Eminem Said It Best When He Said "I Am Whatever I Say I Am"...

[obumazombie]

"And If I'm Not, Why Would I Say I Am"...

Rachel A. Dolezal, the recently resigned president of the Spokane, Washington, office of the NAACP, has come under a bit of controversy.
Both of her parents are white, but for eight years, Dolezal claimed that she was black.

In addition to her role as president of an NAACP chapter, Dolezal was an instructor of Africana studies at Eastern Washington University.
Some critics claim that Rachel Dolezal's actions were motivated by greed and narcissism.

By becoming a black person, she could more easily become an NAACP leader, chair a police watchdog committee and get a teaching appointment.


Dolezal is not the only white woman who has benefited from racial fakery.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren claimed that she was of Cherokee Indian ancestry.
That helped her land a job at diversity-hungry Harvard University as a professor of law.

Not only was her great-grandfather not a Cherokee as she claimed but also he was a white man who boasted of shooting a Cherokee Indian.
Personally, I don't hold either Dolezal or Warren at fault for racial fakery.

If you read my autobiography, "Up From the Projects," you will see that I had the occasion to fake my race.
It was 1960, during my troubled time in the U.S. Army, when I had just landed from a troop carrier in Incheon, South Korea. Upon disembarkation, soldiers were required to fill out a vital information form denoting one's next of kin, religion, blood type and race, among other things.

Where it asked for race, I checked off "Caucasian."
The chief warrant officer, in charge of inspecting the forms, told me that I had made an error by checking off "Caucasian."

I told him that I hadn't and was in fact Caucasian.
After a couple of minutes or so of going back and forth, he asked me why I would put down "Caucasian."

I told him that if I put down "Negro"
— what we called ourselves at that time
— I'd be given the worst job.

I never changed the form, but the officer probably did.
By the way, faking one's race is not uncommon.

There was a 1947 study by E.W. Eckard
— "How Many Negroes 'Pass'?"
— which estimated that 2,600 Negroes had become white, or passed, each year during the 1930s.
The bottom line is that modernity permits liberties previously unknown or unrecognized.

Today we're not held to reality.
For example, one does not have to accept the limitations of biology.

Say that one is born with XX sex chromosomes and is therefore female or that one is born with XY sex chromosomes and is therefore male.
One doesn't have to accept nature's determination.

An XXer can say that he's a male.
Or an XYer can say he's a she.

One's sex is seen as optional.
Moreover, if a male claims to be a female, others are expected to acknowledge that.

For example, Bruce Jenner, Olympic decathlon champion and reality show personality, has recently become Caitlyn Jenner.
People now are required to address him as her.

There is a condition known as species dysphoria, similar to gender dysphoria.
It is a condition in which people think they are animals trapped in human bodies.

I've been giving this option some serious thought.
I've been thinking of calling myself a springbok trapped in a human body.

Some people might argue that I would be in need of psychological treatment.
I'd dismiss such a claim as being animalphobic.

You might ask, "Williams, why in the world would you want to call yourself a springbok?"
I would be doing it for personal gain, just as Rachel Dolezal and Elizabeth Warren benefited by pretending they were of another race.

I'd be doing it for tax reasons.
I've read a considerable amount of the Internal Revenue Code.
 
It says nothing about wild animals having a federal tax obligation.
Were government officials to demand that I, as a springbok, pay taxes, I'd report them to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.


Walter E. Williams is a professor of economics at George Mason University.
To find out more about Walter E. Williams and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. 

Except for Big Dog, Bad Dog, Snugs, and Ptarmigan, please include in all your replies what you are.

Oh, in case you didn't know, I'm a black zombie for owebuma male lesbian.



full article...

http://newsbusters.org/blogs/walter-e-williams/2015/06/25/you-are-what-you-say-you-are#sthash.Zqj64Lkw.dpuf

[Big Dog]

Dewey approve?

Yes, he do.

[Revolution]

Being that I'm part blind, I'll just choose to identify as a bat from now on. A bat with male human genetalia, of course. That's the important part.

[Eupher]

Go home, Eminem, you're drunk. (Again.)

I'm a Eupher, dammit.

And a bass trombonist, and a tubist, and a tenor trombonist, and when I get some chops together, a double-bassist.

[ADsOutburst]

Being that I'm part blind, I'll just choose to identify as a bat from now on. A bat with male human genetalia, of course. That's the important part.

Hey man, sleeping, hunting, and eating! That's the life.

