This thread comes to us from the DUmp's mental health forum, a place with little evidence of mental health. It generates some jaw-dropping threads, but moves along very slowly. This thread starts before Thanksgiving, and was still drawing an occasional response today. If you feel the Christmas spirit is getting out of control in your life, just check with these loony bin DUmmies and your holiday joy will be tempered. I don't recall having seen this thread before - apologies in advance if it's a dupe - so here goes:
Poor, stupid Beth is in a celebratory mood, anticipating a prescription for some legal drugs:
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-17-09 12:23 AM
Original message
Is anyone interested in a little pre-holiday check in?
I can go first.
Here on the ranch since August and it's been easier than I thought it would be. And four days until I get to see a real doc for the first time in three years. The answer to "do I really need my depression and anxiety meds" is yes. lol
I'm not sure I'll be doing the holidays this year although I have been cooking and baking again and a lot lately, and that's been good to do. Mostly just trying to walk the day, day by day.
In a way, it's easier to do that up here because there is so much prompting from others where in the city, I didn't have a lot of stuff coming in from the outside to deal with.
I don't really have a plan for the holidays right now. Mom is super invested in us all getting together because she rightfully feels mortal at 77. My brother has all kinds of hell breaking loose on him but seems sort of oblivious to the rest of us. I don't think I'm up for being the glue just now. There's a balancing act in there somewhere.
But in any case, it's nice to be able to check in.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x10068Can you imagine being in a family where Beth Ferrari served as its "glue"?
DUmmies like Forkboy have families, they just aren't invited to family get togethers.
Forkboy (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-17-09 07:59 AM
1. There's holidays coming up?
There's nothing going on here, no plans to get together with anyone, no turkey....good times! I'm going to make a crock pot full of sauce and meatballs and have spaghetti and listen to obnoxious music all day.
So pretty much what I always do.
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-17-09 12:33 PM
3. That sounds really good.
I think I may make a list of movies to rent or even, splurge on a NetFlix subscription for the duration.
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-17-09 12:35 PM
4. What is the guilt over? I feel some guilt about potentially making Mom unhappy
if I decide not to serve this year. I honestly don't think I could get through it without a fifth in my apron and then, maybe no one else will get through it. LOL
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Fri Nov-20-09 06:29 PM
7. Got to see a (good) doc today, first time in three years.
Meds soon.
Happy dance.
The meds, along with that fifth in the apron, should make for a happy holiday.
How's this for a happy family?
blues90 (1000+ posts) Sat Nov-21-09 05:39 PM
10. Oh man the holidays .
Last year my wife and I did the turkey dinner for both thanksgiving and X-mas . Well she made the dinner , I carved and cleaned up everything.
She makes the best dinners.
We are both depressed people. We both deal with panic and anxiety but it affects us differently.
We have been on just about every med and nothing really worked , they just seem to numb everything.
This year we are not going to do the thanksgiving dinner. It is sort of depressing but the stress for her is too much this time.
We used to know everyone in the 10 unit building we live in since 1982 . All who are left are two ladies both our age in their 60's , one is a over the top in everyones business and the other thinks the world of herself. We used to know many people up and down our street, all have either died or moved years ago.
We have no relatives here or no children of our own.
I think the worst part is remembering past years and the feeling of holiday spirit that seems long gone these days.
Last year was the best we had in many years and mainly because my wife made it so through her efforts and this got me going so I cleaned the entire apt while she cooked.
This year a dark cloud seemed to roll in.
If we did not have our cats we would pack up and do a road trip of some sort just to get a different view.
we have not been 50 miles from home in 15 years at least.
Sorry to bring in the depressing ring.
Mr. and Mrs. bluesnumbers should not do a turkey. They should both just stick their heads in the oven.
DUmmy mopinko deserves consideration for DUmmy of the Year. As awful as this description of her family life is, remember it, because these are the good times. She will post a few days later with a totally different situation:
mopinko (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 08:57 AM
15. there will be a hole in my holidays.
long simmering conflicts with my extended family have boiled over. just tired of them. i skipped a wedding in september, and skipped a funeral this last weekend. nobody seems to give a shit.
i have exactly 3 people that i care to ever talk to again, and i email them from time to time.
it is not how i want it. but it is the only alternative that i see to their judgmental bullshit. always was the red headed stepchild, and just too old for that kind of undercutting crap. so, the hole goes way back. hopefully i can start to fill it in, now.
families can really suck.
on the plus side, my kids will all be here, with their SO's. my 2 oldest have been doing a lot of cooking, and should be a great dinner. i have a kitchen built for many cooks, and it is finally getting them.
i sort of have a theory about families, and kids leaving at 18. right now i have 4 kids at home, aged 33, 24, 18 and 16. they have spent parts of their lives hating each other, and/or me. but living together as adults, i see them working it out. seems like that interdependence at an age when you are mature enough to work out the differences might be what it takes to have a family bond that lasts.
or at least i hope that is how it works.
best wishes to all of you. hope that you have loves, and low stress. hard as that might be.
Poor, stupid Beth gives us an update on Doug's ex-kids:
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-23-09 09:53 PM
It's nice that you have kids there and cool to see them working things out. One of my boys is in prison. He was popped for dealing pot in Berkeley. He'll be there through December if not longer. It looks pretty scary for him right now as this is his second offense, iirc. I can't even explain how this happened because I don't understand meth. At least I know he's alive.
