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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: Revolution on November 19, 2012, 04:50:47 PM

Title: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Revolution on November 19, 2012, 04:50:47 PM
Quote
drm604 (13,421 posts)
I just got laid off.

 I have decades of IT experience and I need something in the Philly area.

OFF!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Doesn't the Obamaconomy suck, DUmbass? You voted it, you own it! If you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya: Suck it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021850941
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: BadCat on November 19, 2012, 04:59:01 PM
I hire IT types.
You need to take and pass a drug test, agree to random drug tests as well as random lifestyle polygraphs.

I'm sure that eliminates the DUmmy right there.  Hope he/she/it enjoys his/her/its foodstamps.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 19, 2012, 05:02:50 PM
Career advice for DUmmy drmnumbers: Start planning your relocation to Mumbai or New Delhi.

Get "Slumdog Millionaire" from Netflix to see how you'll live.

My advice from visiting India - find a place to live upwind of the city.

Lots of jobs in his field there, probably with his same company, maybe the job he just lost.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Ogre on November 19, 2012, 05:08:55 PM
Quote
Response to drm604 (Reply #9)
Mon Nov 19, 2012, 03:16 PM
 DavidDvorkin (11,641 posts)
11. Don't forget Craigslist.

 
Reply to this post
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Response to DavidDvorkin (Reply #11)
Mon Nov 19, 2012, 03:21 PM
 drm604 (13,422 posts)
14. I already did that.

I posted my resume with all personal information removed. That's how I got my current (for 2 weeks) job.

Is it me, or am I misreading the DUmmy's post, he only had his job for two weeks?

Things that make you go hmmm.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Ogre on November 19, 2012, 05:14:22 PM
Quote
Response to drm604 (Original post)
Mon Nov 19, 2012, 03:15 PM
nadinbrzezinski (112,061 posts)
10. kick and good luck

things are actually starting to look up

 :mental: What planet is she from? 

Seriously can anyone be more wrong than Nads? 

I swear she's the female version of Socialist Steve.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Delmar on November 19, 2012, 05:17:01 PM
Quote
Response to drm604 (Reply #9)Mon Nov 19, 2012, 03:16 PM
 DavidDvorkin (11,641 posts)
11. Don't forget Craigslist.


Quote
philadelphia craigslist > jobs > general labor jobs
please flag with care: [?]
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Avoid scams and fraud by dealing locally! Beware any deal involving Western Union, Moneygram, wire transfer, cashier check, money order, shipping, escrow, or any promise of transaction protection/certification/guarantee More info
Dog daycare room monitor (Chalfont)

Date: 2012-11-12, 3:48PM EST
Reply to this post h5vc8-3405007833@job.craigslist.org[Errors when replying to ads?]

Growing dog daycare looking for daycare room monitor

Resume or employment history required

Hours vary each week - part time day hours

Must be punctual, able to work independently, follow direction, able to work with dogs

Must be 18 years or older

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/lab/3405007833.html
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 19, 2012, 05:18:29 PM
Is it me, or am I misreading the DUmmy's post, he only had his job for two weeks?

Things that make you go hmmm.
In a just world, that would qualify him for a pension. I'm so ashamed of America.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Ogre on November 19, 2012, 05:35:02 PM
In a just world, that would qualify him for a pension. I'm so ashamed of America.

I think you forgot the sarcasm/DU mode tag. :-)

The point I was trying to make is he only had his current job two weeks.  It appears that he didn't make it past his probation period which begs the question as to why he didn't.

If I was a betting man my money would be on him being popped for a random drug test, failing it, and was subsequently "laid off".
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: DefiantSix on November 19, 2012, 05:41:48 PM
Quote
drm604 (13,421 posts)
I just got laid off.

 I have decades of IT experience and I need something in the Philly area.

Decades of experience, hmmm?  Sounds like a bitch of a way to amass "decades of experience"; 2 weeks at work and 3 months between jobs at a hitch.  :lmao:

The point I was trying to make is he only had his current job two weeks.  It appears that he didn't make it past his probation period which begs the question as to why he didn't.

If I was a betting man my money would be on him being popped for a random drug test, failing it, and was subsequently "laid off".

No bet, Ogre.  Checked up the turnip patch just before I came in to post this: I'm in no danger of falling off the turnip truck this week (h/t to JohnnyReb  :-) ).

