doodling primitive has bad Independence Day holiday (to put it mildly)

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x10607

Oh my.

Talk about a world of woes.

The screed is long, but is well worth reading in its entirety.

doodadem  (1000+ posts)      Mon Jul-12-10 01:51 AM
Original message

My Independence Day, by Doodadem

Hi ya'll:

I have not been here for awhile....I went to a very dark place.

I spent all last week in intensive care at the hospital. THAT was all kinds of fun, let me tell you. While I was in there, my husband of 25 years talked them into keeping me an extra 3 days, so that he could sell everything of mine that was not embedded in concrete for pennies on the dollar, loaded the rest in my truck and horse trailer, and lit out for parts unknown.

He totaled the nice little Saturn I had bought him brand new a few years ago, in April. That apparently entitled him to take my rig, and leave me with no transportation whatsoever.

His Census supervisor buddy up the road bought my tractor, all of the attachments (bushhog, blade, auger), my new riding lawnmower, and two expensive chainsaws, for a pittance. I need that equipment to run the farm. She is also saying, yeah--I knew you were in intensive care in the hospital (he apparently called her even before he called 911 on Sun.), but screw you, I got mine and you're not getting them back. Some of my sister's (deceased) gold jewelry also looks to be missing, along with a whole lot of other stuff. HE STOLE MY DRESSAGE SADDLE. I can't even ride. That was just plainly vindictive.

25 years of marriage, together for 26......... Everything was great as long as I was making the 6-figure income and buying him everything he wanted, including a new car every time he totaled one (I think it was 6).

He also sold, for $22, 22 of my rare breed laying hens. I'm still trying to get my daggone chickens back. They are pets, they all have names. It took me forever to track them down. He told this old couple that I had died. I said, I will give you your $22 back and free eggs for life. They don't care. 22 rare breed laying hens, and he sold them for less than a buck a piece. I supply about 5 families with free eggs, plus feed my cats, dogs, and myself. Plus, they left the door to the coop/pen open, and all the little bantams they declined to take got out for the coyotes.

They also left my back gate open, and the Toulouse goose and Larry, everybody's favorite Guinea, got so scared at being out in the dark, they came into the yard, and the dogs got them.

He tried to sell the mini-donkeys, and one of my good friends talked him out of trying to sell the horses (for which I would definitely have tracked him to the ends of the earth and killed him), because there is NO market right now. My buddy/part-time farmhand came in the next morning after he'd split and found the horses with no water in 100+ degree heat. He would not let my friends water my vegetable or flower gardens. He was trying to make sure I was left with absolutely nothing.

The main problem is going to be that Calif. is a community property state. But that also means, anything that he sold, I was supposed to get half of. He stole all of it, including both bank accounts. He cleaned out the personal account, then went thru my purse and found my check card and pin # for the business, and tried to clean that out. They wouldn't let him have all of it. He's not even authorized on the account. The only money I have right now is what some of my very good friends sent me. One of them also made the downpayment on my divorce.

Of course, he claims he left me just enough money for a plane ticket back to my brother's, the one time I got him on his cell phone. I said, why the hell would I want to go there. He said, I'm not leaving you any choice--you have to go live with your brother and sleep on his couch. I said, you would think, after all these years, you would know, !) Don't tell me what to do, and 2) Don't tell me what I cannot do. He's trying to make sure I lose the farm.

So I'm going to have to bust my butt more than I already was, and try to make a pile of money again. While also taking care of everything to do with the farm (which I pretty much did already), plus file for divorce, file for bankruptcy, deal with health issues, AND finish up with this same lawsuit that's been dragging on for the past 5 years that I've written about several times here.

A huge factor in what happened was how much the husband changed since he lost his job two years ago. He's been riding a rocket downhill. We had progressed from mental and verbal abuse, to physical. Constant screaming. He could not talk to me in a normal tone of voice anymore. And if I wouldn't stand still to be screamed at, he would grab me and hold me, or block the door and shove me back so I couldn't escape. He's 6'4", I'm 5'6". That's why I always kind of laughed when people would say, he is just the happiest/nicest guy in the world.

