« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.  (Read 3817 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Splashdown

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6729
  • Reputation: +475/-100
  • Out of 9 lives, I spent 7
CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« on: May 19, 2011, 11:45:38 AM »
I KNEW IT!!!!!!

I'm ready.

Never Fear – CDC is Ready



Quote
Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

CDC link
Logged
Let nothing trouble you,
Let nothing frighten you. 
All things are passing;
God never changes.
Patience attains all that it strives for.
He who has God lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
--St. Theresa of Avila



"No crushed ice; no peas." -- Undies

Offline DumbAss Tanker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 28493
  • Reputation: +1710/-151
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2011, 01:08:38 PM »
Quote
(I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

I recommend we make them wear red shirts.


Logged
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline CG6468

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 11493
  • Reputation: +540/-210
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2011, 01:24:15 PM »
I suggest that they start at the house painted white, and then continue to the Halls of Congress.
Logged
Illinois, south of the gun controllers in Chi town

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 23560
  • Reputation: +2480/-270
  • Voted Rookie-of-the-Year, 3 years running
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2011, 06:09:39 PM »
Typical liberals

No mention of which guns and chainsaws are best for defense.
Logged
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2011, 08:04:01 PM »
this have anything to do with the end of the world???  which is 2 days away
Logged

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline Mr Mannn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14885
  • Reputation: +2648/-276
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2011, 08:39:34 PM »
If you see it coming, fly to Hawaii. Thats where the US govt moved it capitol in World War Z.

Otherwise an apocalypse will be rough. any one with a boat will have taken it away from shore. The coasts will be swarming with the hungry dead (cause that where all the food/people are). Once they run out of food, the dead will head inland.

If I have to walk...I'm headed to the Alaskan panhandle. There I will make a raft and head out to one of the thousands of islands. I will fish and farm for a living.

BUT. Understand priorities. First thing is rescue the gals at Hooters. They will be grateful and lines like, "Hey we're saving humanity!" will actually work...
Of course I also understand Karma. I'll have my 20 gals all safe on an island...and they will ALL be mad at me at the same time...Where will you find a florist in a zombie apocalypse?

sigh.


Logged

Offline Mike220

  • Proud owner of a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Reputation: +310/-122
  • Ron Swanson is my hero
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2011, 09:09:55 PM »
Quote from: Mr Mannn on May 19, 2011, 08:39:34 PM
I'll have my 20 gals all safe on an island...and they will ALL be mad at me at the same time...Where will you find a florist in a zombie apocalypse?

Just wait until their "cycles" sync. You'll be praying to be eaten...  :-)
Logged
Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool. - Bender

"jews run the media" -- CreativeChristie
Woohoo! Bow to me peasants -- Me

Offline IassaFTots

  • In WTF-istan, I am considered a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 13972
  • Reputation: +770/-274
  • Oh well, I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway.
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2011, 09:19:37 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on May 19, 2011, 09:09:55 PM
Just wait until their "cycles" sync. You'll be praying to be eaten...  :-)

Being a girl, I shoulda probably BS'd you for that, but...it's been a long day, and you made me  :lmao: so, you get a Hi5!
Logged
R.I.P. LC and Crockspot.  Miss you guys.

The infinite is possible at zombocom.  www.zombo.com

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2011, 09:22:07 PM »
Damn zombies better not ruin my weekend.  I got shit to do.
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Mike220

  • Proud owner of a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Reputation: +310/-122
  • Ron Swanson is my hero
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2011, 09:23:30 PM »
Quote from: chris_ on May 19, 2011, 09:22:07 PM
Damn zombies better not ruin my weekend.  I got shit to do.

Me too. When the Rapture happens Saturday, I have a Triumph Sprint to find and steal.
Logged
Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool. - Bender

"jews run the media" -- CreativeChristie
Woohoo! Bow to me peasants -- Me

Offline vesta111

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9712
  • Reputation: +493/-1154
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2011, 08:19:26 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on May 19, 2011, 09:23:30 PM
Me too. When the Rapture happens Saturday, I have a Triumph Sprint to find and steal.
This is a brilliant idea on how to inform the youth of how to survive a disaster.
Logged

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2011, 08:26:38 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 20, 2011, 08:19:26 PM
This is a brilliant idea on how to inform the youth of how to survive a disaster.
Or they could just read 'The Stand'.
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline compaqxp

  • The Canadian
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1449
  • Reputation: +743/-808
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2011, 09:19:47 PM »
In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse I'll just go north. Seeing as Zombies are dead they produce no heat and will freeze solid in cold temperatures.

I think my plan is ok.. :)

Logged

Offline Mike220

  • Proud owner of a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Reputation: +310/-122
  • Ron Swanson is my hero
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2011, 09:22:58 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 20, 2011, 08:19:26 PM
This is a brilliant idea on how to inform the youth of how to survive a disaster.