"Fat stoned and stupid is no way to go through life, DUmbshit.  And yet you shun anything else. :lmao:
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 19, 2012, 05:43:42 PM
Quote
Response to drm604 (Original post)
Mon Nov 19, 2012, 03:29 PM
missann (7 posts)
19. Consulting an option?

If you're interested in consulting, check out Accenture, IBM, CSC, Infosys, and the like. Also the Big 4 have IT consulting arms.


Someone is going to consult with a DUmpmonkey.

How bad would it have to be before you'd pay for advice from a DUmmy?
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: thundley4 on November 19, 2012, 05:45:42 PM


Someone is going to consult with a DUmpmonkey.

How bad would it have to be before you'd pay for advice from a DUmmy?

I'd rather have to call Dell and speak with a person from India than talk with a DUmmie for computer help.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Undies on November 19, 2012, 05:47:01 PM
Quote
I have decades of IT experience


Death Panel candidate.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 19, 2012, 05:48:01 PM
I'd rather have to call Dell and speak with a person from India than talk with a DUmmie for computer help.
The funny thing is when you can hardly understand the Indian accent, but the guy says his name is "Jason".
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Randy on November 19, 2012, 06:08:39 PM
I talked with a "Dan" today who didn't know Thursday was Thanksgiving until I told him. He admitted he'd forgotten "you" had that holiday. It was the first time I'd seen the charade admitted to.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on November 19, 2012, 06:22:06 PM
I think you forgot the sarcasm/DU mode tag. :-)

It's GOBUCKS...you can safely assume he's starting from sarcasm.

 :lmao:
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Ogre on November 19, 2012, 06:59:48 PM
It's GOBUCKS...you can safely assume he's starting from sarcasm.

 :lmao:

I suspected as much, but you know what happens when you "assume".

I'm still a noob when it comes to individual personalities around here.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Evil_Conservative on November 19, 2012, 07:58:47 PM
Dang.  I was really hoping a DUmmy went online to brag about his sex life.  :(
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Freeper on November 19, 2012, 08:00:59 PM
Dang.  I was really hoping a DUmmy went online to brag about his sex life.  :(

No you don't, you would have nightmares for weeks if they did.  :-)
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 19, 2012, 08:06:10 PM
Dang.  I was really hoping a DUmmy went online to brag about his sex life.

If it ever happens, you can rest assured they will go online to brag about it.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: DLR Pyro on November 19, 2012, 08:18:21 PM
Quote
drm604 (13,421 posts)
I just got laid off.

 I have decades of IT experience and I need something in the Philly area.

Playing space invaders on your Commodore64 in your mom's basement since 1983 and 13,421 posts on DU aren't exactly what hiring managers call "decades of IT experience".
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: franksolich on November 19, 2012, 08:29:12 PM
I suspected as much, but you know what happens when you "assume".

I'm still a noob when it comes to individual personalities around here.

A short guide, with alas too many who should be mentioned, but I said "short."

GOBUCKS is good, great, at sarcasm.

Ballygrl loves everybody, including primitives.

JohnnyReb is a great raconteur.

Karin is sharply to the point.

Tanker comes across as being gravely serious, and he is, he knows his stuff, but he can be funny too.

BadCat, USA4ME, and franksolich loathe the primitives more than anybody else here.

Big Dog is the best writer, sans peer.

ChuckJ is laid back and mellow.

formerlurker is hard-hitting.

Chris_ keeps everybody in line, in a nice way.

Among moderators, Freeper is great, although I'm a little afraid of SGT Snuggle Bunny, as if scared of getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and one doesn't want to let SGT down.

Tucker is salt of the earth, down to earth.

Revolution has franksolich's tenacity.

There's more, but I said a "short" list; hope this helps.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: franksolich on November 19, 2012, 08:31:58 PM
Oh, and I forgot.

In real life, BadCat, Tucker, and franksolich are the long-hairs here.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: thundley4 on November 19, 2012, 08:32:57 PM
A short guide, with alas too many who should be mentioned, but I said "short."

GOBUCKS is good, great, at sarcasm.

Ballygrl loves everybody, including primitives.

JohnnyReb is a great raconteur.

Karin is sharply to the point.

