DUmmies Discuss Holiday Celebrations With The Family (update 01-04)

[GOBUCKS]

This may have been posted before, but it's an interesting update anyway. This is where poor stupid Beth describes the trailer in the desert she was forced to move into when she lost her apartment in San Francisco. Mom must have been overjoyed to have crazy Beth and her dogs come piling into her little camper after 14 years of solitude. And now Beth's equally crazy brother has joined them, since he's "between jobs". Anyway, Beth mentioned four televisions, so this must be a crowded camper indeed.

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Sat Oct-17-09 04:24 AM
Original message
Unintended consequences of mental illness. Did I ever tell you guys 
how Mom wound up out here in the hills?

My cousin had just had his onset of schizophrenia and was processing out from a couple of weeks at Stanford Hospital. (And to get this story, you have to know that my cousins are like my siblings. Our parents all parented all of us, we all fought and played and partied with each other, all 27 of us.) And Mom reads in the paper that wild horses are being offered up for adoption as an alternative to being put down by some agency in SoCal.

So, waiting for him to pack his stuff up, Mom tells my cousin, "Animals can be very healing. Maybe we could adopt one of these horses and you could take care of it."

"Auntie Rosie, if you want to buy a horse, buy it for you. Don't buy a horse for me because you want one because I don't want one."

Mom got so annoyed with him, she bought a rescue horse for herself just to show him she could buy a horse for herself. And she boarded it just up the hill from here for two years. Then, it got to be a hassle, driving the fifteen miles every day to tend to the horse and never having much time with it.

So, then she started looking for a place closer to the horse. A house, a condo, a space to put a mobile home, anything. And then one day we saw this place up for sale for the back taxes. It was a miserable junk heap, 20 abused acres 'way up in the foothills. The tenant had ostensibly had an auto repair business but everyone (but us) knew that he had cock fights here every weekend. It was either that or the sheriff just couldn't find him to serve him for twenty years. And the area where he had his "shop" was a toxic waste dump that took 20 years to cook.

After Mom bought the property, we found out that the tax people had been charging the previous owner the wrong, higher commercial rate for years. But, that's another story.

When Mom moved up here -- after the six months it took to evict the creepy cock fighting guy, which involved someone calling us to say he'd been sighted and then one of us rushing up here from our downtown office to serve him in the days before cell phones -- there was a falling down house with a bunch of wild chickens nesting in it, there was a mostly standing shed packed to the rafters with old car parts, old stereos and chicken feathers, the makings of cock pens and gallons and gallons of used motor oil. There were the remains of a small arena, complete with signs that advertised beer and snacks you could buy before the cock fights started.

There was one curly willow, one grave marked only with river stones and a very dirty stream.

There were no utilities. No gas, no electricity, no city water. There was one old silver AirStream with nothing working in it except some field mice. It turned out to be stolen twice over, lol.

Well, Mom sold her house in Sunnyvale and bought this place and she lived in that AirStream until she found a mobile home she could park here while she wrestled the country for permits to build a house. She was 62 when she started this project in 1995. That was 14 years ago.

There's still no house here. There is a nice arena and stabling for her two horses and there are six boarders pasturing here. Mom's still in the "contractor's trailer", the mobile home. She has an office here but it still looks like she's camping although there's a water association and a PG&E pole and a gas delivery every 3 months and a big ugly Comcast dish hidden out behind my studio. Oddly enough, she's decided to put an assisted living facility here and the county seems much more amenable to helping her with that than when she was just planning to put a few McMansions up here with the stables as a hook.

Unintended consequences. I need to remind my cousin that this is all his idea. 

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x9970

[dandi]

And these are the people who want to remake our society into their image? Geez. Why is it that liberals seem to be the most depressed, depressing people on the planet?

What's amazing is that they believe happy, well-adjusted people, i.e. conservatives, are that way only because we're too ignorant to realize how much our lives actually suck

[BlueStateSaint]

What's amazing is that they believe happy, well-adjusted people, i.e. conservatives, are that way only because we're too ignorant to realize how much our lives actually suck

Thing is, if I was a lefty, my life would suck.  I'd probably still be drinking--maybe even "enhanced" it by now.

[The Village Idiot]

I yell at pierogi dough -- does that count as violent baking? 

Healthcare reform is meaningless without mental health for food!!

