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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on September 04, 2013, 07:56:22 PM

Title: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: franksolich on September 04, 2013, 07:56:22 PM
http://www.democraticunderground.com/115730792

Oh my.

One wonders why the pie-and-jam primitive didn't show up, to offer her expertise on the matter.

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cilla4progress (3,066 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:07 PM

Considering cafe start-up - resources? ideas?

I got laid off again this week. I am looking into taking over a bakery / lunch spot in my small town that was at one time successful, but failed for various mostly management reasons.
 
My only work in food service was 25 years ago waitressing in some nice places in our area. Grew up going out to fine dining places (family hobby) in New York City, Cape Cod, etc. Have dined a lot in nearby Seattle, a treasure trove of good food. Husband baked professionally for a short time years ago. I believe I have a fairly developed sense of what is good. I love to cook and am good at it. I think I am developing a sound plan.
 
My niche will include location - there is city park across the highway - captive audience in the summer (only lunch spot in town), and same for winter tourist traffic and city, school employees. Building is an old cinder block gas station. Funky, unique, unpretentious. I want to do the same with food. Can I get away with simple, good, consistent food? Nothing fancy, but fresh, healthy, and delicious? I have my own personal repertoire of items that have been popular with family and friends through the years, but never baked or cooked commercially before!
 
My primarily concerns are 1) start-up costs; 2) segregating our family's assets from the business; 3) how much work / hours it would entail; 4) how to make it profitable, or at least sustainable, cost of goods sold / income and return business.

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Auggie (16,792 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:20 PM

1. My wife owned a cafe for five years

The second-happiest day of her life is when she opened it. The happiest day of her life was when she sold it.
 
She was netting, for herself, about $20,000 a year at peak. The most trying part were employees, employee turnover, and the constant need for her to be present from 7 to 5, six days a week.
 
I think her suggestion to you would be to work in a cafe similar to the one you want to run to find out what works and what doesn't.

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cilla4progress (3,066 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:40 PM

3. I know that's good advice.

I don't know that I have the luxury...the building will sell before then.

$20K / yr. would be beyond acceptable for me! Sorry to say?

If cafe was only open 5 days a week, would that save the 6th, or is there prep, etc. on the 6th?
 
I do think I need partners /investors, an employee or 2. Want to stay small. Don't know if that is realistic.
 
My plan is to get my supplies from the local food stream, local producers. I lived in a rural part of Washington state and there are lots of growers, strong local food movement here. Also part of my "brand."

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Auggie (16,792 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 05:21 PM

7. The prep was done the day before

She was open 7 days a week, so prep was ongoing. That's why she needed good staff to ensure things were done right on her day off. If you were open 5 days a week I think you'd have to come in for half day to prep, especially if you're baking your own stuff. My wife had 4 1/2 hours from opening before the lunch crowd trickled in. She couldn't prepare her entire lunch menu in that amount time.
 
Another thing about being closed for 2 days -- leftover food spoilage. You might find yourself throwing away produce/meats/dairy you might otherwise be able to sell.
 
At first my wife bought all her breads, muffins and desserts from the food service supplier. After a few months, as she got the routine down, she started to make some of her own baked goods, eventually making nearly all of it. I think anyone would tell you to start off simple and add.
 
Since you're getting most of your food raw, you're going to spend a lot of time of time in prep, maybe more than makes sense. Local producers mean your menu is going to have change seasonally too. And you're going to have to coordinate food delivery so it comes at the same time, or at least so you have everything at the same time you need to cook with.
 
All of us here applaud your plan. Read up on it before you commit. Be ready for long hours.

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cbayer (123,464 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:31 PM

2. Tough work, I do know that.

When I started my own business (not food related), I found some great resources at the library. There were books that helped me answer the questions you are asking, including worksheets to determine the risks/benefits. They also went through all the possible scenarios for whether in incorporate, etc.
 
Some were also state specific, as the rules can be quite different, and those helped me assure that I understood all the necessary paperwork, inspections, tax laws, etc.
 
Having you own business can be so rewarding and it worked out great for me, but it's not without risk. You will always be the last one paid.

^^^at one time, a good chum of the brain-damaged primitive.

It doesn't appear so any more.

<<<wonders what's up with that.

