diet cola primitive cooks with dogs

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x46453

Oh my. 

Tab  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-08-08 02:43 PM
Original message

Cooking with dogs
   
Take one short-haird 20 lb dog... (No, just joking)

We have five dogs - three large and two small. One of the large and one of the small are young - just over two years now. The rest are older and aren't a problem.

Of the younger ones, one is a cross between a hound and a boxer (we think - got him from a shelter, so we're not really sure). He loves to stand on his rear legs and can get into anything. The other is his cohort, his partner-in-crime, our small little emergency backup dog, a Shih-Tzu.

Try to imagine cooking in an environment where you can't leave the counter with food on it unattended, even for a minute. You can't go to the bathroom, turn on the gas grill, answer a question from your son, anything that means leaving the kitchen before putting all food out of reach (putting it on top of the fridge, inside the cold oven, on top of the shelves, anything at least six feet high).

Not only that, but once you serve it, everything that didn't go in the first round has to be in a heavy lidded pot or on top of the fridge, or somewhere out of reach.

Last night, feeling a bit lazy, we ordered a pizza. I don't like to eat a lot of pizza, but this type is good, and I had two slices, my wife had two, my son had one, and my wife closed the box tight and left it on the stove top.

Not five minutes later she asked if I had opened the box. I said no, as I hadn't been in the room since she closed it. My son was upstairs, so the was only one culprit - I look in the living room (it's an open connecting space) and there is Coco (the hound/boxer) who has dragged out the whole remaining large pizza, wax paper and all, and was munching out in front of the TV.

I have had fish disappear on me, whole tubs of grated Romano, even sticks of butter. Nothing is excluded.

On one famous afternoon, I bought a pack of sausages that I was going to use, they were still in their store packaging. I had them on the counter. Went to do something for a second, came back, couldn't find the sausages. I did, however, find an empty packing shell in the living room. Coco had stolen the whole thing of sausages and scarfed them down. So, needing something for dinner, my wife picked up one of those hot roasted whole chickens from the store on her way home. When she got home, she put it on the counter - big mistake. 10 minutes later, the chicken is missing and Coco and his Shih-tzu cohort Teddy are having a picnic on the lawn with a whole roasted chicken.

Having blown two dinners already - sausage, and then the chicken - and still not having anything to eat we ordered a pizza. And we got to eat most of it, but the two slices not yet eaten magically disappeared. Guess how.

I swear, I go through this every night I cook. When I prep, cook, let things cool, hold things for seconds - they all get shoved in out of the way places like on top of the fridge or on top of the hutch. You'd think whoever lived here was a 9 ft tall cook, based on where things are set aside.

Oh, and my set of wooden spoons that I've used for years? All gone. Something can be bubbling in the pot on the stove with a wooden spoon to stir it next to it, and next thing we know, it's a chew toy for the dogs. I reordered a set and I only have one left of that, and will have to order yet Another set. Other types of spoons are no less immune, but I personally prefer wooden, yet they've done it with the vinyl ones too.

Because of the house configuration, it's not easy to keep him out of the kitchen.

The Authority on Everything offers, surprisingly, good advice:

Husb2Sparkly  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-08-08 07:32 PM
Response to Original message

4. Hmmm .... sounds as if 'some dogs' need a dose of some masterful eyeballing
   
I've always managed to get our dogs to do as I wish with a deep, stern sounding voice and a penetrating eye. And we've had Border Collies .... the masters of the masterful eyes.

Our girl is very attuned to what we're doing at any moment. She has tried to beg from time to time. She gets nothing but a stern look from us. The begging is now a rare instance. She just lays nearby, watching us. but she (almost) never begs.

When I do give her human food, it is always in a setting disconnected from the kitchen - usually the yard.

Hmmmm.  The usually mellow, usually laid back, hippowife primitive shows some intolerance:

hippywife  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-10-08 12:33 PM
Response to Original message

12. If that happened at our house we would soon be less one dog in a real hurry. I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour from animals and my husband is even less tolerant of it.

Other than that offered by the sparkling husband primitive, while it's a reasonably big bonfire, no other primitives offer constructive help, only reminescences about pets they've had that did the same sort of thing.

Such is the nature of primitives; always obsessed with their own problems, never concerned about helping one of their comrades solve his problem.

[Flame]

good grief....how about training the dogs to stay out of the kitchen?  OR crating them when youare cooking?   Not too tough, really.

Our big dog gets a wild hair on occasion and steals bread if we leave it on the counter, but she only does it when we are not home, and she doesn't do it all the time.   She also doesn't come into the kitchen when we are cooking, either. She will lie in the doorway and watch, but that's it.

[Wineslob]

A baseball bat works quite well........

[debk]

I have four cats...none of which get on the kitchen counters, nor "steal" food off of them, nor beg when you are eating.

Hellllooooo....it's called training when they are young!

Even my Westies weren't beggars....and they were too short to get anything off the counter.

If their animals are like that....wonder what the kid's like?

[Miss Mia]

My cats are not allowed on kitchen counters, that's just disgusting.  Monty wants to inspect my food when I'm eating though.   

