You might be a Yankee if...
Let me see...
1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
>> day in/day out -- Yankee
2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
>> Nope - Southern
3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
>>Yankee
4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
>>Southern (but with gravy, not sweet -- does that count?)
5) You don't know what a moon pie is.
>>Southern -- LOVE 'EM (but I can't have 'em any more)
6) You've never had grain alcohol.
>>Southern -- too bad I can't remember much about it...
7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
>>Southern -- sorta. nasty stuff that is full of nose gunk, even fried
8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
>>Southern -- NEVER
9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
>>Southern (by this criteria) but I travel for a living
10) You have no idea what a polecat is.
>>Southern
11) Whenever someone tells an off*color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
>>Southern
12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
>>SOUTHERN
13) You don't have bangs.
>>Southern
14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
>>Yankee -- only because I have a fear of heights and so I don't like roller coasters
15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
>>n/a -- Californian so East Coast reference are meaningless
16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
>>Yankee
17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
>>Yankee but I start picking up the "You'all" and "all You'll" and "I'm fixin' to" after a few months in Southern climes
18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
>>Southern
19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun*and*knife show.
>>Yankee
20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
>>Tie
21) You don't have at least one can of WD*40 somewhere around the house.
>>Southern
22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on An on*ramp on the highway.
>>Yankee
23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
>>Yankee
24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
>>Southern
25) You call binoculars opera glasses.
>>Southern
26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
>>Southern
27) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt.
>>Southern
28) You don't know what appliqued is.
>>Southern
29) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
>>Southern
30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Bubba Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
>>Yankee
31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
>>Southern
32) You've never been to a craft show.
>>Southern
33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
>>Southern
34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.
>>Southern
35) None of your fur coats are homemade.
>>Yankee
Now I am too tired to count but it seems I have been heavily influenced by my time in The South.