[GOBUCKS]

This update is from GD, not the nuthatch, but the contributors are no less DUmmyesque:

HipChick (1000+ posts)        Wed Dec-23-09 11:59 PM
Original message
Who is spending Xmas alone?
well, I blew off spending xmas with my family, and then the weather screwed up my travel plans, so I get to spend xmas alone, because my family are still pissed off at me. I'm the only unmarried child with no kids, and the only one that has been to college, let alone graduate from high school. I'm religious apathetic, cant stand organized religions - my family would insist I go to church. Politics is a no-go, its Fox 24/7, any challenges end up in a shouting match. I loathe the holidays. I'll probably stock up on Popeyes chicken for Xmas day. I got coupons..I hate xmas

Archae (1000+ posts)        Thu Dec-24-09 12:12 AM
Response to Original message
2. Here.
Saturday afternoon we are having a party at my niece's house.
But tomorrow and the next, I'll be here with my meowers.

I don't mind.

Less chances for arguments, also.

Archae (1000+ posts)        Thu Dec-24-09 12:56 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. For me it's my Dad.
 VERY opinionated, makes the Freepers look like liberals, going deaf so he gets loud a lot.

He's outnumbered though big time.
So he gets louder. 

 

BuelahWitch  (1000+ posts)      Thu Dec-24-09 12:38 AM
Response to Original message
4. I've spent Christmas alone for the better part of the last 10 years
except for those times I had to work. I don't mind, I don't have to keep to anyone else's schedule and the cat doesn't bitch about anything (unless I don't give her bites, THEN she bitches!). I make a chicken since it's just me and it usually turns out pretty good.

Digit  (1000+ posts)      Thu Dec-24-09 12:53 AM
Response to Original message
6. Me too
My daughter invited me over to her BF's family home, but there is no way in hell I want to meet them.
They insult my daughter, drink heavily EVERY night and are all around obnoxious.
My daughter doesn't drink much and I have told her she is MORE than welcome to live here at home, but for now she is staying with the bum boyfriend.
I would definitely speak my mind if I were there, and that is not how I wish to spend Christmas.

 

rrneck  (1000+ posts)        Thu Dec-24-09 12:54 AM
Response to Original message
7. I'm going to work. And I like it like that. 

 

jonnyblitz  (1000+ posts)      Thu Dec-24-09 01:07 AM
Response to Original message
10.  i loathe from thanksgiving to jan 2. I won't be alone but where i 
am we don't celebrate xmas, no tree,etc. I am an atheist. I DO wish people happy holidays and i don't spend lots of time complaining about it. I am only telling you this because you asked. 

 

I guess we should not be surprised by how may DUmmies are shunned by their families.

[The Village Idiot]

How old is Hipchick?

She sounds like she could use a man. lol.

Really, I mean she can't read her own posts? Does she know how pathetic she sounds? She chose her own course and she is alone at Christmas, hateful of faith, looking for coupons for fried chicken. Is Popeye's open on Christmas? I thought only Denny's did that? She is so bitter, lonely, hateful and holier than thou at the same time. She can't see any irony in that at all either I bet.

[DumbAss Tanker]

How old is Hipchick?

She sounds like she could use a man. lol.

I'm betting she's like the rest of the damaged goods in that shop, and there's one or more perfectly good reasons why there isn't a (sane) guy in the picture with her.

[The Village Idiot]

I'm betting she's like the rest of the damaged goods in that shop, and there's one or more perfectly good reasons why there isn't a (sane) guy in the picture with her.

From the post I can see why it might be hard to find someone "special".

[franksolich]

Updates:

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Fri Jan-01-10 12:06 AM
DOUG'S EX-WIFE; #03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

41. Happy New Year, loves.

I'm cooking for Mom tonight, just some humble eggplant. There's a big moon to walk the dogs with. Got another letter from my younger son yesterday, a long lovely letter. Other than the fact that this generic prozac doesn't seem to be doing anything, things are calm here.

mopinko  (1000+ posts)        Fri Jan-01-10 10:53 PM
THE HYPOCHONDRIAL PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message

42. phew- 4 parties in 2 days. damn. not dead yet. 

happy new year all. best to you all.

the people who have to struggle mightily to achieve what so many take for granted are my heroes.

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Sat Jan-02-10 10:32 PM
DOUG'S EX-WIFE; #03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Reply #42

45. Power partying! 

I salute the members of this forum who made it to January 2 (myself included).

Today, I washed that season right outta my hair, did up the studio and played Scrabble while finishing up the last of the last, gingerbread house for the niece people. It's not finished but is ready for the barn raising in the morning.

Mom has been my go-between to family here from El Salvador and other foreign points. When I'm 77, I want to go to a party a day like she does. And we've completely flipped our roles. "Don't be home too late, young lady". "Stop nagging at me".

Yeah, yeah.

