The Conservative Cave
The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: DixieBelle on October 29, 2010, 10:38:34 PM
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This should probably be in the cryin in my beer section. :evillaugh:
My husband's liberal relative and her best friend are here staying with us so they can go to the Jon Stewart rally tommorow night.
OMG I am having my very own super bouncy!!! :lmao: :p :thatsright: :mental: :evillaugh: :censored:
So far I've heard:
"I hate Sarah Palin with the intensity of a1000 suns"
"We're in so much debt because of Bush's wars!"
"Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher rock!"
Seriously. How can an educated 30 year woman be so dumb? Nevermind it's rheotorical.
They are downstairs making signs for the rally. I have bitten my tongue in two to keep from saying what I'm really thinking!! :fuelfire: :innocent:
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:rofl: Just think how much better it will be when they leave.
Ommmm....
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I purposely chose to not utter a single word and smile and be the best Aunt ever! I can't WAIT to tell them when they leave, I'm really glad you had a good time in a knuckle-dragging, racist, tea baggers house. :rofl:
I should set up a hidden camera.
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This should probably be in the cryin in my beer section. :evillaugh:
My husband's liberal relative and her best friend are here staying with us so they can go to the Jon Stewart rally tommorow night.
OMG I am having my very own super bouncy!!! :lmao: :p :thatsright: :mental: :evillaugh: :censored:
So far I've heard:
"I hate Sarah Palin with the intensity of a1000 suns"
"We're in so much debt because of Bush's wars!"
"Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher rock!"
Seriously. How can an educated 30 year woman be so dumb? Nevermind it's rheotorical.
They are downstairs making signs for the rally. I have bitten my tongue in two to keep from saying what I'm really thinking!! :fuelfire: :innocent:
you have guns, right? :-)
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Yeah :-)
should I go clean one first thing in the morning?
Okay, props to my hubby for trying to come up with snarky slogans for their signs that could be taken either way. :rofl: I'll have to wait and see which ones they come up with.
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This should probably be in the cryin in my beer section. :evillaugh:
My husband's liberal relative and her best friend are here staying with us so they can go to the Jon Stewart rally tommorow night.
OMG I am having my very own super bouncy!!! :lmao: :p :thatsright: :mental: :evillaugh: :censored:
So far I've heard:
"I hate Sarah Palin with the intensity of a1000 suns"
"We're in so much debt because of Bush's wars!"
"Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher rock!"
Seriously. How can an educated 30 year woman be so dumb? Nevermind it's rheotorical.
They are downstairs making signs for the rally. I have bitten my tongue in two to keep from saying what I'm really thinking!! :fuelfire: :innocent:
see? that is control. kids, watch this and not some NFL receiver*.
*yes, I know
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Yeah :-)
should I go clean one first thing in the morning?
Okay, props to my hubby for trying to come up with snarky slogans for their signs that could be taken either way. :rofl: I'll have to wait and see which ones they come up with.
do what everyone is doing; just remain quiet, and then clobber them at the ballot box
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I gotta come up with a witty and devasting (but delivered calmy and sweetly) retort as they are leaving Monday.
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I gotta come up with a witty and devasting (but delivered calmy and sweetly) retort as they are leaving Monday.
as a southern belle, you know that understatement is the quickest way to nuclear explosion.
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MAKE PIECE(s) SO WE CAN ABORT THEM.
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LOLZ.
They came up with "homosexuality prevents abortions" for their sign. WTF.
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LOLZ.
They came up with "homosexuality prevents abortions" for their sign. WTF.
But doesn't it help AIDS spread?
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LOLZ.
They came up with "homosexuality prevents abortions" for their sign. WTF.
I LOVE to torture the liberal members of my wife's family.
"where is my ****ing pony", is a good one, actually.
I converted my wife to republicanism before I married her. she became a conservative
after that.
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But doesn't it help AIDS spread?
i hope you were being :sarcasm:
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Ask her if Obama was going to spread the wealth around, why are eating off my table?
Ask her if Obama was going to spread the wealth around, why are you staying in my house and not in a motel?
Ask her if Obama was going to spread the wealth around, why are you not home packing for the trip to India?
ah heck...it's to early and no coffee yet but you get the idea.
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I gotta come up with a witty and devasting (but delivered calmy and sweetly) retort as they are leaving Monday.
Just wave and say "Hey! Jon Stewert for president! How could that *comedian* be any worse at destroying YOUR economy, forcing your children and grandchildren into indebted servitude, and murdering your neighbors via terrorism than the current joker in the White Mosque."
Break out mops and buckets to clean up the bloody puss from the resultant exploding heads.
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LOLZ.
They came up with "homosexuality prevents abortions" for their sign. WTF.
Well I don't know about you but if I saw that shit in my house, I would promptly kick their ass out into the street!
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Just wave and say "Hey! Jon Stewert for president! How could that *comedian* be any worse at destroying YOUR economy, forcing your children and grandchildren into indebted servitude, and murdering your neighbors via terrorism than the current joker in the White Mosque."
Break out mops and buckets to clean up the bloody puss from the resultant exploding heads.