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kentauros (22,804 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:59 PM

4. Some of your primary concerns could be answered

by finding any message boards for people in that business. I know I've come across boards just for chefs, and often they're talking about the operation of their business. That could be a better source of information on running a business.
 
And does the Small Business Administration make loans for restaurants? I know banks are highly reluctant to make those kinds of loans, so the SBA is the better choice for start-up funds.
 
Find used restaurant supply businesses in your area for your equipment. New is good for some things (like say, the grill vents and fire-retarding system.) If it's a major piece of equipment that's bought used, you might have to get a professional to check it out before putting it in. Some of the workhorse pieces, such as Hobart mixers, don't wear out very fast, and are relatively easy to maintain.
 
As for workers, a cafe here that I frequent (and have become friends with the owners) doesn't have a high turnover rate for their employees. They treat them well, and have only gone through employees due to them wanting to move on, or were there temporarily to begin with (one of them now owns a gelato business in Houston's richest mall, The Galleria, and another is an engineer now.)
 
That's cool your husband used to bake for a living. I did as well as one time, and why I know a little about the industry, too

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Nac Mac Feegle (13 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 06:54 PM

10. There are a lot of things that go on behind the scenes.

You'll have to learn everything about the phrase "Food Cost". That isn't just how much the flour, oil, water, yeast, and salt that go into a bread costs, but how much does it cost to run the oven, the mixer, the proofer, the lights, the water, and your time.
 
Sanitation is another area of concern: You have to know that certain items not only have to be stored at certain temperatures, but they have to be stored in a particular place. (e.g: raw meats are stored lowest in the refrigerator, so they can't drip juices on anything else.) The health inspectors drop in for surprise visits to check you out, and everything has to be perfect ALL THE TIME, or you will get dinged. The sanitation rules are there for a good reason: You know where you've been you don't know where that customer has been.
 
Then there are the things that you have to do to the facilities to pass inspection. Sanitizer buckets close to the work area, hand wash sinks, floor coverings, dishwasher temperatures, record keeping for certain ingredients. (Keep the tags from the bags of clams for the correct amount of time, etc...) Just a few examples.
 
It isn't easy. It's a LOT of work.

50% failure rate after one year. Of the remaining, 50% failure the second year. Another 50% failure rate of the remaining in the third year. After that, you're pretty much established, and failures after that are usually due to things such as a critical person getting ill, dying, a fire, the city deciding to do major road work that cuts off all access to your business, a new highway that bypasses the town, that sort of stuff.
 
But if you consistently have a good product that fits your market and a good price, you can make it. You have to remember to know and control as many variables as you can. What happens if tomatoes go astronomical in price, and your biggest seller is a fresh bruschetta appetizer?
 
You might want to watch a few episodes of Restaurant Impossible and Gordon Ramsay's Nightmares to get an idea of what to watch out for. Those are extreme cases, but you might learn some tips of what behaviors and situations to watch for.
 
And you still might get hit by a meteor on the way to work.

But if it all comes together, then you have Something Special. You can become The Place To Go for lunch whenever someone is in town. And make a decent living at doing something you enjoy.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: thundley4 on September 04, 2013, 07:59:47 PM
I can't imagine any DUmmie running a business except into the ground.  Then again, the DUmmie probably couldn't pass a health inspection without bribing the inspector first.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: franksolich on September 04, 2013, 08:06:06 PM
I can't imagine any DUmmie running a business except into the ground.  Then again, the DUmmie probably couldn't pass a health inspection without bribing the inspector first.

What bothers me is the primitive's obsession with how many hours she'd have to work.

That's of course important, but not important enough to be obsessed with it; the hours just happen, and one adapts.

I'm guessing most successful small businesses, the person who started one, was working damned near 168 hours a week, for the first few years.

And so I suspect the primitive's more interested in just having an 8-5 five-day-a-week twelve paid holidays a year, job, than in successfully operating a restaurant.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Tucker on September 04, 2013, 08:26:06 PM
I can just about guarantee that she will pay below minimum wage. She will expect the help to live on tips.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: dandi on September 04, 2013, 08:26:32 PM
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3) how much work / hours it would entail

The classic DUmmy dealbreaker. It takes A LOT of work and time invested in making a restaurant work. The owner pretty much has to be there every open hour for the first year to make sure things are done right, and an unknown amount of time beyond that before you find a management team who won't either rob you blind or let food and service turn to shit.