Lorien  (1000+ posts)      Sat Jan-02-10 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
 
43. An exhausting end to another difficult year

I forced myself to be social on Christmas day, though I haven't wanted to talk much to anyone since at least Thanksgiving. I'm still reeling from my friend Palin's death, which was such a horrible, tragic, pointless waste. I'm still searching desperately for some kind of social services that offers basic mental health care. I can't afford meds or a doctor, so I'm looking for any special programs that I could enroll in now that I'm living below the poverty line.

I have some paperwork to apply for "help" with the cost of Wellbutrin through a program that appears to be underwritten by Big Pharma. If I don't do something quickly I'll be out of work completely. Not only is work nearly impossible to find, but it takes me for bloody ever to complete it when I do find it because my ADD, CFS and depression has become so severe.

I live in a "purple" state where disability isn't an option for anyone with an IQ over 90 who can sit upright for four hours and punch a keyboard. The disabled are generally forced enter the ranks of the homeless here in Florida. There's even three paralyzed guys in wheelchairs living on the streets around my neighborhood-the State has no compassion for them whatsoever (this is the city that has made it a crime to feed the homeless, after all). They offer the less than fortunate ZIP. So it's get-better-or-lose-it-all time right now. Needless to say, I don't sleep much anymore.

blues90  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jan-03-10 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
 
46. We did make through the holidays 

I was not into them as always. On Nov 10th I turned another year older , didn't need that then thanksgiving came an we bought a premade dinner , then on Dec 8th my wife turned another year older them we battled with X-mas . We got everything to make the meal but did not do it until the 26th . Played the traditional X-mas music to get in the spirt and now that's it's over I miss it , there is nothing left to look forward to. I go through this cycle every year.

It seems only when we have to face something and work as a team that we are both ok. We just have to work on getting out of this apt and that is the big step , a real big step.

I wish we could just move somewhere and see a different view , breath different air . something, anything.

EFerrari  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jan-03-10 05:24 PM
DOUG'S EX-WIFE; #03 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Reply #46

47. I think of Jan 2 as a few weeks away from baseball.

What's the deal with the apartment, blues?

blues90  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jan-03-10 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #47
 
48. the apt , we have been here since 1981 

Everything around us has changed into new horrific buildings and everyone we did know moved away years ago. It is difficult to go outside on the same streets when everything has changed from when we had good times here. In this area in the heart of Hollywood everyone moves in and out and it's really for the young.

I see an old building one day and the next a bare lot with a chain link fence and forget what was there and the bare spot may stay that way for years.

I am not good with change like this. I guess it's all part of getting old or rather being old.

[GOBUCKS]

Got another letter from my younger son yesterday, a long lovely letter.

He has lots of time to write in the slammer.

[Texacon]

Lorien  (1000+ posts)      Sat Jan-02-10 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
 
43. An exhausting end to another difficult year

I forced myself to be social on Christmas day, though I haven't wanted to talk much to anyone since at least Thanksgiving. I'm still reeling from my friend Palin's death, which was such a horrible, tragic, pointless waste. I'm still searching desperately for some kind of social services that offers basic mental health care. I can't afford meds or a doctor, so I'm looking for any special programs that I could enroll in now that I'm living below the poverty line.

I have some paperwork to apply for "help" with the cost of Wellbutrin through a program that appears to be underwritten by Big Pharma. If I don't do something quickly I'll be out of work completely. Not only is work nearly impossible to find, but it takes me for bloody ever to complete it when I do find it because my ADD, CFS and depression has become so severe.

I live in a "purple" state where disability isn't an option for anyone with an IQ over 90 who can sit upright for four hours and punch a keyboard. The disabled are generally forced enter the ranks of the homeless here in Florida. There's even three paralyzed guys in wheelchairs living on the streets around my neighborhood-the State has no compassion for them whatsoever (this is the city that has made it a crime to feed the homeless, after all). They offer the less than fortunate ZIP. So it's get-better-or-lose-it-all time right now. Needless to say, I don't sleep much anymore.

This person is EXACTLY why it should be incredibly difficult to get on disability.

KC

[franksolich]

This person is EXACTLY why it should be incredibly difficult to get on disability.

The lying lorien primitive is the one who alleged in 2007 to have seen big bad white cops with big bad night-clubs keeping blacks away from the polls in Florida in November 2000.

The lying lorien primitive had heretofore never mentioned this phenomenon.

The lying lorien primitive, who lives in Florida and is approaching 50 years of age, is a toucher-up for Disney films, or at least used to be.  She allegedly has a Ph.D. in an unrelated field, perhaps women's studies or something.

She's very similar to that one mad woman professor from Arizona or Oregon, who stalked that one guy's kid some years ago.