That would imply I care to "inform the youth on how to survive a disaster." But I really don't so, meh...
Logged
Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool. - Bender

"jews run the media" -- CreativeChristie
Woohoo! Bow to me peasants -- Me

Offline thelaughingman

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 908
  • Reputation: +66/-34
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2011, 10:48:17 PM »
So how much of my tax dollars did that pile of useless garbage cost?
Logged

Offline Revolution

  • It's a Hoagie not a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6945
  • Reputation: +504/-426
  • 8/20/50 - 3/8/12 Love you, Pop
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #15 on: May 20, 2011, 11:57:37 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8FhcOHXa-M[/youtube]

It is coming. THEY...are...coming!!1!11!
Logged

:usflag: :salutearmy: :saluteaf: :saluteusmc: :salutenavy: :taps:
THANK YOU for what you do!

Quote from: vesta111 on December 11, 2012, 12:00:18 PM
soon as you find your manhood all else falls into place.

Quote from: Greg Gutfeld
If Ft. Hood was "workplace violence," then the Hindenburg was an air show.

Guns do not kill people. Rotting, festering, disgusting, grimy, evil, un-reparable souls kill people.

Quote
I don't know if sand glows in the dark, but we're gonna find out.

3x PROUD Facebook Felon!!

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2011, 08:07:16 AM »
well i see we made it. but the day is early
Logged

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline vesta111

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 9712
  • Reputation: +493/-1154
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2011, 02:59:41 AM »
Quote from: namvet on May 21, 2011, 08:07:16 AM
well i see we made it. but the day is early

Didn't that old swindler of a so called Prophet also say yesterday was just the start of the 5 months of horror to come and the actual rapture would start in Oct.?????  How long does a Rapture last earth time, 1 minute, 1 day, one month or 1000 years??? Will this be an only Jews event or can Christians and Buddhists come along for the ride??????

If this poor old man is correct, don't laugh yet, I will bet my favorite dog that for the next 5 months somewhere in the world there will be earthquakes, wars, some kind of natural disaster and man made foolishness going on every day.
Logged

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2011, 09:25:45 AM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 22, 2011, 02:59:41 AM
Didn't that old swindler of a so called Prophet also say yesterday was just the start of the 5 months of horror to come and the actual rapture would start in Oct.?????  How long does a Rapture last earth time, 1 minute, 1 day, one month or 1000 years??? Will this be an only Jews event or can Christians and Buddhists come along for the ride??????

If this poor old man is correct, don't laugh yet, I will bet my favorite dog that for the next 5 months somewhere in the world there will be earthquakes, wars, some kind of natural disaster and man made foolishness going on every day.

no I didn't hear about that. I think the rapture is scheduled for every month this year.  :-)
Logged

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline Revolution

  • It's a Hoagie not a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6945
  • Reputation: +504/-426
  • 8/20/50 - 3/8/12 Love you, Pop
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #19 on: May 22, 2011, 05:39:41 PM »
The senile old guy is holed up good, and tight now, but I just saw a report. He says he can't figure out how he got his calculations wrong, but there will be a rapture sometime in this year of 2011!111! He is SURE of it!1!

 :whatever:
Logged

:usflag: :salutearmy: :saluteaf: :saluteusmc: :salutenavy: :taps:
THANK YOU for what you do!

Quote from: vesta111 on December 11, 2012, 12:00:18 PM
soon as you find your manhood all else falls into place.

Quote from: Greg Gutfeld
If Ft. Hood was "workplace violence," then the Hindenburg was an air show.

Guns do not kill people. Rotting, festering, disgusting, grimy, evil, un-reparable souls kill people.

Quote
I don't know if sand glows in the dark, but we're gonna find out.

3x PROUD Facebook Felon!!

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #20 on: May 22, 2011, 06:51:38 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on May 22, 2011, 02:59:41 AM
How long does a Rapture last earth time, 1 minute, 1 day, one month or 1000 years???

24 business hours . . .  :tongue: :fuelfire:
Logged
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline namvet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1321
  • Reputation: +104/-78
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2011, 07:16:39 PM »
and no forwarding address
Logged

"THERE ARE NO GREAT MEN. THERE ARE ONLY GREAT CHALLENGES THAT ORDINARY MEN ARE FORCED BY CIRCUMSTANCES TO MEET" - ADM WILLIAM F HALSEY

Offline mamacags

  • Smells like teen spirit
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4281
  • Reputation: +444/-113
  • Little Miss Cranky Pants
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #22 on: May 23, 2011, 12:34:32 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on May 20, 2011, 09:19:47 PM
In the event of a Zombie Apocalypse I'll just go north. Seeing as Zombies are dead they produce no heat and will freeze solid in cold temperatures.

I think my plan is ok.. :)



You better read World War Z before you finalize your travel plans.
Logged
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
Winston Churchill

Offline Mr Mannn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14885
  • Reputation: +2648/-276
Re: CDC prepares us for the Zombie Apocalypse.
« Reply #23 on: May 24, 2011, 09:00:32 PM »
Cold weather preserves a zombie...they can last for 100's of years way up north.
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »