I'm kinda at a loss for any good use, but my heart goes out to Mama, and those of you (like ASDF) who got coal this year.
(is there a grill that works with straight coal?)
OK, I'll start.
1) Bury your coal in a straight line on your property. Then you can dig it up later, claim you have a vein of coal on your land, and sell it for BIG BUCKS to a mining firm.
(of course that act will likely get you a pile of coal next year...)