It would be interesting to see if the DUmmy pays that "living wage", the vaunted $15/hour or more, to everyone in the store, including busboys and dishwashers. I would bet almost anything they don't.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 04, 2013, 08:29:55 PM
The first thing DUmmy cillanumberprogress should plan is to provide free food to unionized schoolteachers and government drones. That policy has a proven track record at the DUmp.

She should not plan to get any useful advice from DUmmy cbayer. Her only successful business was thread slaying. If she'd actually had any success in business, she surely wouldn't be living in less than 100 sq. ft. on board a tiny little boat at a dock in California.

DUmmy cillanumberprogress would be best advised to wait out the rainy spell, after which the carwash will hire back those it laid off this week. She's way too concerned about hours worked to make a go of it. Her pie shop or whatever it is would go belly up the first time she went on strike against herself.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Chris_ on September 04, 2013, 08:40:13 PM
It would be interesting to see if the DUmmy pays that "living wage", the vaunted $15/hour or more, to everyone in the store, including busboys and dishwashers. I would bet almost anything they don't.
I hope her employees try to unionize on her.  It would be karma.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Dori on September 04, 2013, 08:47:31 PM

Quote
Considering cafe start-up - resources? ideas?

I got laid off again this week. I am looking into taking over a bakery / lunch spot in my small town that was at one time successful, but failed for various mostly management reasons.

Oh what a wonderful idea. Please, please, please open that little cafe .  I want to live vicariously through your progress and success.   :-)
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 04, 2013, 08:53:53 PM
She's a DUmmy.

If she had a luncheonette, she'd close it from 11:30 - 1:00 and go to lunch.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Mr Mannn on September 04, 2013, 09:21:51 PM
be sure to spray for earwigs
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: franksolich on September 04, 2013, 09:24:25 PM
She's a DUmmy.

If she had a luncheonette, she'd close it from 11:30 - 1:00 and go to lunch.

Uh huh.

There's a bookstore in Lincoln (Nebraska) where the owner did that, going out for coffee breaks and lunch right during those times the downtown crowd was thickest.

It's like she ran the place for her convenience, not for the convenience of customers.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Delmar on September 04, 2013, 10:17:19 PM
I'd like to have a small business someday.  A small used bookstore or something similar--doesn't really matter.  I'd have a TV running FOX news all of the time except for when Rush or Levin are on.  Then I'd just sit back and wait for the DUmmies to come in and start complaining and asking me to change it and threatening to take their business elsewhere.  Then I'd tell them to get the hell out of my store.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: USA4ME on September 04, 2013, 10:22:20 PM
Not often I give advice to the primitives, but it would be to their benefit to listen to this from me.

Here it is.

Unless you're Greek or Chinese, don't open a restaurant.

.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: thundley4 on September 04, 2013, 10:35:16 PM
Not often I give advice to the primitives, but it would be to their benefit to listen to this from me.

Here it is.

Unless you're Greek or Chinese, don't open a restaurant.

.

Most of them hate Asians, but they do love them some Greek, at least the DUmmie males do.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 04, 2013, 11:34:04 PM
Unless you're Greek or Chinese, don't open a restaurant.

Skyline Chili, which is mentioned in the Bible as "manna", was founded, owned, and operated by a Greek family in Cincinnati.

When I was first introduced to the original Skyline location, the founder's sons were there, working in white shirts and ties, sweating over the steam tables, from open to close every day. They have dozens of locations now, from Indiana to Florida. Teachers and government drones do not get free food.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Tucker on September 05, 2013, 04:24:56 AM
I'd like to have a small business someday.  A small used bookstore or something similar--doesn't really matter.  I'd have a TV running FOX news all of the time except for when Rush or Levin are on.  Then I'd just sit back and wait for the DUmmies to come in and start complaining and asking me to change it and threatening to take their business elsewhere.  Then I'd tell them to get the hell out of my store.

According to DUmmies, if you had FOX News on the TV 24/7, you'd close up shop within the 1st 30 days and be the subject of a DUmp bouncy. Why you ask? Simple. Only DUmmies read books. Therefore your customer base would be DUmbasses, who would boycott you. Everyone knows that knuckle dragging, Neanderthals don't read books. We keep our women pregnant, drink beer all day and shoot innocent people.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: RobJohnson on September 05, 2013, 05:18:37 AM
Uh huh.

