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Offline FlippyDoo

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a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« on: April 13, 2015, 12:26:46 PM »
As the election nears Bouncy Tale season is also close at hand. We all know that the Bouncy Tales from the DUmp have been sort of sad for a while now.  Scoring them based on Bouncy Tales of the past only results in very low scores. I propose a completely new standardized Bouncy Tale scoring system. The top score possible in this system would be 15; however, it is set up so that even the most pathetic Bouncy fabricator can receive a score of at least 8.

I have some proposed scoring perimeters shown below. I’m completely open to suggestions; however, I think the system should be as simple as possible since we are dealing with DUmmies.

Beginning the story with the word “so” results in 1 point.
Having the story take place at a gas station or grocery store results in 1 point.
Having a crowd watching results in 1 point.
Confronting a conservative results in 1 point.
Converting said conservative results in 1 point.
Making the conservative cry or rendering him speechless results in 1 point.
Making the conservative flee results in 1 point.
Having the observers clap or cheer results in 1 point.
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 5 points.
The overall story being entertaining results in 2 points.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2015, 12:40:02 PM »
I like your idea.
One aspect about your idea that I for one will resist to the end is substituting points for bongs !
Long live the bong !
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2015, 12:42:29 PM »
Maybe bonus points for the cause of the bouncy?
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2015, 12:51:50 PM »
Quote from: FiddyBeowulf on April 13, 2015, 12:42:29 PM
Maybe bonus points for the cause of the bouncy?
Bumper sticker=1
Fox News on TV=1
Rush Limbaugh on radio=2
Billboard=1
Shirt=1

obumazombie, I don’t think there is a problem replacing the word ‘points’ with the word ‘bongs’.


Fiddy, your idea has merit. I’m just trying to keep the highest possible score at 15 or below.

How about the following revision?

Beginning the story with the word “so” results in 1 point.
Having the story take place at a gas station or grocery store results in 1 point.
Having a crowd watching results in 1 point.
Confronting a conservative results in 1 point.
Converting said conservative results in 1 point.
Making the conservative cry or rendering him speechless results in 1 point.
Making the conservative flee results in 1 point.
Having the observers clap or cheer results in 1 point.
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 3 points.
The overall story being entertaining results in 2 points.

Discretionary points used at the rater's will is 2 points.
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2015, 01:35:17 PM »
Rethuglican damaged my car, sign, property because of bumper sticker etc. 1pt.
Teabagger gave dirty look or cut me off 1pt extra credit for driving a smoke belching pickup with a gun rack and Dixie flag.
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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2015, 03:49:26 PM »
I like it, Flippy.  You have my seal/stamp of approval. :whistling: :)
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2015, 05:17:20 PM »
Quote from: FiddyBeowulf on April 13, 2015, 12:42:29 PM
Maybe bonus points for the cause of the bouncy?
Bumper sticker=1
Fox News on TV=1
Rush Limbaugh on radio=2
Billboard=1
Shirt=1
Yep, add gas station, grocery store, car dealership.
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2015, 05:35:31 PM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on April 13, 2015, 05:17:20 PM
Yep, add gas station, grocery store, car dealership.


Beginning the story with the word “so” results in 1 point.
Having the story take place at a gas station, grocery store, car dealership or auto shop, or medical office results in 1 point.
Having a crowd watching results in 1 point.
Confronting a conservative results in 1 point.
Converting said conservative results in 1 point.
Making the conservative cry or rendering him speechless results in 1 point.
Making the conservative flee results in 1 point.
Having the observers clap or cheer results in 1 point.
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 3 points.
The overall story being entertaining results in 2 points.

Discretionary points used at the rater's will is 2 points.

Changes in bold. I decided to add medical office so as not leave out the DUmmie that's been an intern for years.
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Offline Linda

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2015, 07:19:43 PM »
This thread needs to be stickered to the top till we slow learners can remember the scoring system.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2015, 07:40:07 PM »
Quote from: FlippyDoo on April 13, 2015, 05:35:31 PM

Beginning the story with the word “so” results in 1 point.
Having the story take place at a gas station, grocery store, car dealership or auto shop, or medical office results in 1 point.
Having a crowd watching results in 1 point.
Confronting a conservative results in 1 point.
Converting said conservative results in 1 point.
Making the conservative cry or rendering him speechless results in 1 point.
Making the conservative flee results in 1 point.
Having the observers clap or cheer results in 1 point.
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 3 points.
The overall story being entertaining results in 2 points.

