I hope there is a special place where he is, someplace where he can keep an eye on me and know I love him so much and will for the rest of my life
Well, dear, you are posting on the wrong board with that kind of sentiment. DU exists somewhere outside the Light of God.
What you need to do is change your "hope" into confirmed knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. You situation is sad and I know you are hurting. We all go through these times of utter grief. The only way to come out the other end with your sanity intact is to go through it with The Lord standing by you.
Death is inevitable and we all face the earthly separation of ourselves from our loved ones. We who know Christ know our emptiness is only temporary. It still hurts, but the joy we share in the Light of God lets us know everything will be ok.