« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!  (Read 2033 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline ReardenSteel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3462
  • Reputation: +204/-18
Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« on: March 02, 2009, 09:03:01 PM »
Celebutard of the Week: Gwyneth Paltrow
by Andrea Peyser
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/apeyser/2009/03/02/celebutard-of-the-week-gwyneth-paltrow/

Quote
After winning the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, Gwyneth Paltrow has been shamefully idle (Shallow Hal, anyone?) Even her latest film, Two Lovers, co-starring Joaquin Phoenix, premiered, depressingly unnoticed, at the Sunshine Cinema on New York’s Lower East Side.

But Gwyneth, who moved to London after declaring, “We’re all going to die when George Bush has his way,’’ is far from allergic to taking home our money. Nor is the lady bred in an exclusive Manhattan private school opposed to reinventing herself in a curiously American kind of career:  lifestyle guru.

Quote
I never thought I’d read these words coming from the aristocratic Gwyn’s hand. But here is it is:

“If your bowel movements get sluggish, you can accelerate things by drinking half a cup of castor oil or using a mild herbal laxative. Bowel elimination is paramount for correct detoxification.’’

It's a little bit political but Gwyneth Paltrow-lifestyle guru-Bowl elimination talk just screams lounge!  :-)

Now is the time for the airing of the puns.

Logged
"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline rich_t

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7942
  • Reputation: +386/-429
  • TANSTAAFL
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2009, 09:04:05 PM »
WTF???
Logged
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." --Norman Thomas, 1944

Offline ReardenSteel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3462
  • Reputation: +204/-18
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2009, 09:16:59 PM »
Quote from: rich_t on March 02, 2009, 09:04:05 PM
WTF???

With Gwyneth Paltrow a "WTF" is pretty much mandatory.
Logged
"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Rick

  • Crazy old man
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 844
  • Reputation: +78/-9
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2009, 09:17:46 PM »
I am sure she is going to clean up in her new career.
Logged

Offline ReardenSteel

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3462
  • Reputation: +204/-18
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2009, 09:23:24 PM »
Quote from: Ranger Rick on March 02, 2009, 09:17:46 PM
I am sure she is going to clean up in her new career.

And what a fine career movement it was.
Logged
"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Odin's Hand

  • is your new god!
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5486
  • Reputation: +366/-25
  • Quarters Champion
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2009, 09:25:51 PM »
This is what happens when you become "perma-fried".
Logged
"Hell is full of good wishes and desires"~St. Bernhard of Clairvaux

"Brave men are found where brave men are honored."~Aristotle

"Generally speaking, the "Way of the Warrior" is resolute acceptance of death."~ Miyamoto Musashi

Offline Chris_

  • Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 46845
  • Reputation: +2028/-266
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2009, 09:37:39 PM »
She dispenses her lifestyle advice in a newsletter titled GOOP.  :lmao:
Logged
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Eupher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24894
  • Reputation: +2835/-1828
  • U.S. Army, Retired
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2009, 10:22:18 PM »
This thread is a real gas.

And I'm kinda wonderin' if ol' Gwyn's as squeezably soft as her tp is.
Logged
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Chris

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1476
  • Reputation: +522/-16
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2009, 10:27:41 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on March 02, 2009, 10:22:18 PM
This thread is a real gas.

And I'm kinda wonderin' if ol' Gwyn's as squeezably soft as her tp is.

She looks kinda skinny.  My guess is no.
Logged
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

Offline NHSparky

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24431
  • Reputation: +1280/-617
  • Where are you going? I was gonna make espresso!
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2009, 10:19:00 AM »
As long as she doesn't try to team up with Sheryl Crow and tell us to use only one square of TP afterwards.

Then again, I doubt she's done this.  Give a liberal an enema and you could bury them in a thimble.
Logged
“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.”  -Henry Ford

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14480
  • Reputation: +816/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Re: Sluggish bowels? See Gwyneth Paltrow!
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2009, 10:19:17 AM »
Has she finally learned to tell her ass from a hole in the ground??    :mental:
Logged
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »