Dear Boar Hog Tits,
Those of you who lurk here from DUnceland have probably noticed that 99% or more of the posts here at CC are being shown as being made by chris_. Well, you've noticed it if things haven't been returned to "normal" in an attempt to cover things up.
It's been mentioned on here that it is a "program glitch" or a "forum problem." Don't be so quick to believe it. As your fictional spirit-guide and former Jackass Party candidate I feel that it is important for you to know the truth. So, members of DUnceland, sit down the bong, wipe off the Cheetos dust, and strap on your tin-foil beanies because I've got a story for you...
Rove has finally decided that the BFEE needs a special forces unit within its cyber-ops division. He has had his eye on chris_ for some time as the possible head of the special forces unit, but Rove is particular about who he places in leadership. He wanted proof of chris_'s qualifications. Chris_ figured that the best way to show his qualifications to Rove would be to demonstrate a board-wide take over.
I realize that some of you are thinking that as a board administrator chris_ could have simply changed things with a few strokes of the keyboard, but chris_ is so far beyond such simple acts. He made the changes using all the tools available in the BFEE arsenal.
In several cases he used the BFEE time machine to go back in time to the point in which the original posts were made. He used the BFEE transporter to transport to the original posters' home. He used the BFEE mind-reading machine to learn what the original posters intended to post. Then, in what I consider to just being a case of showing off, he used the BFEE earthquake machine with pinpoint accuracy to shake the keyboard into making the actual posts. Yes, that's right. He never touched a keyboard!
In other cases he used some BFEE equipment that is so top secret that I can't even mention it here.
Rove watched it all in awe. All Rove could say afterward was that he was pretty sure that there was about to be a new sheriff in town.
After what I have witnessed I have a few words of warning to you lurking Boar Hog Tits: fear the awesome power of chris_ and do not draw his wrathful gaze upon yourselves.