[GOBUCKS]

As soon as DUmmy Lorien gets that bottle of welfare Wellbutrin, she should take the entire bottle in one dose, washed down with a fifth of Wild Turkey.

[The Village Idiot]

you made it to Jan 2

congrats

what a hard thing to do

so unpossible

[Ree]

As soon as DUmmy Lorien gets that bottle of welfare Wellbutrin, she should take the entire bottle in one dose, washed down with a fifth of Wild Turkey.

All that would do is make it hyper as hell

[crockspot]

It's funny. I come from a very large extended Italian and Irish family. A lot of religious and political diversity. Roman and Lace Curtain Catholics, Mormons, Adventists, Jehovas, you name it... working class conservatives... political machine alderman liberals, the kind of a family you would think would dread holidays. My father was perhaps the biggest ass in the entire group, and I cannot recall a period of time while he was alive that there was not someone in the family who was refusing to speak to him.

But holidays were never a source of stress for me. Any big family gatherings for that matter. We may have fought like cats and dogs, but we were bound by blood and love, and we tolerated each other's differences for the most part.

The past few years I have spent the holidays more or less alone. If I were a DUmmy, I guess I would be in heaven. But you know what? I miss visiting with my huge family.. the great food.. the incessant teasing of cousins.. the war stories of my uncles.. the tales of hardship during the Great Depression and WWII...

How selfish and miserable must these DUmmies be?

[Karin]

I have some paperwork to apply for "help" with the cost of Wellbutrin through a program that appears to be underwritten by Big Pharma.

I'm interpreting this to mean something so disgusting that it's out of the question; similar to how Ladyhawk views her free mental health counseling by a fundie freeper psychologist.   

BTW, what's CFS?  She's blaming everything on that, plus ADD, plus depression.  She'd better get her ass in gear, it doesn't sound like there's any free ponies where she is. 

[TheSarge]

I'm interpreting this to mean something so disgusting that it's out of the question; similar to how Ladyhawk views her free mental health counseling by a fundie freeper psychologist.   

BTW, what's CFS?   She's blaming everything on that, plus ADD, plus depression.  She'd better get her ass in gear, it doesn't sound like there's any free ponies where she is. 

CFS = Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

[crockspot]

CFS = Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

LOL, oh, you mean that tiredness that most normal people feel after working their asses off all day every day for their entire lives?

[TheSarge]

LOL, oh, you mean that tiredness that most normal people feel after working their asses off all day every day for their entire lives?

Yup there's a clinical medical diagnosis for it now.  So I guess most of the DUmmies really DO have an excuse for why they don't get off their ass and DO something.

[crockspot]

Yup there's a clinical medical diagnosis for it now.  So I guess most of the DUmmies really DO have an excuse for why they don't get off their ass and DO something.

OK, this is purely anecdotal, but I think I have a cure for it. It's called work. I've been unemployed since March, and the longer I sit around doing squat, the more generally tired and low energy I feel. My old job may be calling me back here in the next week or so, and all of a sudden, I feel much perkier.

[The Village Idiot]

How selfish and miserable must these DUmmies be?

More and more everyday

[happy1ga]

WOW. I have a slew of health problems, struggle with depression, not a big fan of the holidays, but these people make me seem downright fraking giddy! What's with all the Bi-polar, Aspergers, CFS labels thrown around? Dayum. I do have a 3 letter diagnosis for my health issues. TBI-traumatic brain injury. It isnt an "organic" disorder. You get it just like you think you would. Brain trauma. These people want to be sick. They seem to marinate in it.

BTW, Wellbutrin is not that expensive, most DR's will give tons of samples, and there are even cheaper SSRI's that work just as well. Man, theze ppl are cheap.

[blitzkrieg_17]

WOW. I have a slew of health problems, struggle with depression, not a big fan of the holidays, but these people make me seem downright fraking giddy! What's with all the Bi-polar, Aspergers, CFS labels thrown around? Dayum. I do have a 3 letter diagnosis for my health issues. TBI-traumatic brain injury. It isnt an "organic" disorder. You get it just like you think you would. Brain trauma. These people want to be sick. They seem to marinate in it.

BTW, Wellbutrin is not that expensive, most DR's will give tons of samples, and there are even cheaper SSRI's that work just as well. Man, theze ppl are cheap.

I had some shitty times health-wise long ago, and I hated being weak and dependant. It makes no sense to me.

[happy1ga]

Being sick is awful! It has been a very rough year for me, healthwise, which has made me somewhat depressed. However, those people wear it like a badge of honor. Who's the most deprived, sickest, most unloved, etc. I dont want people feeling sorry for me. That's just weird. This goes to the jist of all their problems, I believe. Mental health. After that, it's just a runaway mine car to hell.