Discretionary points used at the rater's will is 2 points.

Changes in bold. I decided to add medical office so as not leave out the DUmmie that's been an intern for years.
Nicely done, Flippy.
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Offline miskie

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2015, 07:49:55 PM »
I actually developed a standardized Bouncy scoring system a few years back -  :-)  http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=32510.msg341648#msg341648 - the system delivers one bong hit per item, so hitting all points delivers a "10 Bong Hit" rating.  Perhaps we can merge some of this into the new proposal ?

Quote from: Miskie's Bouncy Checklist
1 the tale starts with a conjunction
2 introduces a 'villain',
3 a 'hero',
4 and a 'victim',
5 includes an unexpected threat
6 contains a conversion of the 'villain' to 'hero', 'victim' or both.
7 contains verbatim quotes
8 includes commentary about the sorry state of affairs
9 includes at least some topical political discussion
10 contains at least one snarky comment that flies over the head of the 'villain'
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2015, 07:51:25 PM »
Quote from: miskie on April 13, 2015, 07:49:55 PM
I actually developed a standardized Bouncy scoring system a few years back -  :-)  http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=32510.msg341648#msg341648 - the system delivers one bong hit per item, so hitting all points delivers a "10 Bong Hit" rating.  Perhaps we can merge some of this into the new proposal ?

Long live the bong !
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2015, 12:54:42 AM »
I wonder who has the most bouncies.  :lmao:
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Offline dutch508

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2015, 03:59:00 AM »
You must have direct quotes from both parties as well.

i.e. "You only voted for Obama because he's a gay black muslim kenyan!" she shouted insanely as the people looked on in a moking way...


BUT- I like it.
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2015, 05:04:09 AM »
Quote from: miskie on April 13, 2015, 07:49:55 PM
I actually developed a standardized Bouncy scoring system a few years back -  :-)  http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=32510.msg341648#msg341648 - the system delivers one bong hit per item, so hitting all points delivers a "10 Bong Hit" rating.  Perhaps we can merge some of this into the new proposal ?

Sorry I missed that miskie. Or I may have seen it and just forgot. I sometimes suffer from CRS.

While it does look like I hit on most of your points, I did leave a very important one out which is the verbatim quotes. Below is my lated revision.


Beginning the story with the word “so” results in 1 bong.
Having the story take place at a gas station, grocery store, car dealership or auto shop, or medical office results in 1 bong.
Having a crowd watching results in 1 bong
Confronting a conservative results in 1 bong.
Converting said conservative results in 1 bong.
Posting the conversation verbatim results in 1 bong.
Making the conservative cry or rendering him speechless results in 1 bong.
Making the conservative flee results in 1 bong.
Having the observers clap or cheer results in 1 bong.
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 2 bongs.
The overall story being entertaining results in 2 bongs.

Discretionary points used at the rater's will is 2 bongs.
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For new members and lurkers: I am a fictional spirit-guide with no smell whatsoever. I am part irish setter and part pigeon. If you don't smell any strange smells it means I'm probably standing next to you. As I am a fictional character anything I post should possibly be considered fictional.

Offline miskie

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2015, 07:59:23 AM »
Quote from: FlippyDoo on April 14, 2015, 05:04:09 AM
Sorry I missed that miskie. Or I may have seen it and just forgot. I sometimes suffer from CRS.

While it does look like I hit on most of your points, I did leave a very important one out which is the verbatim quotes. Below is my lated revision.


Beginning the story with the word “so” results in 1 bong.
Having the story take place at a gas station, grocery store, car dealership or auto shop, or medical office results in 1 bong.
Having a crowd watching results in 1 bong
Confronting a conservative results in 1 bong.
Converting said conservative results in 1 bong.
Posting the conversation verbatim results in 1 bong.
Making the conservative cry or rendering him speechless results in 1 bong.
Making the conservative flee results in 1 bong.
Having the observers clap or cheer results in 1 bong.
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 2 bongs.
The overall story being entertaining results in 2 bongs.

Discretionary points used at the rater's will is 2 bongs.