I'm actually feeling pretty good about that constant stress being gone. I kept telling him to leave when he would go on about how much he hated this place. Apparently he saw his chance. I said more times than I can count over the past few years--if people knew what you were really like, they'd have nothing to do with you. He was really good at playing the game. He let the mask slip every once in awhile though.......snd scared the few people that have seen it, shitless.

We were in the middle of doing a mortgage loan modification, so don't know what they're going to say about all this. I'm not losing my farm. Its what keeps me going. Its my sanctuary.

I guess you have to ask.......why were you in intensive care? I, um......took 3 full bottle of Vicodin. And the rest of my antidepressants for dessert. I'm life long manic-depressive/bipolar, as is/was everyone else in my family. The husband knew this, but never wanted to hear about it. Never wanted to deal with it. Just kept maximizing the stress as much as possible.

So that was my Independence Day......Independence Week......or How I Spent My Summer Vacation. There's an awful lot to deal with here, all of it dumped on me, but please--no lectures.

knowbody0  (1000+ posts)      Mon Jul-12-10 02:32 AM
Response to Original message
 
1. holy crapola!

what a schmuck, good riddance,eh? good luck to you and your marvelous sounding estate, may it be the inspiration to keep you going. hopefully without him constantly robbing you of good energy, you will find you're even more powerful than you knew.

mopinko   (1000+ posts)        Mon Jul-12-10 03:46 PM
THE HYPOCHONDRIAL PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message

2. ditto what nobody said. holy crapola

good riddance, and whatever you do, don't take him back when he comes slinking to your door. cuz i bet he will.

and what a bad time for this to happen. the state of california should be there to track this schmuck down, but i bet the resources to do that are pretty strained.

hope you can keep the farm, and get some restitution out of this jerk. he sounds like he has a drinking problem? 6 totaled cars, how else would that happen? maybe he will get some help without you to focus on. hopefully he is taking a good hard look in the mirror now.

wow, just wow.

Tobin S.  (1000+ posts)      Mon Jul-12-10 05:22 PM
THE DROOPY DRAWERS PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #2

3. "Don't take him back when he comes slinking to your door. cuz i bet he will."

Yes, yes, yes. That asshole sounds like he's been doing all the taking and none of the giving. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't really know how to take care of himself, and after leaching off doodadem for so long I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he tries to get back into her life.

Get a restraining order, doodadem, and get that jerk arrested if he ever shows up again. I'd keep a weapon handy, too, because he might not take no for an answer if he comes knocking.

That rectal aperture sounds like the primitives on Skins's island.

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Wed Jul-14-10 03:43 AM
DOUG'S STUPID EX-WIFE, #03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

4. Doug used to do that shit.

He'd get into a state and decide he was leaving, destroy everything he couldn't sell and empty out our accounts which usually only had my earnings in them.

I'm STILL ANGRY over stuff of mine he destroyed. And I'm STILL glad that stress is out of my life.

Did you get your chickens back? Argh. Once he took my dog and cat to the pound whie I was at work. ASSHOLES.

It seems the last "good day" the primitives ever had was election day 2008.

[Thor]

Even DUmmies have spouses that **** them over and leave them with little or nothing.........

[formerlurker]

Well that was depressing as hell.  Lots of story untold here. 

[Texacon]

I can't believe the DUmmies aren't jumping for joy.  Here's a person who admits they made "6 figures", owned a seemingly nice farm, had money in the bank .... and now they are in a position to lose everything they hold dear.

Seems like a DUmmies wet dream to me.

To doodadem; I hope you get back on your feet, get to keep your farm and get back your obviously fantastic job! Good luck to you.  Next time marry a conservative.  We work for what we want ... we don't live off our women.

KC

[docstew]

Even DUmmies have spouses that **** them over and leave them with little or nothing.........

+1

[Carl]

Well that was depressing as hell.  Lots of story untold here. 

You got that right,just too perfect in its woes.

My guess from the story is a max out the credit cards for junk person that was always spaced out or psycho...the husband had to finally liquidate everything to keep from losing the house to foreclosure.

Finally accepted reality when it tried to kill itself.

