The Straight Story is Frustrated: Doc Suggests He Gets off His Lazy Ass

[Paul Heinzman]

The Straight Story
 
Getting really frustrated - quit or be fired?

Not really asking DU'ers that question, just need to rant.

I took off work earlier in the year due to both my own health issues and those of my x. My dr had me on some so-so meds and I actually went back to work earlier than she had planned to release me.

In late September I ended up back off work. Panic attacks, anxiety, etc. She took me off 12 weeks and wanted to try some new meds, and wanted me to see a psychiatrist when I could get in to see one (not easy).

I was supposed to see her today, a month after my last appointment, up my dosage to 300 (gradually increasing), and see how I was doing in general.

Last Tuesday
I get a call from the dr, she needs me to come in because they got a call from my employer that I would be fired if I did not come back this week.

Called my hr guy (who has been awesome) and he said, uh no - you have up to 6 months you can take, you pay for that insurance. Wasn't us that called her.

Last Friday
Go see the doc. She tells me someone from FMLA at my company called her and told her that and she was sending back to work. I explained that it was not true. She asked me if I felt I was ready to go back to work and I said no, that I am fatigued all the time with these meds, and I was sick as a dog with the flu. Oddly, she has never done any tests on me ever but bp test (no blood test, taking temp, listening to chest, etc - which I thought she might do something when I am sitting there hacking my head off and sweating...). Explained my mental state, found out a friend had died, and told her something else huge that had happened (and I won't discuss here) and she didn't write it down just stared at me.

Didn't care.

Monday
Go back to work and see HR. HR guy didn't think I was getting good care and could tell I was sick (sitting there sweating with a fever, coughing, and looking like hell). He had me see my supervisor and manager. They were shocked that my dr sent me back, could tell there was no way I could do the work (tech support/programming) and told me to just go home.

Back down to tell HR guy, he said he would himself call my doctor and explain it to her and that I was in no danger of losing my job, but if she insisted I come back I could actually lose my job if I could not perform the work and she released me.

He did call them, I went back and forth on the phone and the assistant to doctor finally said "She thinks you just need to use your coping skills you learned" and I asked "What ones, she has only ever taken my BP and gave me meds and wanted me to see a psych dr, which I in early Feb.?" She was not sure either and I request a call back from the Dr. Herself.

Tuesday
Dr calls me at 8am, I explain everything to her - that they didn't want me back until I was able, saw a psych dr and got evaluated, etc and so on.

She says "Is this what you want to do for the rest of your life?"

me: "What, what do you mean?"

Dr: "Just sit at home in bed, is that all you want to do with your life, not work?"

Me: "No...that is why I am seeing you. But I am so tired on these meds I can't work or do a lot of things. And now you have upped me to 300mg"

Dr: "We've talked about this, the fatigue is a side effect and it won't increase with the dosage. Maybe you should eat more fruits and exercise."

(and the kicker for me)

Me: "I just want to get better and be able to work. You didn't have any problem with me being off before the insurance company called you last week. If you could just write me off until I see the psych dr..."

Dr: "If I write you off, that means your disability insurance will continue to pay you, and I am not going to do that. I have other patients, I have to go"

After I got off the phone with her my boss called, said I sounded like crap, told him what the dr said, and he said 'Doesn't seem she cares. But I can't have you in here like this, figure something out with HR."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Down to 3 options.

1. Resign, the company won't fight UE benefits and will back me up (and yes, you can quit and benefits, when my X was very ill and I had to quit to move back here to Ohio I was able to get it).

2. Not come back to work and eventually be fired (which could take weeks) - downside here is sets back any UE I apply for and no pay during that time, which means my health insurance won't be paid either. Plus looks bad on a resume.

3. Find a new dr fast - problems with that are money to pay for appts, but biggest one- all the ones I called so far in my plan are either not taking new patients or they are but not until the second week of January (urgent care might get me a dr excuse for a day or two but that is about it).

I dunno. My own dr wanted me to see a psych dr, knew it would take time, had no problem with me being off at all, wanted me to a psych dr, and then bam - insurance company calls her and she wants me back.

This whole thing has made me more upset/distressed than I was when I took off. I didn't expect her to heal me, but to support me while I got in to see a psych, something she felt would help me and I needed.