Anyway, the other kid is fine but he's going to New York for the holiday. That leaves my mother and my brother and me and I'm still not speaking to my brother over my rose garden although, he doesn't know that. When I pointed this out to Mom, she said, "Well, I'm going to die soon" so I'm pretty much screwed no matter what I chose to do. If I get a "sick headache" and hide out in the studio with a batch of Forkboy's Meatballs, I'll feel guilty. If I cook for these peoples, I'll feel mad. lol
Oh, whatEVER.
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Wed Nov-25-09 02:00 PM
18. Thanks, mo. My kids have 3 grandparents that had booze trouble.
Two of them were really serious. My theory is that our junkie genes find each other so they can breed. But I think that this kid's meth thing is more related to ADD. This is the same kid that didn't want to be on psych "drugs". Now I'm thinking, he was already using and he didn't want a doctor to know that.
Turns out my brother isn't only coming for dinner. He's going to be living here for a while. It's a long story but he's having trouble finding a house to rent close to his kids. So, he'll be here until he finds something. The upside is that we called DishNet to wire all four teevees -- that'll help keep us out of each others hair. TG my studio is pretty much self-sufficient and has its own entrance.
It's a good thing I came with that extra flexibility feature. Speaking of which, I'm almost done with the shopping list for tomorrow. Now I just have to get up the moral energy to go to Safeway the day before Thanksgiving. Argh.
Wait a minute! She told us the only structure on the "ranch" was a small trailer! What is this about four televisions?
Another happy pack of democrats checks in:
Irishonly (1000+ posts) Sat Nov-28-09 04:23 PM
20. I Hope Everyone Made It Through OK
My husband suffers from PTSD, severe depressive episodes, anxiety and a couple of other things. Last suer he also had to have a hip replaced and found out he has a severe vitamin D deficiency as well as low calcium. I suffer from depression which is supposed to be because of chronic pain. We are quite a pair.
This Thanksgiving was hard. Our daughter moved to Sacramento and it was a mess. Neither of us really knew what she was planning to do. Her current boyfriend is a POS. I never knew how much a child could break your heart. We didn't hear from her for over a month.
On the upside she will be here for Christmas and is finally talking to us again. You have just read the condensed version.
Thanksgiving turned out fine. I guess we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and walk the baby steps.
Note to Irish: Your life is a disaster. End it.
OK. Remember DUmmy mopinko's post from 11/23? She isn't on speaking terms with anyone in the family, but at least she has a happy home with her four unemployed grown children and their shackups, right? Think again:
mopinko (1000+ posts) Sat Nov-28-09 06:34 PM
21. sigh, kids can break your heart.
oldest daughter is having a tough time, and blew up on us. not only spent thursday in her room, she hasn't come out since. throwing around shit from her childhood (she is 33), and saying she has no family. didn't eat any turkey, even after people went to bed. made a frozen pizza.
she has really been so prickly since she moved back home in september. taking offense at the smallest things. clearly struggling. with all the bp in the family, i am so worried about her. and even tho i take most of what she says at coming from some distortions in her perception, it sure does hurt to have those teenaged wounds thrown up again.
i am worried and hurt.
god damned holidays. and i was sure this was going to be a good one.
Now, Beth's one kid is in prison for the holidays. The other one went to New York to avoid her. Apparently he is back after a very short transcontinental visit:
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Sun Nov-29-09 01:53 PM
22. My oldest unloaded on me and let me have it with both barrels yesterday.
His aim is painfully accurate and I may have to take a sick today. Right now, I never want to speak to him again. I know he's feeling insecure, he's literally between jobs and he had been drinking. But tearing your mom's head off on a holiday weekend should be beyond the pale.
More on DUmmy mopinko's family bliss:
mopinko (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-30-09 10:30 AM
24. dh and i are fairly seriously considering xmas in vegas or something.
oldest son has sided with his sister, responding to my concerns that perhaps this is serious, and beyond the norm, by assuring me that i am every bit as big an ass as she thinks i am. that i am a horrible witch. (and i was not even here for the fight that started the whole things, but...) that i am just in denial, that is why i am trying to push this idea that perhaps someone who spends 4 days in their room, barely eating, not getting dressed, imagining that we all hate her and are out to subjugate and destroy her, might be suffering from some neurochemical imbalance.
these kids live in the lap of luxury around here. they have no idea what it means to miss a meal. all imagine to have been raised with absolutely draconian discipline, even tho we could never get them to pick up after themselves. daughter recalls the one time that dh ever hit her, after an absolutely over the top rant at me, as a history of "beatings". we sure weren't perfect. but damn, my parents, his parents, drunk and crazy. argh. i could go on and on.
i just have no desire to spend another holiday with people sneering and locking themselves in their room.
Everyone is unloading on poor, stupid Beth. This is the bum who has moved in:
EFerrari (1000+ posts) Mon Nov-30-09 05:42 PM
27. Maybe we could get group rates!
My birthday is coming up in a mess of December birthdays and then Christmas and New Years. After this weekend, I'm done, no kidding. My brother went off on me on Thursday, promised Mom he'd apologize and didn't and now this.
And another DUmmy bites the DUst:
Lorien (1000+ posts) Mon Dec-14-09 10:27 PM
29. One of my friends did not:
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/os-orlando-ar...
He wasn't a threat to anyone.There was no argument that morning, the day before thanksgiving. There's so much more to the story, but I can't write about it yet.