There's a bookstore in Lincoln (Nebraska) where the owner did that, going out for coffee breaks and lunch right during those times the downtown crowd was thickest.

It's like she ran the place for her convenience, not for the convenience of customers.

My mother's father used to call business owners like that "too independent." I remember a barber shop in Aledo, IL that upset him as every time he would show up to try and get a hair cut there would be a sign up that said "back in five minutes." Once we waited 20 minutes and there was still no sign of the barber. It was about a twenty minute drive to the barber shop and then it was hit or miss if the guy was there. Sure you could call first but if he was cutting someone's hair he would not answer the phone. Grandpa used to get pissed!  :rofl:
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Flufferlie on September 05, 2013, 05:56:34 AM
My grandfather owned a restaurant in Charlotte, and its WORK. ( We aren't greek or asian either hehe) If they are so focused and worried on how much you have to work, odds are you don't have the guts to run a small business.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Big Dog on September 05, 2013, 06:31:17 AM
Oh what a wonderful idea. Please, please, please open that little cafe .  I want to live vicariously through your progress and success.   :-)

I like the way you think.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 05, 2013, 07:38:23 AM
My grandfather owned a restaurant in Charlotte, and its WORK. ( We aren't greek or asian either hehe) If they are so focused and worried on how much you have to work, odds are you don't have the guts to run a small business.

Oh yeah, becoming self employed, quit "A" job with "A" boss to do "MANY" public jobs with "Many" bosses......of whom 50% are assholes that you have to be polite to. DUmmies couldn't hack it if their life depended on it.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Karin on September 05, 2013, 08:05:45 AM
I do have experience in this, and became exhausted just reading the thread.  DUmmie, I lived on 4 hours of sleep  a night for a very long time.  While we were successful, we never got rich from it.  Food margins are razor thin.  The person who mentioned $20K net, that you sniffed at and pronounced unacceptable, was being optimistic and generous. 

Anyway, this is never going to happen, so I'm not going to waste time with advice.   

Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Flufferlie on September 05, 2013, 08:49:09 AM
Oh yeah, becoming self employed, quit "A" job with "A" boss to do "MANY" public jobs with "Many" bosses......of whom 50% are assholes that you have to be polite to. DUmmies couldn't hack it if their life depended on it.

Exactly. I don't even understand how you could run a small business and remain a DUmmy (aka buried with your head in the sand)
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: USA4ME on September 05, 2013, 08:56:02 AM
My grandfather owned a restaurant in Charlotte, and its WORK. ( We aren't greek or asian either hehe).

Anytime I meet someone who's Greek, my first question to them is "So, what restaurant does your family own?"

 :-)

.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Flufferlie on September 05, 2013, 09:01:39 AM
Anytime I meet someone who's Greek, my first question to them is "So, what restaurant does your family own?"

 :-)

.

Hahahaha my grandfather was constantly asked if he was Greek. After a while it irritated him quite a bit.  :lmao:

He ran that restaurant for 3 decades, and after he passed my grandmother ran it another decade.
Two homeless men broke in it one night to drink and sleep and accidentally burnt it down.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 05, 2013, 09:22:23 AM
Hahahaha my grandfather was constantly asked if he was Greek. After a while it irritated him quite a bit.  :lmao:

He ran that restaurant for 3 decades, and after he passed my grandmother ran it another decade.
Two homeless men broke in it one night to drink and sleep and accidentally burnt it down.


....and the DUmmies felt so sorry for the homeless guys that they demanded your grandmother be taxed more.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Flufferlie on September 05, 2013, 09:24:46 AM
....and the DUmmies felt so sorry for the homeless guys that they demanded your grandmother be taxed more.

Yep. I have little patience with libs. Such backwards thinking.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: RobJohnson on September 05, 2013, 09:33:06 AM
I want to buy myself a job, only work 2 hours a day, and make 20k a year./DUmmie
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 05, 2013, 10:01:44 AM
I want to buy myself a job, only work 2 hours a day, and make 20k a year./DUmmie

How's the DUmmie going to buy a job.....put it on their EBT card or something?
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: RobJohnson on September 05, 2013, 10:10:48 AM
How's the DUmmie going to buy a job.....put it on their EBT card or something?