Nut up or shut up. For ****'s Face, man, the main side effect of sloth is lethargy. Your doctor is telling you to get off your ass and work off the side effects of the meds that you need your your special brand of crazy.

[Paul Heinzman]

Sorry, forgot to post the link.

[Freeper]

Hey DUmmy if I can do physical labor while feeling very tired (possible sleep apnea) you can do your desk job.

[franksolich]

Hey DUmmy if I can do physical labor while feeling very tired (possible sleep apnea) you can do your desk job.

This primitive is about the most helpless human being I can think of.

He probably even needs assistance flailing his arms around in despair.

[Freeper]

This primitive is about the most helpless human being I can think of.

He probably even needs assistance flailing his arms around in despair.

  Probably so.

[Carl]

God these people are useless.

Has he begged for Christmas money yet?

[Mr Mannn]

This seems contagious. A lot of DUmmies have allergic reactions to...work.

I wonder if there is a mental health path to the disability gravy train?

[franksolich]

I wonder if there is a mental health path to the disability gravy train?

There sure is; a lot of primitives have used it, too.

We can save social security for the aged (over 65) only by getting rid of all the other goodies it gives out to the non-aged.  I'm nowhere near 65, but I think that's what we should do.  No early retirement at 62, no disability gravy train, no widows collecting husband's benefits.

That sounds drastic, but that's the only way it can be saved.  Social security for those 65 and over only.

[thundley4]

Explained my mental state, found out a friend had died, and told her something else huge that had happened (and I won't discuss here) and she didn't write it down just stared at me.

She just stared at you, because what you use as excuses, the rest of us call life happening and we deal with it.  Here's an idea, when you fill your next prescription , take it, all of it.

[Chris_]

He can't work because he's "sad".

What a bunch of shit.

[Bodadh]

That whole story just sounds off. He is too depressed to sit at a desk? Loose your nice little in door job and see how depressed you will be then.

I have a feeling the doctor and insurance company consider him to be uncoopertive and both are tired of dealing with him. Those resorces he is sucking up can be put to better use on others who will actually work to get better.

Geez....he thinks he had it rough this year he should have a chat with the people at the homeless shelter I am working at for the holidays. One night sleeping on a cot in a church might motivate him to go back to work and suck it up.......or demand a better cot now that I think about it.

[Traveshamockery]

Ahhh, The Straight Story comes through for his "woe is me" story just in time for Christmas.  The example he is setting for his daughter is pitiful. 

[BEG]

Go to rehab and get another job.

[shadeaux]

Work to him is like garlic to a vampire.

He needs to make a copy of that post and bring it out every holiday.  Change a word or two, freshen it up.  Maybe one day someone will give a damn.

 

[GOBUCKS]

He needs that skydiving trip with his ex-wife desperately.

That would cheer him up enough to go to work.

If the DUmmieis would just show some compassion and send him the money, things would work out.

[Big Don]

you can quit and benefits, when my X was very ill and I had to quit to move back here to Ohio I was able to get it

Uh, noticed this before, who takes care of their Ex?

[diesel driver]

Uh, noticed this before, who takes care of their Ex?

I'd like to "take care" of mine, but I don't think the law allows it.   

[formerlurker]

The doctor thinks he is a scam artist and won't enable him any longer.   The misfit here didn't mention the drugs she was giving him, which would be an indicator of what his problem is.    I will say she can't just cut him off cold turkey as that would be unethical, so I have a feeling he is leaving out a large portion of this story.

I have a feeling the long term disability carrier was looking for information on disability, and she couldn't state this misfit is incapable of working.   His friend died?  oh sure, by all means take another 4 months off then.   

He should quit because it is clear his employer doesn't want him back either.   

[jtyangel]

Your employer is right. Short term disability insurance is insurance to cover your pay, it is not an excuse to be off of work and even if you do become disabled, I do believe your boss does not have to hold your position beyond the FMLA time, but just find you something relatively equivalent when you return. What your HR person is telling you is that you are past those 12 or 13 weeks. You either need to return to work or your doctor needs to man or woman up and call you at least partially disabled so they can change your status: you essentially are out of the FMLA boundaries. I'm sure your doc won't have a problem with this seeing as she thought it was prudent  to excuse you out of work for 12 WEEKS just to fiddle around with anxiety meds . 