[freedumb2003b]

I'm a Siamese cat.

Now screw you and feed me.

[Chris_]

I choose to identify as independently wealthy.

My bank account disagrees.

[obumazombie]

Awesome replies.
Come on the rest of you cavers.
Get on the thread and tell us what you are !

[Rick]

I identify as a Californian. Born, raised and have lived here all my life.

Let me add that I am a Southern Californian.

[libertybele]

I am who I am and what you see is what you get. 

[obumazombie]

I am who I am and what you see is what you get.

Sounds similar to Popeye's dirge,
"I am what I am, and that's all what I am"
Combined with Flip Wilson...
"What you see is what you get, and what you don't is better yet"

[txradioguy]

I'm a Texan...to the left that is all inclusive of everything wrong in the world.

Which means I'm perfect.   

[RayRaytheSBS]

I'm a Texan...to the left that is all inclusive of everything wrong in the world.

Which means I'm perfect.   

I'll see your texan, and raise you a willing yankee transplant to the south who is in the most evil organization in the entire world because I wasn't smart enough for other work; the United States Army.

ETA: Which means I am the biggest welfare queen of them all, now where's MY Obamaphone?!

[txradioguy]

I'll see your texan, and raise you a willing yankee transplant to the south who is in the most evil organization in the entire world because I wasn't smart enough for other work; the United States Army.

  I forgot to add my Army background as well.

We'll gladly accept a transplant of your character with open arms. 

ETA: Which means I am the biggest welfare queen of them all, now where's MY Obamaphone?!

It's on the table in your Obamahouse.

[Eupher]

It's on the table in your Obamahouse.

Whoa, wait.

My Obamahouse doesn't have a table. It's a one-holer and it has a nook where the latest copy of the Sears catalog is wedged. The idea is to tear off 2-3 pages after every visit.

Every time I take an Obama and empty my bowels, I feel great. 

[txradioguy]

Whoa, wait.

My Obamahouse doesn't have a table. It's a one-holer and it has a nook where the latest copy of the Sears catalog is wedged. The idea is to tear off 2-3 pages after every visit.

Every time I take an Obama and empty my bowels, I feel great. 

That's because you retired under the old "fend for yourself" plan of the 1980's.

You'd need to go down to the country office and apply for the Hope and Change upgrade...you'll hear back from them in 6-10 years...after they've scanned all your online data and made a complete evaluation of your voting record/history.

[Eupher]

That's because you retired under the old "fend for yourself" plan of the 1980's.

You'd need to go down to the country office and apply for the Hope and Change upgrade...you'll hear back from them in 6-10 years...after they've scanned all your online data and made a complete evaluation of your voting record/history.

Jeez, if I do that, I'll get skid marks in my shorts. 

[txradioguy]

Jeez, if I do that, I'll get skid marks in my shorts. 

At your age that might work in your favor for approval! 

[BlueStateSaint]

This does tend to give legitimacy to the grotto gato . . .

[docstew]

I forgot to add my Army background as well.

We'll gladly accept a transplant of your character with open arms. 

It's on the table in your Obamahouse.

But you're still a leg...

[txradioguy]

But you're still a leg...

Not true sir! In this day and age I feel like an Airborne Trooper...Therefore I AM one regardless of whether I've ever attended jump school.

[dutch508]

Not true sir! In this day and age I feel like an Airborne Trooper...Therefore I AM one regardless of whether I've ever attended jump school.

Bitchslap, sir! Bitchslap!

 

[catsmtrods]

I am a lesbian trapped in a mans body.

[obumazombie]

Bitchslap, sir! Bitchslap!

 

Congrats on 8,000.
As for legs, I am not a straight leg.
I am a slightly bent leg.
I was scrubbed from an Airborne school set up at Bragg when Benning was the only other Airborne school going.
But, when I was assigned to Planet Ord in the 7th ID, I was able to get 4 jumps with the base parachute club.
UH-1H, and a military issue round chute...but John Wayne style.
Civvies and no LBE or web gear.


As for the rest of the comments, all excellent so far.
Keep them up my fellow cavers.

[RayRaytheSBS]

Not true sir! In this day and age I feel like an Airborne Trooper...Therefore I AM one regardless of whether I've ever attended jump school.

  Yeah, we'll see how well your 'feeling' you're an airborne trooper works. I call for a night mass-tactical jump on Sicily DZ from a C-130 (the clown car of the skies) for TX with a 60+ lb ruck... And no airborne school! You better sleep at a Holiday inn express!