She claimed to have "family assets."
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Texacon on September 05, 2013, 10:52:51 AM
Quote
Auggie (16,792 posts)    Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:20 PM

1. My wife owned a cafe for five years

The second-happiest day of her life is when she opened it. The happiest day of her life was when she sold it.
 
She was netting, for herself, about $20,000 a year at peak. The most trying part were employees, employee turnover, and the constant need for her to be present from 7 to 5, six days a week.
 
I think her suggestion to you would be to work in a cafe similar to the one you want to run to find out what works and what doesn't.

The DUmmie isn't listening to someone who could very well help them tremendously. 

DUmmie wanting to open a 'cafe' ... read that post and read it with all the comprehension you can muster.  Look at the part I bolded to bring to your attention.

That one little part tells you everything you need to know.  This woman, an owner of her OWN business, was making $6.41/HOUR!  Note to DUmmie, this includes; sick time, paid holidays, vacation, etc ...

What makes you think, if you are going to pay yourself below minimum wage that you can hire and retain workers?

Just food for thought.

KC
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Texacon on September 05, 2013, 10:59:05 AM
I do have experience in this, and became exhausted just reading the thread.  DUmmie, I lived on 4 hours of sleep  a night for a very long time.  While we were successful, we never got rich from it.  Food margins are razor thin.  The person who mentioned $20K net, that you sniffed at and pronounced unacceptable, was being optimistic and generous. 

Anyway, this is never going to happen, so I'm not going to waste time with advice.   



Karin, Is that how you read her response?  Personally I couldn't make heads nor tails of it. 

Quote
$20K / yr. would be beyond acceptable for me! Sorry to say?

I dunno?

KC
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Dori on September 05, 2013, 11:07:27 AM
I want her to do this.  I want to read her posts when she complains about how the city, county, state and federal governments are involved in her business affairs and are making her life miserable, with all their taxes, licenses and fees and filing their paperwork.  I want to see how she deals with lazy employees and pissed off customers that give her bad reviews on yelp.

 



Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: AprilRazz on September 05, 2013, 11:30:28 AM
The primitive needs to read "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain. Yes he is a bit of a lib but he knows about the business. Then the primitive needs to put that silly idea out of her head. He said that people like her tend to last less than a year.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Chris_ on September 05, 2013, 11:30:59 AM
The primitive needs to read "Kitchen Confidential" by Anthony Bourdain. Yes he is a bit of a lib but he knows about the business. Then the primitive needs to put that silly idea out of her head. He said that people like her tend to last less than a year.
It's a good way to go bankrupt.

I blame television for putting ideas into the heads of people who have no business opening a restaurant in the first place.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Dori on September 05, 2013, 11:37:15 AM
It's a good way to go bankrupt.

I blame television for putting ideas into the heads of people who have no business opening a restaurant in the first place.

What do you have against dummie entrepreneurship?  Just think, a dummie learning about capitalism from our perspective.




Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Texacon on September 05, 2013, 11:47:01 AM
It's a good way to go bankrupt.

I blame television for putting ideas into the heads of people who have no business opening a restaurant in the first place.

You should try to work real estate with someone who watches ALL the real estate shows on TV.  Ugh.

KC
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: JohnnyReb on September 05, 2013, 02:18:39 PM
DUmmie will sit on ass expecting the money to come gushing in so I say "wants to open a restaurant   rest-your-turd-runt".
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Karin on September 05, 2013, 02:31:59 PM
Karin, Is that how you read her response?  Personally I couldn't make heads nor tails of it. 

I dunno?

KC

Yes, she was incoherent, but it was the "sorry to say" that I took as "that's not good enough."

The insurance alone will make her run screaming into the night.  You have be insured 10 ways to Sunday.  The Workers Comp is a killer.  And the Health Dept regs...you really need to take a class in it (we did.)  Can't guess or use common sense. 

I'd love to see her learn a lesson in basic capitalism.  But, I don't think she has the steam to go forward with it.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Chris_ on September 05, 2013, 02:34:57 PM
The insurance alone will make her run screaming into the night.  You have be insured 10 ways to Sunday.  The Workers Comp is a killer.  And the Health Dept regs...you really need to take a class in it (we did.)  Can't guess or use common sense. 
Quarterly taxes, health inspections, equipment maintenance, absentee employees.