BTW, I have some idea of this. I got right at the limit with my first pregnancy because I had to be off for hypertension issues and then the usual recovery after at the end of the pregnancy. It came up when 5 months back my baby and I both got sick and I just needed the usual sick time. I was still on the rolling year from that. We(my husband at the time and I) made the decision I would resign since we had been toying with the idea anyway since she had been born so it seemed like the shove we needed to make a decision since we didn't want to do daycare(we were workign opposite shifts at the time). My point is I've been up against that FMLA law, your doctor does indeed need to make a decision so your job is no longer an issue: either she calls you 'disabled' or she releases you to return to work. Decision time dummie.

[jtyangel]

There sure is; a lot of primitives have used it, too.

We can save social security for the aged (over 65) only by getting rid of all the other goodies it gives out to the non-aged.  I'm nowhere near 65, but I think that's what we should do.  No early retirement at 62, no disability gravy train, no widows collecting husband's benefits.

That sounds drastic, but that's the only way it can be saved.  Social security for those 65 and over only.

I disagree Frank. You just need to weed out leeches like this. Unfortunately, there are still many people who can not work no matter how much they want to. With serious things like kidney failure and neurological deficiencies. I acknowledge, as a matter of faith and humanity, taking care of those who truly can not take care of themselves, but there are too many leeches in the system right now. Didn't this guy at any time think it was not a great idea to take off for 12 weeks to fiddle with meds? Didn't he figure he might have a more serious illness at some point that he might need to take a few days off for? Why couldn't he have taken a week or two while they got him on some intercessory medication and then he could have set an appointment up with a psych to adjust or look at other meds/plan of action? I just don't see why he needed all that time off. And if this man coudl grocery shop, make meals, dress himself, shower, clean house, chit chat with friends(on the board and in real life), drive around, etc..I fail to see why he was so ill to be off of work.

He probably is sick right now(with flu) and is feeling the heat of blowing all the fmla when he finally needs it most. dummie.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

The doctor thinks he is a scam artist and won't enable him any longer.   The misfit here didn't mention the drugs she was giving him, which would be an indicator of what his problem is.    I will say she can't just cut him off cold turkey as that would be unethical, so I have a feeling he is leaving out a large portion of this story.

I have a feeling the long term disability carrier was looking for information on disability, and she couldn't state this misfit is incapable of working.   His friend died?  oh sure, by all means take another 4 months off then.   

He should quit because it is clear his employer doesn't want him back either.   

He was told by his doctor to go see a psychiatrist! He said so in his post. She either recognized him for what he is or can no longer do anything for him as his problem as with most dummies is that he is menatlly ill. I vote for lazy and shiftless. Anxiety and depressive disorders are the most overly diagnosed when these able bodied leeches decide they want to retire on SSDI!

[Traveshamockery]

More Interesting Information..........and it involves "free" meds.  Well, of course!  TSS shouldn't pay for anything. 

The Straight Story
16. Thanks for you reply, I was starting to think it was just me


"It is clear your doctor isn't caring about you. "

No, she has not. I have told her things I won't even tell folks here (and I have been pretty open over my time here).

Up until she got that call she was cool. She has never done a blood test, etc. Just given me meds and sent me home and such.

I had one episode when I hit the initial 300 mg (she gave me meds that took me from 50 to 400mg - free meds to get me up to the level she wanted me at) that I told her about. I woke up in the middle of the night with my legs racing. I felt like Forrest Gump - I could hardly wake up and my legs wanted to run. I could not control them and threw off the covers and 'ran'. When I got the actual scrip for the 300 mg I read through the pamphlet and it has in bold letters that if something like that happens I should call my Dr. right away.

When I told her about it (before I knew it was a serious side effect) she just said 'ok'.

I am worse now than before

Of course you are, TSS. 

[whiffleball]

He needs that skydiving trip with his ex-wife desperately.

That would cheer him up enough to go to work.

If the DUmmieis would just show some compassion and send him the money, things would work out.

Doug's stupid ex-wife should start a fund-raising thread.

[Karin]

It's stories like this that get him nominated year after year.  He times them wrong, though.  He does it either early January or late December.  He's just not doing it right. 

This post is the quintessential DUmmie post.  A fine specimen. 

[FiddyBeowulf]

The doctor thinks he is a scam artist and won't enable him any longer.   The misfit here didn't mention the drugs she was giving him, which would be an indicator of what his problem is.   

The Dr. probably gave him a placebo and knew he was making it up the side effects.