[dandi]

To doodadem; I hope you get back on your feet, get to keep your farm and get back your obviously fantastic job! Good luck to you.  Next time marry a conservative.  We work for what we want ... we don't live off our women.

KC

Considering this DUmbass spent several days in the hospital after swallowing quite the pharma cocktail, any element of this story is taken with a huge grain of salt.

[zeitgeist]

You got that right,just too perfect in its woes.

My guess from the story is a max out the credit cards for junk person that was always spaced out or psycho...the husband had to finally liquidate everything to keep from losing the house to foreclosure.

Finally accepted reality when it tried to kill itself.

I think you are on the right track here. Co-dependent spousal unit saw the chance to make the break.  

I guess you have to ask.......why were you in intensive care? I, um......took 3 full bottle of Vicodin. And the rest of my antidepressants for dessert. I'm life long manic-depressive/bipolar, as is/was everyone else in my family. The husband knew this, but never wanted to hear about it. Never wanted to deal with it. Just kept maximizing the stress as much as possible.

[Texacon]

Considering this DUmbass spent several days in the hospital after swallowing quite the pharma cocktail, any element of this story is taken with a huge grain of salt.

But of course. 

KC

[Boudicca]

Even if this poster was hopped up on pills or booze or whatever, IF what she claims is true, her hubby did her a terrible wrong.  And if so, I hope his d**k experiences a karmic shrinkage that has nothing to do with water immersion.
Probably most of us have been screwed over by a supposed loved one in our lives, but rarely on such an epic scale.  Assuming, of course, that she's not concocting an epic bouncy.

[Ballygrl]

Even if this poster was hopped up on pills or booze or whatever, IF what she claims is true, her hubby did her a terrible wrong.  And if so, I hope his d**k experiences a karmic shrinkage that has nothing to do with water immersion.
Probably most of us have been screwed over by a supposed loved one in our lives, but rarely on such an epic scale.  Assuming, of course, that she's not concocting an epic bouncy.

ITA, if he did this? he's scum. Just curious though, how could he clean her bank account out? hubby and I have joint accounts and to remove money other then via the ATM we need both signatures.

Oh, and here's hoping she feels better soon.

[Boudicca]

ITA, if he did this? he's scum. Just curious though, how could he clean her bank account out? hubby and I have joint accounts and to remove money other then via the ATM we need both signatures.

Oh, and here's hoping she feels better soon.

Dayum, not DH and myself.  I go in all the time and nearly empty out our accounts without his sayso.
There's several thousand in savings for a few more weeks and then I'm going in to remove it for our happy happy joy joy trip to Las Vegas.  His signature isn't required.
I don't have an ATM card, or a debit card.  I figure if I have to go through the process of going up to a teller to withdraw money it makes it more real...as for debit cards, I've watched both my kids rack up untold amounts of penalties for going voer their checking ac**** amounts by half a dollar or whatever.  I keep close track of my money, but NOT that good.  Credit cards are easier.
I'm inclined to believe the poster that her husband was such a jerkwad.  Either that or she deserves a Pulitzer for such a detailed and dark story.

[franksolich]

Assuming, of course, that she's not concocting an epic bouncy.

I don't think it's a bouncy, madam, but I strongly suspect she left a great deal out of her tale of woe.

Left more out, than what she put in.

Also, I have the sense this stuff took place over a period of time longer than just when she was in the nut ward.

[Boudicca]

I don't think it's a bouncy, madam, but I strongly suspect she left a great deal out of her tale of woe.

Left more out, than what she put in.

Also, I have the sense this stuff took place over a period of time longer than just when she was in the nut ward.

Do the primitives EVER tell the entire story sir?  One strongly suspects no.

[franksolich]

Do the primitives EVER tell the entire story?  One strongly suspects no.

No; only the parts of the story that favors them, and also they exaggerate their woes.

Remember, one of the chief characteristics of a primitive is that a primitive must always be a victim.

That's one of their main characteristics, being a victim.

