Author Topic: Mitt Romney Facts  (Read 1762 times)

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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Mitt Romney Facts
« on: May 11, 2012, 11:27:52 AM »
* There is no evolution; only a list of animals Mitt Romney thought looked too gay.

* Confuscius says a man setting out on a mission of revenge should first dig 2 graves. When Mitt Romney sets out on a mission of revenge he digs 2 graves: 1 for his target and 1 for the guy who thinks he can go around telling Mitt Romney how many graves he should be digging.

* The only reason Obama doesn't have a son who looks like Trayvon Martin is because Mitt Romney bullied Michelle into having girls.

* God would have taken more than 6 days to create the world but Bain Capital had deadlines.

* The Boston Tea Party was started because a bunch of British colonial subjects knew that one day Mitt Romney would be born and he ****ing hates tea.

* Jedis use The Force because nobody, and I mean nobody, uses Mitt Romney.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2012, 11:37:24 AM »
* The Navy SEAL Team 6 mission against Osama bin Laden was really Mitt Romney playing a "kick me" prank.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline Doubleplusungood

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2012, 12:02:22 PM »
* Mitt Romney gave a dog a ride on his car, and Obama then ate that dog.

Offline FlaGator

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2012, 12:03:09 PM »
* Mitt Romney did cut anyone's hair. The hair jumped out on it own because Mitt told it to.
"My enemy's enemy is the enemy I kill last."
Klingon Proverb.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2012, 01:49:18 PM »
* Mitt Romney has only ever had one wage-paying job in his life and that was as a delivery driver for K9-FC where he delivered a bucket of Seamus to a young black man attending Harvard as a junior Constitutional law professor. Romney quit the job after he was stiffed for a tip.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2012, 03:20:25 PM »
* Mitt Romney doesn't do drugs, drugs do Mitt Romney
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline miskie

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2012, 03:44:16 PM »
Romney pushed Ted's car into the Chappaquiddick for the lulz.

Offline miskie

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2012, 03:52:35 PM »
Romney bet Scrooge McDuck one dollar that he could screw up a cancer patient's chances for survival at Johns Hopkins by robbing the patient's PayPal account without getting caught. Romney won.

What's black, white, and racist all over ? The Mitt Romney Starving Orphans Minstrel Show !

Offline Doubleplusungood

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2012, 04:11:13 PM »
* Mitt Romney purchased George Bush's hurricane steering machine. Just wait till he is POTUS.

Offline Doubleplusungood

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2012, 04:11:37 PM »
* Mitt Romney doesn't like Kanye West.

Offline diesel driver

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2012, 05:26:32 PM »
Mitt Romney invented global warming, so Algore would have something to do after inventing the internet.
Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline jukin

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2012, 07:15:08 PM »
Sharks have a Mitt Romney week.
When you are the beneficiary of someone’s kindness and generosity, it produces a sense of gratitude and community.

When you are the beneficiary of a policy that steals from someone and gives it to you in return for your vote, it produces a sense of entitlement and dependency.

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Re: Mitt Romney Facts
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2012, 08:39:34 PM »
Pitbulls are afraid of Mitt Romney, but not because they are a main entree on the menu.
Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.