This ought to be interesting.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on September 05, 2013, 02:42:35 PM
What bothers me is the primitive's obsession with how many hours she'd have to work.

That's of course important, but not important enough to be obsessed with it; the hours just happen, and one adapts.


I'm guessing most successful small businesses, the person who started one, was working damned near 168 hours a week, for the first few years.

And so I suspect the primitive's more interested in just having an 8-5 five-day-a-week twelve paid holidays a year, job, than in successfully operating a restaurant.

I think experiencing the reality of the hard work/loooong hours/low salary draw would run this little primitive out of business in a hurry. 

Only wanting to open 5 days a week?  Fail.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Texacon on September 05, 2013, 03:04:48 PM
Yes, she was incoherent, but it was the "sorry to say" that I took as "that's not good enough."

The insurance alone will make her run screaming into the night.  You have be insured 10 ways to Sunday.  The Workers Comp is a killer.  And the Health Dept regs...you really need to take a class in it (we did.)  Can't guess or use common sense. 

I'd love to see her learn a lesson in basic capitalism.  But, I don't think she has the steam to go forward with it.

I couldn't figure out if she meant it was sorry to say that $20k would be good for her or sorry to say that $20k wasn't good enough for her.

I'm with most of the others on here.  I would love to see her give it a shot and report her experience.  I don't think there's a snowball chance in hell of her doing it nor do I think she would tell the truth about how difficult it is dealing with people just like herself.

KC
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: BannedFromDU on September 05, 2013, 03:09:48 PM

     Does someone have a mole that can go over and offer to be the first employee?

     "I'm offering to come work for you. I need $15 an hour, full paid benefits, a pension plan, six weeks paid vacation, a paid sabbatical every two years, profit sharing, and you better make that $18 an hour because I will need that to stay whole after I pay the union dues I will owe after joining one. I have no experience, but I do have a bad back and I take care of my ailing step-uncle, so I will need a few hours off here and there for that."
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Chris_ on September 05, 2013, 03:16:27 PM
     Does someone have a mole that can go over and offer to be the first employee?

     "I'm offering to come work for you. I need $15 an hour, full paid benefits, a pension plan, six weeks paid vacation, a paid sabbatical every two years, profit sharing, and you better make that $18 an hour because I will need that to stay whole after I pay the union dues I will owe after joining one. I have no experience, but I do have a bad back and I take care of my ailing step-uncle, so I will need a few hours off here and there for that."
And no drug-testing either. :rofl:
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Texacon on September 05, 2013, 03:25:28 PM
     Does someone have a mole that can go over and offer to be the first employee?

     "I'm offering to come work for you. I need $15 an hour, full paid benefits, a pension plan, six weeks paid vacation, a paid sabbatical every two years, profit sharing, and you better make that $18 an hour because I will need that to stay whole after I pay the union dues I will owe after joining one. I have no experience, but I do have a bad back and I take care of my ailing step-uncle, so I will need a few hours off here and there for that."

and I'm thinking I'll need maternity leave in the next couple of years.

KC
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Tucker on September 05, 2013, 03:37:44 PM
and I'm thinking I'll need maternity leave in the next couple of years.

KC

You mean paid medical leave to recover from an abortion?
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 05, 2013, 04:36:36 PM
I couldn't figure out if she meant it was sorry to say that $20k would be good for her or sorry to say that $20k wasn't good enough for her.

She meant she's never cleared $20,000 a year in her life, but embarrassed to have to admit it.

Anyone who wants to buy a restaurant, then work normal nine-to-five hours and close on weekends and holidays, will never limit losses to $20,000 per year, let alone make a profit.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Aristotelian on September 05, 2013, 04:41:26 PM
I want her to do this.  I want to read her posts when she complains about how the city, county, state and federal governments are involved in her business affairs and are making her life miserable, with all their taxes, licenses and fees and filing their paperwork.  I want to see how she deals with lazy employees and pissed off customers that give her bad reviews on yelp.

Seconded. This has the potential for much amusement.

