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Author Topic: Gas Station Bouncy  (Read 5466 times)

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Online 67 Rover

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2012, 08:27:11 AM »
The more likely explanation on why this DUmmie is riding a bike in the first place is not because he can not afford a car or mother gaia, it is because he probably lost his license due to being high/drunk on a Cheeto run and busted for DUI.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2012, 08:47:03 AM »
The big headline on Drudge this morning:

COST OF LIVING SOARS

Does anybody know if the mainstream media's picked up on this story yet?
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Offline njpines

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2012, 08:52:18 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on March 16, 2012, 05:48:35 AM
One local chain of convenience stores--Stewart's--still has free air at their shops that have gas.

As does Wawa down here . . .
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Offline RWKindaGuy

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #28 on: March 16, 2012, 10:10:43 AM »
Quote from: franksolich on March 15, 2012, 10:59:10 PM
ON its literary merits, that's actually a pretty good bouncy.

It's nice to see not all the primitives have lost their touch at good fiction-writing.

If that had "actually" happened, the guy in the H2 would have flattened the bike on the way out.

But still, 2 bongs for creativity.

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Offline Rufus2010

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #29 on: March 16, 2012, 10:47:55 AM »
Quote
Archae (21,833 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

 
I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today.

I had my bicycle at the gas station across the street, putting air in the tires.

Guy in an H2, fills up his gas hog and starts yelling at me.
"You tree-huggers are costing me money!"

I figures this guy has to be an FIB.
I was right.
Illinois plates, and "liberal hunting license" on back bumper.

I asked the dimwit why he was whining at me since I can't afford a car, and why he *HAD* to drive a fat gas-guzzling H2.

"I need it for my family!"

I remind him a minivan has more room and sucks less gas.

Guy tells me to **** off and roars off down the station's driveway.

I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.

Today's GOP.

 :nobong:
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #30 on: March 16, 2012, 10:57:33 AM »
Okay, who here has ever heard someone in a SUV yell or bitch at someone in a Prius?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

Now, who here has ever heard someone in a Prius bitch at someone in an SUV?  Yeah, little more common.

Then again, I always laugh at the assholes who pass me in a Prius doing 80-85.  Do they not realize that NO car is "eco-friendly" at that speed?
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #31 on: March 16, 2012, 11:09:10 AM »
Quote from: diesel driver on March 16, 2012, 04:36:46 AM
I thought it was centipedes ON ice, like them Ice Capades thingies on TV.   :lmao:

You know, Disney On Ice, Muppets On Ice, NHL Hockey...
NHL hockey? On ice ? GTFO of town. Unheard of. A little known fact is, it's packed hail, usually 60 centimeters, or 1 meter as they say.
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Offline zeitgeist

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #32 on: March 16, 2012, 11:15:40 AM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on March 16, 2012, 12:36:44 AM
Yawn, that is a bouncy right out of the template.

Sounds like the bouncy template and official scoring guide needs to be published again.  I am not sure if the DUmmies are no longer tying or if they just don't know the rulez :rulez:  This might be a good thread before the bouncy totally disintigrates as a genre.
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Offline Karin

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #33 on: March 16, 2012, 03:06:39 PM »
And of course the DUmmies eat it up like they always do, before derailing the thread by talking about Hummers (the vehicle).  One guy resists

Quote
pa28 (2,945 posts)

9. Your tale is well composed and most absorbing my friend. n/t

The bouncy itself in my opinion is absurd and approaches parody.  Not as good as Dreamer Tatum's though. 

Here is another feature of the bouncy experience:

Quote
krispos42 (41,522 posts)

39. Ask him where your high-gas-price royalty check was...

...because you hadn't gotten it recently.

The DUmmies in their comments always suggest things to say to various characters in the story, even though all of this happened in the (literary) past.  It's like, "Oh!  I coulda gottem good if I'da just said that!"   :thatsright:

Here's another one:

Quote
Turbineguy (14,226 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

48. Tell him

he's the reason credit cards charge 29% interest. He's too ****ing stupid to notice.
:mental:  I don't even know what that means. 

And another

Quote
Response to Archae (Original post)
15, 2012, 11:18 PThu Mar M
Zalatix (2,337 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

50. I would have said "**** off and get lost, don't talk to me, EVER!" first.
  Don't speak to me!!!!   :catfight:

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Offline Rebel

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #34 on: March 16, 2012, 03:16:40 PM »
Quote
Zalatix (2,337 posts)

50. I would have said "**** off and get lost, don't talk to me, EVER!" first.

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Offline Delmar

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #35 on: March 16, 2012, 03:21:07 PM »
Quote from: Skul on March 16, 2012, 05:33:35 AM

I haven't seen free air at a station in decades.
 
That's inflation!
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Offline DLR Pyro

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #36 on: March 16, 2012, 03:25:52 PM »
Quote
Archae (21,833 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore

...
I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.

nice little touch to end your fairy tale. 

Kinda like candy sprinkles on top of a dogshit cup cake.
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Offline shadeaux

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #37 on: March 16, 2012, 03:38:27 PM »
Bike boy would live in perpetual panic attack hell here in my hood. There are quite a few Hummer3s in driveways.  They were made here.

And I don't think getting a sassy mouth with the owners would be a good idea. It's a 50/50 split of military and police driving them.