[longview]

Anyone with mental illness has my sympathy, but I'm betting there is a whole lot more here than this gal is telling or can even be aware of.  Kind of seems a little manicky with a good dose of grandiose added.  Kind of fits the Dx, too.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Dear DUmmie,

Well, I guess taking three bottles of Vicodin instead of calling the cops on his ass for assault was a really bad ****ing choice, wasn't it?  What did you expect to happen to all that stuff when you decided to kill yourself, did you think he was suddenly going to become financially responsible, or use it all to set up a shrine to your memory?  None of that stuff mattered to you when you tried to snuff it, did it?

But, look on the bright side, it did turn out better than you expected, since although broke, you are still alive to care about being broke.

[Lacarnut]

Anyone with mental illness has my sympathy, 

Same here but she might be better off getting rid of his ass if this is a true story. I am still laughing about him selling the chickens for 22 bucks. That is too damn funny.

[JLO]

Well that was depressing as hell.  Lots of story untold here. 

Indeed it was.  I have a pal with that bipolar mood disorder.  She calls to cry when she's down.  Yet when she's on an upswing - nothing - she's having too much fun.  I would think she posts at DU, but she is apolitical as far as I know.

 

[Karin]

Once the abuse goes physical, he should have been in jail.  I hope doodadem lands on her feet, as well.  That seems like a long journey, though. 
Texacon said:

Next time marry a conservative.  We work for what we want ... we don't live off our women.

  +1   There is no room on a farm for DUmmiehood.  Too damn much work to do. 

[vesta111]

    Himmmmm this is a what would you do in this circumstance as a woman.

First these things do not come up over night, there has to be a gradual build up to any man acting this way.

Regardless of what the build up was and his or her actions were at the time, this woman needs help now TODAY.

What can a woman do in this case,??

  The woman wants to keep her farm, I understand that.  She feels helpless that I can also understand.  Most of what she says she has worked for has been stolen by a creepy husband, that I can understand.

This happens every day to both men and woman that keep their eyes closed in order to keep the peace and to pretend that things will change.

So that was the past, mistakes were made due to the desire to believe they are loved. Today reality hits, the person believes they were taken by a sweet talking partner.

Vengeance is mine says the Lord, but the Lord expects you to help your self.

One who goes out and kills those that harm them are crazy, to get back what is due has to keep the malefactor alive and make their life miserable.

Me I would sell the frigging farm and take the money to track down the SOB.  Spend some of the money on a PI to track him and mess up each and every relationship he has.

Very little money would be needed to have drugs planted in his car, what ever job he got could be ended with word of mouth.

So the SOB moves across country, follow him, find him and destroy him.

Then get a job flipping burgers, live in your car for 2 years until you can afford to buy another farm, start over and buy more chickens.

This is survival, to stay alive one has to get mean and nasty at times.

[delilahmused]

Just because it's a community property state doesn't mean she has to lose the farm. She can buy out his share. And if it's SHE and not THEY who bought the farm equipment and she can prove it (since it appears she's the farmer), I think I'd call the police and press charges for stealing. If the neighbors knew the situation, knew the equipment was hers and bought it anyway they're guilty of knowingly receiving stolen property. If this story is true, I'd pursue this with every fiber of my being.

Still, how can someone be married to a man for 25 years and not know what he's like? Unless he has something like a brain tumor or something else impacting his brain a person just doesn't become violent over night.

Still, how does one acquire 3 bottles of Vicodin? Interesting someone can be suicidal (a very selfish act) and then determined to fight a week later. If she was having a major depressive disorder shouldn't she have been given some psychiatric help? Don't know about CA but in most states can't you have someone committed for being a danger to herself or others? If you're this depressed you're not just going to sail into your manic phase and be able to take on the world because finding your husband gone, your stuff sold, and your animals uncared for is going to send you into a tailspin. If you're swallowing meds like they were skittles you're going to have to be monitored very carefully while you find meds that do work and work yourself up into therapeutic doses.

Cindie

[Boudicca]

Still, how does one acquire 3 bottles of Vicodin?


Hmm, I betcha lots of the DUmmies could answer that question.

[Revolution]

Still, how does one acquire 3 bottles of Vicodin?


Hmm, I betcha lots of the DUmmies could answer that question.

Best guess would be illegally.