[debk]

My cats are not allowed on kitchen counters, that's just disgusting.  Monty wants to inspect my food when I'm eating though.   

Ours look at us if we are at a level where they can see the food....but they don't beg or steal anything off the plate.

[Miss Mia]

My cats are not allowed on kitchen counters, that's just disgusting.  Monty wants to inspect my food when I'm eating though.   

Ours look at us if we are at a level where they can see the food....but they don't beg or steal anything off the plate.

My cat, Monty, just wants to inspect.  He doesn't even really eat people food, I don't know why he acts like he's starving all the time. 

[debk]

My cats are not allowed on kitchen counters, that's just disgusting.  Monty wants to inspect my food when I'm eating though.   

Ours look at us if we are at a level where they can see the food....but they don't beg or steal anything off the plate.

My cat, Monty, just wants to inspect.  He doesn't even really eat people food, I don't know why he acts like he's starving all the time. 

None of ours eat people food....they have Iams dry kibble in the laundry room all the time and that's all they eat. I do have one though that seems to like plastic that makes noise when she chomps on it....she doesn't really eat it.....just licks it or chews it. They are all 3.5 but I don't think she's ever going to grow up.

[Uhhuh35]

A baseball bat works quite well........

Yeah, I've found that in training animals severe beatings do help!

[Chris_]

Tab  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-08-08 02:43 PM
Original message

Cooking with dogs
  
Take one short-haird 20 lb dog... (No, just joking)

These are my dogs, Mu Shu and Lo Mein. 

We named the cat General Tso.  He used to be a Colonel. 

[EastFacingNorth]

Unless and until the DUmmy in question has to put a padlock on the refrigerator to keep the dog out of it, the DUmmy's dog/kitchen problems are minor.

[jukin]

None of my dogs ever eat people food unless we give it to them. The penalty is just too high for them and they were trained from puppyhood.

Why am I not surprised that the DUmbass's dogs are unruly?

[asdf2231]

Our dog waits patiently until we have all finished eating and then she gets a tiny bit of leftovers and gets to lick the plates.

My obnoxious cat Tucker uses his famed Jedi Cat Powers on me though and sits by my chair using them until I give him a piece of my meat.  The Force is a strong influence on the weak minded.

[BlueStateSaint]

My obnoxious cat Tucker uses his famed Jedi Cat Powers on me though and sits by my chair using them until I give him a piece of my meat.  The Force is a strong influence on the weak minded.

Oh, I know all about the Jedi Cats.  Oreo is a praticioner of the highest order.  Though, I don't always cave in (by giving her Friskies treats), but that never stops her from trying again.

[VivisMom]

Tab  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-08-08 02:43 PM
Original message

Cooking with dogs
  
Take one short-haird 20 lb dog... (No, just joking)

These are my dogs, Mu Shu and Lo Mein. 

We named the cat General Tso.  He used to be a Colonel. 

We have three cats, two are nicknamed General Tso and Kung Pao. 

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x46453

Oh my. 

Tab  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-08-08 02:43 PM
Original message

Cooking with dogs
   
Take one short-haird 20 lb dog... (No, just joking)

We have five dogs - three large and two small. One of the large and one of the small are young - just over two years now. The rest are older and aren't a problem.

Of the younger ones, one is a cross between a hound and a boxer (we think - got him from a shelter, so we're not really sure). He loves to stand on his rear legs and can get into anything. The other is his cohort, his partner-in-crime, our small little emergency backup dog, a Shih-Tzu.

Try to imagine cooking in an environment where you can't leave the counter with food on it unattended, even for a minute. You can't go to the bathroom, turn on the gas grill, answer a question from your son, anything that means leaving the kitchen before putting all food out of reach (putting it on top of the fridge, inside the cold oven, on top of the shelves, anything at least six feet high).

Not only that, but once you serve it, everything that didn't go in the first round has to be in a heavy lidded pot or on top of the fridge, or somewhere out of reach.

Last night, feeling a bit lazy, we ordered a pizza. I don't like to eat a lot of pizza, but this type is good, and I had two slices, my wife had two, my son had one, and my wife closed the box tight and left it on the stove top.

Not five minutes later she asked if I had opened the box. I said no, as I hadn't been in the room since she closed it. My son was upstairs, so the was only one culprit - I look in the living room (it's an open connecting space) and there is Coco (the hound/boxer) who has dragged out the whole remaining large pizza, wax paper and all, and was munching out in front of the TV.

I have had fish disappear on me, whole tubs of grated Romano, even sticks of butter. Nothing is excluded.

On one famous afternoon, I bought a pack of sausages that I was going to use, they were still in their store packaging. I had them on the counter. Went to do something for a second, came back, couldn't find the sausages. I did, however, find an empty packing shell in the living room. Coco had stolen the whole thing of sausages and scarfed them down. So, needing something for dinner, my wife picked up one of those hot roasted whole chickens from the store on her way home. When she got home, she put it on the counter - big mistake. 10 minutes later, the chicken is missing and Coco and his Shih-tzu cohort Teddy are having a picnic on the lawn with a whole roasted chicken.

