Really, one has to be a Yankee to have a really dark sense of humor.
One week before they arrive hit the book stores [used] and select books about Euthanasia, Abortion is the answer to world problems, and why the Gay population will solve the world population explosion.
Place the books on the table next to the guest bed they will use.
Spend a few hours making up signs in the garage on the line of the Hippie style, Make love not war, Tax the rich, A chicken in every pot.
Head for the mall and get Shirts that read, Obama pays my rent and gives us food stamps.
When the family arrives keep Fox news on 24/7 as you tell them you need to know the Enemy and what they are thinking.
Show no interest in them or family just discuss how you can beat the system with Obama. Tell them how you got out of paying $50,000 on credit cards, got to keep the boat, the house and your summer camp on their taxes. Bankrupt court is great if you know the Judge.
Get all excited about the rally, get out the signs, put on the Shirts, awake them at 4 AM to get to the rally early to get a good seat.
Make fun of the other people and their signs, you be the liberal from hell that makes fun of the street people or the handicapped.--Call them lazy ass folks.
When you get home serve them Prime roast with the explanation that the food stamps had made a mistake and you and family get $1,500 a month for food. Mention in passing that both of you had not worked a day in a year and may get another 18 months of welfare.
Let them know that you have lived mortgage free for 6 months as the lending company cannot find your paper work so at this time no one knows who owns the house.
Keep running down to the cellar with a furtive look then tell them for cash money you have a Meths lab down there and have to make sure it doesn't blow up.
Hang a large black velvet painting of Obama over the fireplace with votive candles under it. This great man allows us to live as we do we have found our GOD.
This is Yankee Hospitality to family that will never visit again.
