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Author Topic: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.  (Read 3832 times)

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Offline Splashdown

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CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« on: May 19, 2011, 11:45:38 AM »
I KNEW IT!!!!!!

I'm ready.

Never Fear – CDC is Ready



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Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

CDC link
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2011, 01:08:38 PM »
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(I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

I recommend we make them wear red shirts.


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Offline CG6468

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2011, 01:24:15 PM »
I suggest that they start at the house painted white, and then continue to the Halls of Congress.
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Online SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2011, 06:09:39 PM »
Typical liberals

No mention of which guns and chainsaws are best for defense.
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Offline namvet

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2011, 08:04:01 PM »
this have anything to do with the end of the world???  which is 2 days away
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2011, 08:39:34 PM »
If you see it coming, fly to Hawaii. Thats where the US govt moved it capitol in World War Z.

Otherwise an apocalypse will be rough. any one with a boat will have taken it away from shore. The coasts will be swarming with the hungry dead (cause that where all the food/people are). Once they run out of food, the dead will head inland.

If I have to walk...I'm headed to the Alaskan panhandle. There I will make a raft and head out to one of the thousands of islands. I will fish and farm for a living.

BUT. Understand priorities. First thing is rescue the gals at Hooters. They will be grateful and lines like, "Hey we're saving humanity!" will actually work...
Of course I also understand Karma. I'll have my 20 gals all safe on an island...and they will ALL be mad at me at the same time...Where will you find a florist in a zombie apocalypse?

sigh.


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Offline Mike220

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2011, 09:09:55 PM »
Quote from: Mr Mannn on May 19, 2011, 08:39:34 PM
I'll have my 20 gals all safe on an island...and they will ALL be mad at me at the same time...Where will you find a florist in a zombie apocalypse?

Just wait until their "cycles" sync. You'll be praying to be eaten...  :-)
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2011, 09:19:37 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on May 19, 2011, 09:09:55 PM
Just wait until their "cycles" sync. You'll be praying to be eaten...  :-)

Being a girl, I shoulda probably BS'd you for that, but...it's been a long day, and you made me  :lmao: so, you get a Hi5!
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Offline Chris_

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2011, 09:22:07 PM »
Damn zombies better not ruin my weekend.  I got shit to do.
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Offline Mike220

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2011, 09:23:30 PM »
Quote from: chris_ on May 19, 2011, 09:22:07 PM
Damn zombies better not ruin my weekend.  I got shit to do.

Me too. When the Rapture happens Saturday, I have a Triumph Sprint to find and steal.
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Offline vesta111

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2011, 08:19:26 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on May 19, 2011, 09:23:30 PM
Me too. When the Rapture happens Saturday, I have a Triumph Sprint to find and steal.
This is a brilliant idea on how to inform the youth of how to survive a disaster.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2011, 08:26:38 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 20, 2011, 08:19:26 PM
This is a brilliant idea on how to inform the youth of how to survive a disaster.
Or they could just read 'The Stand'.
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Offline compaqxp

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2011, 09:19:47 PM »
In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse I'll just go north. Seeing as Zombies are dead they produce no heat and will freeze solid in cold temperatures.

I think my plan is ok.. :)

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Offline Mike220

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2011, 09:22:58 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 20, 2011, 08:19:26 PM
This is a brilliant idea on how to inform the youth of how to survive a disaster.

That would imply I care to "inform the youth on how to survive a disaster." But I really don't so, meh...
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Offline thelaughingman

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2011, 10:48:17 PM »
So how much of my tax dollars did that pile of useless garbage cost?
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Offline Revolution

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2011, 11:57:37 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8FhcOHXa-M[/youtube]

It is coming. THEY...are...coming!!1!11!
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Offline namvet

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2011, 08:07:16 AM »
well i see we made it. but the day is early
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Offline vesta111

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2011, 02:59:41 AM »
Quote from: namvet on May 21, 2011, 08:07:16 AM
well i see we made it. but the day is early

Didn't that old swindler of a so called Prophet also say yesterday was just the start of the 5 months of horror to come and the actual rapture would start in Oct.?????  How long does a Rapture last earth time, 1 minute, 1 day, one month or 1000 years??? Will this be an only Jews event or can Christians and Buddhists come along for the ride??????

If this poor old man is correct, don't laugh yet, I will bet my favorite dog that for the next 5 months somewhere in the world there will be earthquakes, wars, some kind of natural disaster and man made foolishness going on every day.
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Offline namvet

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2011, 09:25:45 AM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 22, 2011, 02:59:41 AM
Didn't that old swindler of a so called Prophet also say yesterday was just the start of the 5 months of horror to come and the actual rapture would start in Oct.?????  How long does a Rapture last earth time, 1 minute, 1 day, one month or 1000 years??? Will this be an only Jews event or can Christians and Buddhists come along for the ride??????

If this poor old man is correct, don't laugh yet, I will bet my favorite dog that for the next 5 months somewhere in the world there will be earthquakes, wars, some kind of natural disaster and man made foolishness going on every day.

no I didn't hear about that. I think the rapture is scheduled for every month this year.  :-)
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Offline Revolution

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #19 on: May 22, 2011, 05:39:41 PM »
The senile old guy is holed up good, and tight now, but I just saw a report. He says he can't figure out how he got his calculations wrong, but there will be a rapture sometime in this year of 2011!111! He is SURE of it!1!

 :whatever:
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Quote from: vesta111 on December 11, 2012, 12:00:18 PM
soon as you find your manhood all else falls into place.

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If Ft. Hood was "workplace violence," then the Hindenburg was an air show.

Guns do not kill people. Rotting, festering, disgusting, grimy, evil, un-reparable souls kill people.

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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #20 on: May 22, 2011, 06:51:38 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 22, 2011, 02:59:41 AM
How long does a Rapture last earth time, 1 minute, 1 day, one month or 1000 years???

24 business hours . . .  :tongue: :fuelfire:
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Offline namvet

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2011, 07:16:39 PM »
and no forwarding address
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Offline mamacags

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2011, 12:34:32 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on May 20, 2011, 09:19:47 PM
In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse I'll just go north. Seeing as Zombies are dead they produce no heat and will freeze solid in cold temperatures.

I think my plan is ok.. :)



You better read World War Z before you finalize your travel plans.
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2011, 09:00:32 PM »
Cold weather preserves a zombie...they can last for 100's of years way up north.
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