I also think that Tav should stick it to the man by opening his own business which can be a model of his socialistic views...
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: AprilRazz on September 06, 2013, 06:04:07 AM
What has me the most concerned is the usual primitive attention to hygiene. If she cleans the kitchen like she probably bathes there are going to be lots of sick people out there.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: RobJohnson on September 06, 2013, 06:11:31 AM
She can smash the hamburger patties under her hairy armpits.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Big Dog on September 06, 2013, 06:16:01 AM
What has me the most concerned is the usual primitive attention to hygiene. If she cleans the kitchen like she probably bathes there are going to be lots of sick people out there.

Exactly. Another reason I would never eat at a place that was owned by a DUmmy...

But that is kind of like saying "a place owned by a unicorn". 

"Dummy - business owner"?   :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Gern on September 06, 2013, 06:25:05 AM
I want her to do this.  I want to read her posts when she complains about how the city, county, state and federal governments are involved in her business affairs and are making her life miserable, with all their taxes, licenses and fees and filing their paperwork.  I want to see how she deals with lazy employees and pissed off customers that give her bad reviews on yelp.

 





Indeed...ESPECIALLY the employees...

Have a few unskilled people working for you for a little bit and you'll change your tune about demanding a "living wage".  She'll learn that many of these people are not worth even the 8 bucks an hour you pay them, after they call in sick and/or act insubordinate, and when you fire them they run to Employment Security and file for unemployment, and you get to watch your state UI contribution skyrocket...ES almost always rules in favor of the employee--short of doing something illegal even when you get fired you can still collect.

Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 06, 2013, 12:09:42 PM
"Dummy - business owner"?

You just have to get there quick.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Dori on September 06, 2013, 12:29:20 PM
Indeed...ESPECIALLY the employees...

Have a few unskilled people working for you for a little bit and you'll change your tune about demanding a "living wage".  She'll learn that many of these people are not worth even the 8 bucks an hour you pay them, after they call in sick and/or act insubordinate, and when you fire them they run to Employment Security and file for unemployment, and you get to watch your state UI contribution skyrocket...ES almost always rules in favor of the employee--short of doing something illegal even when you get fired you can still collect.

Understanding how and when you pay employees, withhold which taxes at the proper amounts, deposit employment taxes and filling out the forms, which must filed on time to avoid penalties, then having to balance all the quarter reports to the year end reports for both the federal, state, and social security agencies isn't something you learn overnight. Of course you can hire an accountant, or payroll service, but that's not cheap either.  Oh, and of course workmen's comp, and liability insurance too.

A lot of what an owner operator does is all the bloody paperwork.  My favorite is having to figure out the city's personal property taxes.  You have to pay taxes on assets and improvements that you already paid for and paid sales taxes on.

I've also wondered if in a restaurant, and your employees are allowed to have meals for free, do you have to file a form for that or add the value to the employees paycheck and pay the taxes on that?  And if you do, can you then deduct those food expenses from your gross income? 

 


 

 
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Chris_ on September 06, 2013, 12:44:00 PM
I've also wondered if in a restaurant, and your employees are allowed to have meals for free, do you have to file a form for that or add the value to the employees paycheck and pay the taxes on that?  And if you do, can you then deduct those food expenses from your gross income? 
I've never worked in a restaurant that gave their employees food for free... it was almost always discounted (anywhere from 10-50%), but it wasn't free.

Things might be different elsewhere.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Dori on September 06, 2013, 12:50:23 PM
I've never worked in a restaurant that gave their employees food for free... it was almost always discounted (anywhere from 10-50%), but it wasn't free.

Things might be different elsewhere.

Years ago when I waitressed, they gave us food credit that showed up on our paychecks.  We were allowed to have a meal during our dinner break.  But, I can't remember if we ate more than the credit, did they charge us for the overage or not.  We would have to fill out a meal ticket to give to the cook, so it was tracked.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Gern on September 06, 2013, 01:44:41 PM


I've also wondered if in a restaurant, and your employees are allowed to have meals for free, do you have to file a form for that or add the value to the employees paycheck and pay the taxes on that?  And if you do, can you then deduct those food expenses from your gross income?  

I don't think so.  

I once asked my accountant, I think the fourth year after I started the company "So, I had to throw a bunch of old material away in the dumpster, I get to write that off, right?"

He's like..."uh....No...you already deducted it the year you bought it, right?"

"uh...yeah"

"So you're asking me if you can deduct it twice, then?"

"umm.....I see your point!"

"s'okay" he smiled "everyone asks that question."