Having blown two dinners already - sausage, and then the chicken - and still not having anything to eat we ordered a pizza. And we got to eat most of it, but the two slices not yet eaten magically disappeared. Guess how.

I swear, I go through this every night I cook. When I prep, cook, let things cool, hold things for seconds - they all get shoved in out of the way places like on top of the fridge or on top of the hutch. You'd think whoever lived here was a 9 ft tall cook, based on where things are set aside.

Oh, and my set of wooden spoons that I've used for years? All gone. Something can be bubbling in the pot on the stove with a wooden spoon to stir it next to it, and next thing we know, it's a chew toy for the dogs. I reordered a set and I only have one left of that, and will have to order yet Another set. Other types of spoons are no less immune, but I personally prefer wooden, yet they've done it with the vinyl ones too.

Because of the house configuration, it's not easy to keep him out of the kitchen.

The Authority on Everything offers, surprisingly, good advice:

Husb2Sparkly  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Jul-08-08 07:32 PM
Response to Original message

4. Hmmm .... sounds as if 'some dogs' need a dose of some masterful eyeballing
   
I've always managed to get our dogs to do as I wish with a deep, stern sounding voice and a penetrating eye. And we've had Border Collies .... the masters of the masterful eyes.

Our girl is very attuned to what we're doing at any moment. She has tried to beg from time to time. She gets nothing but a stern look from us. The begging is now a rare instance. She just lays nearby, watching us. but she (almost) never begs.

When I do give her human food, it is always in a setting disconnected from the kitchen - usually the yard.

Hmmmm.  The usually mellow, usually laid back, hippowife primitive shows some intolerance:

hippywife  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-10-08 12:33 PM
Response to Original message

12. If that happened at our house we would soon be less one dog in a real hurry. I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour from animals and my husband is even less tolerant of it.

Other than that offered by the sparkling husband primitive, while it's a reasonably big bonfire, no other primitives offer constructive help, only reminescences about pets they've had that did the same sort of thing.

Such is the nature of primitives; always obsessed with their own problems, never concerned about helping one of their comrades solve his problem.

I'm getting my 19 month old Lab to the point where all I have to do is look at his crate and he goes in it! A well trained dog is a good dog!

[JohnnyReb]

5 dogs and a kid in this "*" economy ?????????????????? I would have thought they would be eating the dogs by now.

[debk]

5 dogs and a kid in this "*" economy ?????????????????? I would have thought they would be eating the dogs by now.

no kidding!!

I bought a bag of cat food( a medium sized bag) and two big bags of litter at k-mart on Sunday and it was almost $40...probably was with tax!

We have 4 cats......Skyy, Bailey, Cocoa, Jasmine.......yes, the first 2 are alcohol and the 3rd is chocolate, and Jaz was my daughter's and she named her after a Disney princess...she didn't take her when she moved out though...

[DumbAss Tanker]

I would think it would be rather hard to light them, but hey....

It sounds like this DUmmies dogs need a serious ass-kicking followed by a move from the people-house to the doghouse.

[Splashdown]

Our dog waits patiently until we have all finished eating and then she gets a tiny bit of leftovers and gets to lick the plates.

My obnoxious cat Tucker uses his famed Jedi Cat Powers on me though and sits by my chair using them until I give him a piece of my meat.  The Force is a strong influence on the weak minded.

[miskie]

Your dogs are poorly trained moonbat. Either train them right or invest in crates and gates. Once you crate your thief a few times after he steals food, he will stop.

And, if you feed him table scraps.. Don't -- all you are doing is teaching your dog that "your food = his food".

[Miss Mia]

Our dog waits patiently until we have all finished eating and then she gets a tiny bit of leftovers and gets to lick the plates.

My obnoxious cat Tucker uses his famed Jedi Cat Powers on me though and sits by my chair using them until I give him a piece of my meat.  The Force is a strong influence on the weak minded.

Yes, one of mine is clearly a Jedi Cat.  He sits in the kitchen and meows until I'm so annoyed I feed him special wet food.  (I buy those little Frisky Feast cans, and each cat gets 1/2 a can as a treat)  He's a smart cat.

[miskie]

Our dog waits patiently until we have all finished eating and then she gets a tiny bit of leftovers and gets to lick the plates.

My obnoxious cat Tucker uses his famed Jedi Cat Powers on me though and sits by my chair using them until I give him a piece of my meat.  The Force is a strong influence on the weak minded.

Yes, one of mine is clearly a Jedi Cat.  He sits in the kitchen and meows until I'm so annoyed I feed him special wet food.  (I buy those little Frisky Feast cans, and each cat gets 1/2 a can as a treat)  He's a smart cat.

We have one cat that was a bit more ballsy - especially with fish sandwiches. she would sit nearby and when the moment was right, would reach right into the sandwich you were holding, get a pawful of tuna and stuff it into her gob. She has been trained on her manners, but she is still ballsy - If the cat is on a chair, she will not move unless she is picked up and moved. Even threat of vacuum cleaner usage will not convince the cat its time to leave.