyone has said, a little more background info on this story would be helpful.

There is a family that goes to my mom's church and they have a child with Tourette's. Outbursts and tics. Very disruptive obviously. But the family can't exactly help it. So, the mother and father take turns sitting in one of the nursery rooms where the services are shown on a TV screen.