Tanker comes across as being gravely serious, and he is, he knows his stuff, but he can be funny too.

BadCat, USA4ME, and franksolich loathe the primitives more than anybody else here.

Big Dog is the best writer, sans peer.

ChuckJ is laid back and mellow.

formerlurker is hard-hitting.

Chris_ keeps everybody in line, in a nice way.

Among moderators, Freeper is great, although I'm a little afraid of SGT Snuggle Bunny, as if scared of getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and one doesn't want to let SGT down.

Tucker is salt of the earth, down to earth.

Revolution has franksolich's tenacity.

Thundley4 is just a smart ass.

There's more, but I said a "short" list; hope this helps.

Added one more to the list.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Freeper on November 19, 2012, 08:38:51 PM
Oh, and I forgot.

In real life, BadCat, Tucker, and franksolich are the long-hairs here.

I may be the only bald person here.  :-)
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: thundley4 on November 19, 2012, 08:40:11 PM
I may be the only bald person here.  :-)

I'm not far behind in that area. I keep it short enough that I look bald from a distance.
Title: Re: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on November 19, 2012, 08:42:01 PM
When I saw the thread title, I thought it was from Stevie numbers.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: franksolich on November 19, 2012, 08:42:16 PM
Added one more to the list.

Oh now, no way.

You're a paragon of composure and equinimity, calm even in a storm.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Chris_ on November 19, 2012, 08:44:29 PM
I may be the only bald person here.  :-)
There's a difference between being bald and giving up. :whistling:
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Freeper on November 19, 2012, 08:46:11 PM
There's a difference between being bald and giving up. :whistling:

My wife doesn't mind the baldness so it's a moot point.  :-)
Title: Re: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOBUCKS on November 19, 2012, 08:58:06 PM
When I saw the thread title, I thought it was from Stevie numbers.
I can see why you'd think that, since DUmmies lie, all the time.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Evil_Conservative on November 19, 2012, 08:59:47 PM
When I saw the thread title, I thought it was from Stevie numbers.

See, I wasn't the only one thinking about some DUmmies sex life...
Title: Re: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: DefiantSix on November 19, 2012, 09:02:45 PM
When I saw the thread title, I thought it was from Stevie numbers.

Naw; if it was Stevie numbers, the thread title would have been "Missed it by THAT MUCH" :-)
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: thundley4 on November 19, 2012, 09:24:56 PM
See, I wasn't the only one thinking about some DUmmies sex life...

When it comes to their sex lives, DUmmies have it well in hand.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: DefiantSix on November 19, 2012, 09:29:55 PM
When it comes to their sex lives, DUmmies have it well in hand.

:puke:
Title: Re: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Revolution on November 20, 2012, 12:13:16 AM
Naw; if it was Stevie numbers, the thread title would have been "Missed it by THAT MUCH" :-)

That or "Wrong Hole"  :rotf: Pretty much the same thing, but you're a much more polite man than I.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: RobJohnson on November 20, 2012, 12:34:26 AM
When it comes to their sex lives, DUmmies have it well in hand.


San Francisco considers ordinance against public nudity. Apparently they feel public nudity has gotten out of hand, or - too often - in hand-  Dennis Miller
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Revolution on November 20, 2012, 12:42:50 AM
Just heard a report about that earlier tonight. Sick. So as of now they're all just allowed to walk around San Fran all willy nilly with their parts hanging out? Imagine hundreds of Steve Dawes, and Nadins' walking around buck naked... :puke:

Not to mention many of them could have herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, and probably AIDS too. SPREAD the love, I guess... :puke:
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: RobJohnson on November 20, 2012, 12:48:55 AM
Just heard a report about that earlier tonight. Sick. So as of now they're all just allowed to walk around San Fran all willy nilly with their parts hanging out? Imagine hundreds of Steve Dawes, and Nadins' walking around buck naked... :puke:

Not to mention many of them could have herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, and probably AIDS too. SPREAD the love, I guess... :puke:

 :rofl:
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on November 20, 2012, 12:49:24 AM
of Steve Dawes, and Nadins' walking around buck naked...


