I would understand if my mom didn't want me or my brothers to see my grandma (my dad's mom). My grandma (who is still alive at 98) is not the nicest person. She was cruel to my mom when she was married to my dad and would say nasty things about my mom to us kids. I could list some of the crap she pulled but I dont want to get into it. I'm pretty sure she has a mental illness. BUT my mom never said anything negative about her when we were growing up or my dad after they got a divorce and she let us kids go to my grandparents farm when ever we wanted. She knew eventually that we would figure her out and we all did. I respect my mom tremendously for the way she handled it.
A bag of worms here, a 4-7 year old child is sent for 3-6 weeks with a grandparent that has nothing good to say about their parent. Then off to another set of grandparents that say nothing good about the other parent.
Loyalty's divided, the kids may protest the grandparents view of either parent and be brought up short by condescending relatives that ignore the child or disbelieve them.
Children have no choice when a Court ordered them to live for weeks at a time with blood relatives that despise one of their parents. If the kids overhear grandparents putting down a parent, speak up to say the things they heard are not true, then the rush to convince the child that this is true and grandparents know best.
Grandparents must unite for the best for the child, knock off this loyalty issue and never give a child a reason to fear a parent on their return to the home. Forget about how the child is being raised by a parent or parents, take them in and love them for the time they are there. NEVER EVER should a child have to listen to s*it about one or the other parent from others especially blood family.
If the child is in bad circumstances then the parent looses custody and a grandparent can step in------However how bad the plight of the child, they need to know their parents love and value them. Who knows what is down the road in 15 years for the child and their parent.