The IRS figures you deducted it already when you included it as a list of business expenses for that year.  Whether you sold it, donated it, gave it away, threw it away, doesn't matter.  All they look at is gross income vs. expense.  Now if it were a piece of equipment that could depreciate, that's another matter.  I get people calling us all the time for donations of material because of the type of business we're in.  

"But it's tax deductible!" they say.  "No,...it's not" I answer.  "I can't deduct it twice."

.

Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: I_B_Perky on September 07, 2013, 08:30:44 PM
Didn't read all the posts on this thread from here. I did read the dummies posts.  I can tell that this will be a failure for one simple reason.

The word "work".  Mentioned multiple times in the dummie thread. Then we have "lots of work" and "hard work".

Work and dummies just do not mix. Running a restaurant is hard daggone work. Running your own restaurant is even harder. I give it a month before the dummie fails.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Skul on September 07, 2013, 08:53:40 PM
I'm a bit surprised that Franksolich, has dropped by to give advice on the proper cooking of hamburgers.
He's been awfully quiet. He's up to something.



Aw crap, Now I know. Where did Doug go?
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: GOBUCKS on September 07, 2013, 11:17:20 PM
Poor addled DUmmy grasswipe Judy offers a curious post:
Quote
Response to cilla4progress (Original post)
Fri Sep 6, 2013, 11:19 PM
grasswire (37,738 posts)

32. my family member who owned a coffee-house cafe worked like a dog
Many nights he slept in the place, on a couch. He took over this place; it was an established business and popular. But two people, a couple, had run it previously. He was only one. He baked at 4 a.m. Supervised 6 employees. Did the front and the back business. Became more and more anxious and exhausted. Two years later he had to walk away, losing his investment of sweat and money. When that downward spiral begins of being swallowed up by the work and the debt, things spin out of your control.


A horror story, yet poor addled Judy Smith was nearly swooning over her harebrained scheme to open a "non-profit" pie shop. She never did update her fellow DUmbasses on how it fell through.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x86326

We don't call them DUmmies for nothing.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: Gern on September 08, 2013, 05:13:50 PM
Poor addled DUmmy grasswipe Judy offers a curious post:

A horror story, yet poor addled Judy Smith was nearly swooning over her harebrained scheme to open a "non-profit" pie shop. She never did update her fellow DUmbasses on how it fell through.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x86326

We don't call them DUmmies for nothing.

Pfhahaha!  That's priceless...


I can imagine her thinking... 

"Non Profit" = "I get free startup money" and

"I don't have to work as hard as other small businesses"
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: J P Sousa on September 08, 2013, 08:48:19 PM
The DUmmie needs to talk to former Senator George McGovern;

Quote
  A Politician's Dream Is a Businessman's Nightmare: A 1992 column on the realities of running a business   


But my business associates and I also lived with federal, state and local rules that were all passed with the objective of helping employees, protecting the environment, raising tax dollars for schools, protecting our customers from fire hazards, etc. While I never have doubted the worthiness of any of these goals, the concept that most often eludes legislators is: "Can we make consumers pay the higher prices for the increased operating costs that accompany public regulation and government reporting requirements with reams of red tape." It is a simple concern that is nonetheless often ignored by legislators.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203406404578070543545022704.html

Poor George found out the hard way why businesses go under, and democrats are too stupid to learn from history.   :loser:


.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: RobJohnson on September 08, 2013, 08:54:18 PM
I've never worked in a restaurant that gave their employees food for free... it was almost always discounted (anywhere from 10-50%), but it wasn't free.

Things might be different elsewhere.

I was at the top of the food chain and received free meals, there was no tax penalty. It was not a 1099 issue. Other employees were given 25 or 50% off depending on position. Everyone was given free soda. Off shift discounts were 10% for most employees.

I know of other restaurants in the same chain that gave all employees one free meal per shift. The owner was just generous and did not like seeing people eating Subway or McDonalds in his restaurant. He had a few limits but he thought it was a good way for the employees to know the menu, especially when new items came out.
Title: Re: primitive wants to open a restaurant
Post by: obumazombie on September 08, 2013, 10:51:10 PM
One of the DUmmies (probably one of our moles) rightfully mentioned restaurant failure rates. As near as I can tell the figures he was referring to were non franchise business failure rates. Non franchise restaurant failure rates are higher.