I like it :D - it seems to cover all points in the typical bouncy tale, and it creates a new 15 Bong hit maximum, worthy of only the most skilled DUmmies. - Which almost none of them will ever achieve.
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #16 on: April 14, 2015, 08:13:03 AM »
Quote from: miskie on April 14, 2015, 07:59:23 AM
I like it :D - it seems to cover all points in the typical bouncy tale, and it creates a new 15 Bong hit maximum, worthy of only the most skilled DUmmies. - Which almost none of them will ever achieve.

Thanks.

I'd also like to point out that the choice of 15 was not arbitrary. We all know the DUmmies have severe problems with math. With the high not exceeding 15 even the DUmmies like MasterNumbskull should be able to count off the points on their fingers and toes.
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2015, 08:26:39 AM »
Quote from: FlippyDoo on April 14, 2015, 08:13:03 AM
Thanks.

I'd also like to point out that the choice of 15 was not arbitrary. We all know the DUmmies have severe problems with math. With the high not exceeding 15 even the DUmmies like MasterNumbskull should be able to count off the points on their fingers and toes.
At least until another limb falls off...
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Offline the county

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2015, 03:42:44 PM »
Okay, might as well try this out with the latest from 1stupidblackman:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026506002

Quote
Tue Apr 14, 2015, 01:33 PM
1StrongBlackMan (18,595 posts)

Okay ... So I'm sitting in a Doctor's waiting room ...


Waiting on Mrs. 1SBM. She having a procedure done that the ACA provides for at no cost, "unless there is a medical situation. "

There is an older lady sitting across from me with her daughter. They're talking about stuff folks talk about to kill time while waiting. The mother, being older, is talking a little louder than "normal", so we can'thelp but hear their conversation ... and, the mother is saying some funny stuff ... in that uncensored, older person, kind of way.

When out the blue the mother says, {something about} that damn ed Hillary Clinton .. she such a liar ... just like that (President) Obama!"

The daughter gets this horrified look on her face and tells her mother, "shhh, no politics. You know what it does to your blood pressure. They won't do the procedure.!"

BTW, it's the same procedure Mrs. 1SBM is having that ObamaCare, now, provides for free.


Three  :stoner: :stoner: :stoner: at best
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2015, 03:59:04 PM »
I am...was...or used to be a republican until = 5 points if republican is spelled correct, 2 otherwise.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2015, 04:01:59 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on April 14, 2015, 03:59:04 PM
I am...was...or used to be a republican until = 5 points if republican is spelled correct, 2 otherwise.

Do acceptable alternate spellings count, such as...Rethuglican ?
I'm a ReSCU Mlican by the way.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2015, 04:10:28 PM »
Quote from: obumazombie on April 14, 2015, 04:01:59 PM
I'm a ReSCUMlican by the way.
That's my new favorite.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2015, 04:14:39 PM »
Quote from: obumazombie on April 14, 2015, 04:01:59 PM

I'm a ReSCU Mlican by the way.
I'm carrying on in honor of a nearly extinct indian tribe closely related to the Mohicans.
I'm a ReSCU pilot who comes to the aid of those in peril on land and sea.

That makes me a ReSCU Mlican (a space makes all the difference).



http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=101752.msg1280373#msg1280373





http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=101752.msg1280373#msg1280373


Quote from: Chris_ on April 14, 2015, 04:10:28 PM
That's my new favorite.



edit: link
« Last Edit: April 14, 2015, 04:18:33 PM by obumazombie »
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Offline 98ZJUSMC

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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2015, 04:42:26 PM »
Quote
Having a cop jump out of the bushes results in 5 points.

 :rofl:

"Ask the cop on the corner; ask the cop in the store; ask the cop on the rooftop; ask the cop in the woodpile; ask the cop that's knock, knock, knockin' at your back door. (Knock knock)..."

 - The Firesign Theater, 1969
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Re: a proposed Bouncy Tale scoring system
« Reply #24 on: April 14, 2015, 04:44:50 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on April 14, 2015, 03:59:04 PM
I am...was...or used to be a republican until = 5 points if republican is spelled correct, 2 otherwise.

 :II:  A certain ... uptick of those, lately.
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Liberal thinking is a two-legged stool and magical thinking is one of the legs, the other is a combination of self-loating and misanthropy.  To understand it, you would have to be able to sit on that stool while juggling two elephants, an anvil and a fragmentation grenade, sans pin.

"Accuse others of what you do." - Karl Marx
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