With all the talk about TSA harassment, inconvenience of air travel, etc., while I'd like to point out I'm as frustrated as anyone with the intrusive searches of 3-year old children, the never-ending money grab the airlines attempt, etc., I'd also like to focus for just a moment on what is likely the largest problem of them all: the traveling public itself. While the examples I give are based solely on my recent (read: yesterday) travel across this great nation, rest assured they are by no means extreme nor are they isolated to any time or place. These are scenes you will find in virtually any major airport on any given day.
Parking:
Yes, paying $25-plus a day to park sucks. But, Mister "I'm going to bitch out the $9-per-hour parking attendant who has ****-all to do with setting the rate" Whiner, YOU chose to utilize the convenience of terminal parking versus having someone drop you off or taking a shuttle/bus/taxi. And while we're on the subject of taxis, who the **** gives these people licenses? Do they not realize this isn't a live-action version of Grand Theft Auto, and that they are just as susceptible to death and dismemberment as those they are seemingly hell-bent on killing simply because they occupy the space they WANT to be in?
Attire:
I get it that this isn't the 1960's and that people just aren't going to dress up to take a flight, please have the common courtesy to dress better than your normal Sunday morning ball-scratching attire or what one might typically see on People Of Walmart. Is it that ****ing hard to put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that says something other than, "I AM the mother****er" on it? And I will preface this next statement with the disclaimer that I don't have anything against large people, being above average in height/weight ratio. HOWEVER, if you're a 300-lb woman, DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, wear skin-tight yoga pants in public. EVER. And especially DO NOT, EVER, EVER, EVER (!) have the word "JUICY" across your cellulite-ridden ass. No. Just no. You may be comfortable, but Boston airport is now out of barf bags for the foreseeable future.
Security:
Ah, the TSA. I know, they only work there because they couldn't hack it at McDonalds. Gotcha. But trust me, if I were to see half you ****ing mouth-breathers and the shit you pull on a daily basis, I myself would be tempted to have a 4-lb short-handled sledge hammer and practice a little selective Darwinism while ya'll are in the cattle call lines. Have NONE of you flown since 9/11? Are you not aware that liquids are not going through? Then why are you still carrying that bottle of Dasani in your hand, and acting all butt-hurt when Mr. TSA asks you to toss it? How much time are you going to spend folding your jacket just so like you were the Color Guard at Arlington folding the flag at taps? Which brings me to my next subject:
Luggage:
Airlines charging for checked bags? The nerve! Well, sort of. Since when is it necessary to pack 14 bags for a family of four for a week stay in Orlando? Memo to mommy and daddy--you're gonna buy the kiddies a whole shitload of cutesy Minnie, Mickey, and Winnie the Pooh shit they're going to outgrow in six months. Come to think of it, you're gonna buy the same shit for yourself. And you also bitch about lugging it around. Boo ****ing hoo. I packed for a five day trip in a weekender bag that I checked rather than attempted to carry on (and you're very welcome to the $25, American Airlines) and the remainder was my laptop, change of socks/shirt/underwear, necessary prescriptions in case the airline LOSES my bag, and a paperback, all of which fit in a SMALL backpack. You idiots who think you can pack a steamer trunk, tie a string to it, and try to call it carry on luggage should die in a fire. And NO, your luggage should not be considered carry on if you had to use a hydraulic press, sledgehammer, and get a running start at it to get it into the overhead bin.
General Demeanor:
Look, this is the deal--you bought a cheap ass ticket to fly 3000 miles round trip for far less than it would have cost you to drive. Don't bitch and whine because the people in First Class are getting it so much better. Memo: they're really not. Plus, they PAID for those tickets and extra 3 inches of seat width, either in cash or by putting up with your monkey asses back in coach so many times the airline was shamed into letting them fly with the hoi polloi once in a great while (that's "frequent flier", for those of you unawares.) You're on a flying tin can for 4-6 hours with 200 other people. You are NOT special, not entitled to special treatment, and bitching about it only pisses off everyone around you and makes you look like a dick.
So there it is in a nutshell. Don't like flying? Don't fly. If you do, have a modicum of consideration for those around you, otherwise, I might just start naming names.
It's not the crowds I hate, it's the people in them.