Go ahead, get yourself some DU cred, flap those gums to one of them, by all means, try it. You never know who you'll encounter behind the wheel. DUmmies.
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Offline BEG

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #38 on: March 16, 2012, 03:55:42 PM »
Quote from: Rebel on March 15, 2012, 11:55:24 PM
Hey Sarah, I know the super-secret method to make a woman climax with nothing but two fingers in less than 10 seconds. How's your metrosexual date(s) working out? :stirpot:

 :naughty:
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #39 on: March 16, 2012, 09:56:49 PM »
Quote from: Delmar on March 16, 2012, 03:21:07 PM
That's inflation!
I see what you did there. The President doesn't want underinflated tires.
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Offline LC EFA

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #40 on: March 17, 2012, 04:01:34 AM »
Quote from: NHSparky on March 16, 2012, 10:57:33 AM
Okay, who here has ever heard someone in a SUV yell or bitch at someone in a Prius?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?
....

Actually I'm guilty of screaming profanities at people who drive those cars.

Not because they drive a prius as such;  but because they need to get the f*** off my road because they clearly can't drive worth a s***.

I've never had a political discussion while filling up either. If there's someone else at the hi-flow diesel pump, the conversation usually goes something like :
"Mate"
"Mate"
"Gettin' expensive to put this stuff in aint it"
"Sure is. Glad this is a work vehicle".
"Well you have a good 'un then mate"
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #41 on: March 17, 2012, 04:09:49 AM »
Quote from: obumazombie on March 16, 2012, 11:09:10 AM
NHL hockey? On ice ? GTFO of town. Unheard of. A little known fact is, it's packed hail, usually 60 centimeters, or 1 meter as they say.

Really? 

Well sheet far!

(Which is "redneck" for "I did not know that"!   :lmao:
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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #42 on: March 17, 2012, 04:21:10 AM »
Quote from: LC EFA on March 17, 2012, 04:01:34 AM
Actually I'm guilty of screaming profanities at people who drive those cars.

Not because they drive a prius as such;  but because they need to get the f*** off my road because they clearly can't drive worth a s***.

I've never had a political discussion while filling up either. If there's someone else at the hi-flow diesel pump, the conversation usually goes something like :
"Mate"
"Mate"
"Gettin' expensive to put this stuff in aint it"
"Sure is. Glad this is a work vehicle".
"Well you have a good 'un then mate"

When I was driving a truck, I would see some of these shitbox cars, usually 20+ years old, usually "dogshit brown" in color, usually more rust than paint, usually driven by some pony-tailed, gray-haired prof looking type male, or some hairy. half-dressed (or Goth-dressed) feminist.

The cars had every available square inch of surface area covered with some moronic, left-wing nonsense on a bumper sticker.  I'm not sure if they were there to hold the car together, or to advertise the intelligence (or lack of it) of the driver, but it would have been less noticeable if it was towing a flashing neon sign, powered by a portable generator, with  BIG, BOLD letters saying:  "WARNING:  DUMBASS AHEAD!"
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline Tess Anderson

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"I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today." (Archae)
« Reply #43 on: March 17, 2012, 07:37:58 PM »

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002429643



Quote
Archae (21,838 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore


 I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today.
I had my bicycle at the gas station across the street, putting air in the tires.

Guy in an H2, fills up his gas hog and starts yelling at me.
"You tree-huggers are costing me money!" 

I figures this guy has to be an FIB.
I was right.
Illinois plates, and "liberal hunting license" on back bumper.

I asked the dimwit why he was whining at me since I can't afford a car, and why he *HAD* to drive a fat gas-guzzling H2.

"I need it for my family!"

I remind him a minivan has more room and sucks less gas.

Guy tells me to **** off and roars off down the station's driveway.

I notice guy had a Tea Party window decal.

Today's GOP. 46 
 

 :whatever:
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: "I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today." (Archae)
« Reply #44 on: March 17, 2012, 08:04:53 PM »
Sorry to break this to you, Tess, but JakeStyle posted this thread 2 days ago.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,70563.0.html
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline Airwolf

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Re: "I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today." (Archae)
« Reply #45 on: March 17, 2012, 08:05:34 PM »
Zero Bongs
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: "I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today." (Archae)
« Reply #46 on: March 17, 2012, 08:20:46 PM »
Silly primitive.  He wasn't complaining that you were costing him money at the pump, he was complaining that you were costing him money at the car wash, when he has to have the residual bicyclist bits pressure washed off of the undercarriage of his vehicle.  The H2 driver is welcome at my home anytime, and I'll pressure wash any bicyclist bits off for free.  I love to bicycle, but they simply don't belong on the road with cars. 

In my town, they've painted up a few roads with these:


I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, but to me, it just says "speed up!  bicyclists ahead!"



 
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: "I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today." (Archae)
« Reply #47 on: March 17, 2012, 08:59:28 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on March 17, 2012, 08:20:46 PM
Silly primitive.  He wasn't complaining that you were costing him money at the pump, he was complaining that you were costing him money at the car wash, when he has to have the residual bicyclist bits pressure washed off of the undercarriage of his vehicle.  The H2 driver is welcome at my home anytime, and I'll pressure wash any bicyclist bits off for free.  I love to bicycle, but they simply don't belong on the road with cars. 

In my town, they've painted up a few roads with these:


I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean, but to me, it just says "speed up!  bicyclists ahead!"



 

Watch out for hovering bicycles ? Where are the Wright brothers when you need them ? Maybe even Igor Sikorsky.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: "I was blamed for the high cost of gasoline today." (Archae)
« Reply #48 on: March 17, 2012, 09:01:27 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on March 17, 2012, 08:20:46 PM
In my town, they've painted up a few roads with these:

Geezuz, talk about narrow-gauge traffic lanes.
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Offline BEG

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Re: Gas Station Bouncy
« Reply #49 on: March 17, 2012, 09:03:54 PM »
I read these type of bouncies to my husband. They make him laugh.
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