[youtube=425,350] http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=LmHhMQ26KLM [/youtube]
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Revolution on November 20, 2012, 02:03:21 AM
And I thought Matt & Trey took it a little too far with it playing forwards. Jesus... I should bs you for that nastiness. Lol.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: delilahmused on November 20, 2012, 03:07:44 AM
Dang.  I was really hoping a DUmmy went online to brag about his sex life.  :(

Ewwwwwww! I think I just threw up in my mouth a little...panther suits...cat women/men/undetermined being serenaded by a ghost chicken breathing heavy...brain bleach!

Cindie
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 20, 2012, 05:42:32 AM
Oh now, no way.

You're a paragon of composure and equinimity, calm even in a storm.

I would hope that I'm somewhat more difficult to decipher, but I know that you have me figured out. :wink:
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Karin on November 20, 2012, 07:43:40 AM
And typically:

Quote
Response to drm604 (Original post)
Mon Nov 19, 2012, 10:25 PM
TexasBushwhacker (2,590 posts)
81. Check out the school districts and universities in your area

My brother got a great IT job with a school district and since they have their own retirement system, you (and they) contribute to that instead of Social Security. Then when you retire you can get Social Security AND Teacher Retirement or you can take a lump sum.

Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Rebel on November 20, 2012, 07:45:55 AM
Quote
TexasBushwhacker (2,590 posts)

81. Check out the school districts and universities in your area

My brother got a great IT job with a school district and since they have their own retirement system, you (and they) contribute to that instead of Social Security. Then when you retire you can get Social Security AND Teacher Retirement or you can take a lump sum.

Shame you DUmbasses don't understand that the very companies and system you trash are the same companies, via the same system, that the retirement account is invested in.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Undies on November 20, 2012, 08:15:29 AM
Shame you DUmbasses don't understand that the very companies and system you trash are the same companies, via the same system, that the retirement account is invested in.

And solar panels are made out of petroleum by-products.  That fact has nothing to do with this subject, but I thought I would throw it in anyway.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: Karin on November 20, 2012, 08:42:56 AM
Rebel, they just never make that connection.  They think pension funds are sitting in a piggy bank.  They have spent the last four years bitching up a storm about "corporations" and how unspeakably evil they are.  It was all the rage.  Their precious pensions that they covet rely on a large basket of successful corporations, of course.  Calpers was the largest investor in a company I once worked for; they sat on the board even. 

I know you all know this; I only mention this in case a lurker stops by and maybe a neuron clicks.  But I'm not counting on it. 
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: BadCat on November 20, 2012, 04:20:18 PM
When it comes to their sex lives, DUmmies have it well in hand.

Nope.
DUmmies are so vile, not even their own hands will **** them.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: zeitgeist on November 20, 2012, 04:47:04 PM
Rebel, they just never make that connection.  They think pension funds are sitting in a piggy bank.  They have spent the last four years bitching up a storm about "corporations" and how unspeakably evil they are.  It was all the rage.  Their precious pensions that they covet rely on a large basket of successful corporations, of course.  Calpers was the largest investor in a company I once worked for; they sat on the board even.  

I know you all know this; I only mention this in case a lurker stops by and maybe a neuron clicks.  But I'm not counting on it.  

Exactly.  They have no idea who institutional investors (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institutional_investor) are and no concept of debt or equity.  Then they complain when the bottom drops out of their 401k.  I am having a hard time putting a phrase on this but it is really a gross lack of fundamental financial education.  It would seem one does not have to read the Journal every day to have a decent grasp on the subject of money and investing for retirement.  But then I would be happy to just have kids learn about interest and how to balance a check book.  

RANT.  Computers are wonderful when you need an answer but they to noting to instill the understanding of how the problem is solved and what the answer means it context of the problem presented.  Just getting the right answer by plugging in the numbers and pressing the enter key.......oh, never mind. I will never give the sales girl a twenty and a penny ever again ... :thatsright:  /RANT
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: GOP Congress on November 20, 2012, 11:34:59 PM
I may be the only bald person here.  :-)

I'm pretty much there. I use a razor to take off the "perv ring" so I look more like a UFC fighter.
Title: Re: Just Got Laid...
Post by: DefiantSix on November 20, 2012, 11:40:36 PM
I'm pretty much there. I use a razor to take off the "perv ring" so I look more like a UFC fighter.

Yup; me too.  Funny thing is, keeping the "streamlined" look is more high maintenance than hair care ever was when I had any. :confused: