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When I came to, the general back-alley ambience of the suite was so rotten, so incredibly foul. How long had I been lying there? All these signs of violence. What had happened? There was evidence in this room of excessive consumption of almost every type of drug known to civilized man since 1544 AD. What kind of addict would need all these coconut husks and crushed honeydew rinds? Would the presence of junkies account for all these uneaten french fries? These puddles of glazed ketchup on the bureau? Maybe so. But then why all this booze? And these crude pornographic photos smeared with mustard that had dried to a hard yellow crust? These were not the hoofprints of your average God-fearing junky. It was too savage. Too aggressive.
And the frogs, in a hopeless panic, hurried and disorganized, hopped away while the frenzied ball of pink and bumpy tongues followed them, grabbed them, licking, licking, licking.
There are times I genuinely worry about you.
mmmmmmm..... I like the whole licking visual.... keep on going undies.
Speaking of issues...
Now don't you be mr. innocent sitting in the corner.
Suspect mushrooms and licking the frogs in biology class made Schade the woman she is today.
I am certain she left a raft of confused guys in prince outfits with bemused smiles on their faces in her wake.
The whole "frog" thing kinda killed it for me. I'm as big a fan of "frenzied balls of pink and bumpy tongues" as anyone but I draw the line at amphibians.
It does make one wonder how desperate the first person who ever licked a toad REALLY was to try that.
I wonder the same thing about the cashew nut.
Or raw oysters. Or okra.
And who the hell was the first person who dredged up a lobster and thought "Hey I wonder how that would go with lemon and butter?"Because if something like that crawled out from under my fridge I would be screaming like a little girl right up until I shotgunned it to death... NOT looking for a nut cracker and picks to try to get all the meat out.
Doesn't she always do that?
Yes, I am quite the fantasy girl, if only my real life were as fanciful as what is imagined in the hearts and minds of interwebz boys.
Ahem.Interwebz MEN if you don't mind...