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
And now, having actually thought about that statement... :bawl: :bawl: :bawl:
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Fox News on the television the entire time they are there is torture enough for them -- make sure you look for the bouncy at DU with the lead in "staying with freeper relatives who had faux news on 24/7...." next week.
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Ugh. Well they are getting ready and will be leaving soon. I tried to tell them last night that they wanted to leave early because it really doesn't matter what time it starts, it's going to be crowded on the Metro since it runs a Sat. schedule. They were going to leave at 11. LOL!
My husband woke them up about 7:30 (let me sleep in bless his heart) and they started rushing around and panicking because CNN is telling them that it's already crowded or some nonsense like that. Tee Hee!
And in typical liberal fashion, they were oblivious to the whole "Dixe is sleeping in because it's a Saturday" rule in our house and woke me up by talking loudly in the hall outside my bedroom. Seriously. I swear, if she wasn't family.....
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Ugh. Well they are getting ready and will be leaving soon. I tried to tell them last night that they wanted to leave early because it really doesn't matter what time it starts, it's going to be crowded on the Metro since it runs a Sat. schedule. They were going to leave at 11. LOL!
My husband woke them up about 7:30 (let me sleep in bless his heart) and they started rushing around and panicking because CNN is telling them that it's already crowded or some nonsense like that. Tee Hee!
And in typical liberal fashion, they were oblivious to the whole "Dixe is sleeping in because it's a Saturday" rule in our house and woke me up by talking loudly in the hall outside my bedroom. Seriously. I swear, if she wasn't family.....
DB, I am so proud of you!!!!
They aren't coming back after they go to poopstock, are they?
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I think when you send them on their merry way today.....
Bless your hearts, girls....do be careful today.
remembering of course, that "bless" is a 4 syllable word.... :evillaugh:
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LOLZ Deb!!!! I will.
Yeah, they are here until Monday so I'm sure they will jacked up like Chris Matthews' leg when they get back.
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LOLZ Deb!!!! I will.
Yeah, they are here until Monday so I'm sure they will jacked up like Chris Matthews' leg when they get back.
Oh GOD bless. I don't know what to tell you then. That is an awful long time to test southern grace.
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You are a bigger person, I couldn't hold back the jabs. When my brother was here last Christmas he watched msnbc all the time, I thought allowing him to watch it on my TV was selfless, you beat me in that department.
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
So (BOUNCY ALERT! :-) )
They left and about 5 minutes later I unloaded on my hubby and we basically spent about 15 minutes bitching and scratching our headss over the cognitative dissonance and how they both sound like typical liberal elites who just don't get it.
Then she walks back in!!!! We live in a townhouse and they were parked out front (rental car) and were apparently searching the car for a missing ipod/cell phone that one of them lost. I had NO IDEA they were still outside!!!! We knew her friend had lost her ipod/phone because we spent all morning looking around our den for it. I just assumed that they would look in the rental car and then drive off.
:uhsure: :-) :rotf: :lmao:
I know they TOTALLY had to hear most of what we were saying. Esp. if she was standing on my front porch about to come in the door. The front door was unlocked and she very quietly opened the door like she knew we were talking and didn't want to interrupt.
She had the good graces not to say anything to my face though.
I'm TOTALLY busted and love it!!!! :rotf: :fuelfire:
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!
So (BOUNCY ALERT! :-) )
They left and about 5 minutes later I unloaded on my hubby and we basically spent about 15 minutes bitching and scratching our headss over the cognitative dissonance and how they both sound like typical liberal elites who just don't get it.
Then she walks back in!!!! We live in a townhouse and they were parked out front (rental car) and were apparently searching the car for a missing ipod/cell phone that one of them lost. I had NO IDEA they were still outside!!!! We knew her friend had lost her ipod/phone because we spent all morning looking around our den for it. I just assumed that they would look in the rental car and then drive off.
:uhsure: :-) :rotf: :lmao:
I know they TOTALLY had to hear most of what we were saying. Esp. if she was standing on my front porch about to come in the door. The front door was unlocked and she very quietly opened the door like she knew we were talking and didn't want to interrupt.
She had the good graces not to say anything to my face though.
I'm TOTALLY busted and love it!!!! :rotf: :fuelfire:
Perfect Southern charm, perfect "passive-aggressive" Southern Charm. Straight out of my Grandmother's play book.
You told her how you felt, but can never be blamed for it, because she was the one eavesdropping!!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Well bless her heart....even if it is on the wrong side.
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The more I think about it, the better I feel. I did say to my hubby "Well I hope you noticed that I have had the good graces to keep my mouth shut and have been on my best behavior because I love your niece and she's family and that comes above all else." I also said, "I think she's a smart young woman who is horribly misguided and has been spending too much time living in a Liberal bubble called Austin Tx."
He also said some pretty snarky things so she know we BOTH feel that way. :-) I hope she DID hear us.
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I would've went berserk already. :-)
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You have the patience of Job.......I would have laced their morning coffee with Digitalis........for the good of the Republic.....
doc
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I gotta come up with a witty and devastating (but delivered cal my and sweetly) retort as they are leaving Monday.
Witty and devastating retort.....I hope you'll enjoy the election results tomorrow as much as I will.
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Ugh. Well they are getting ready and will be leaving soon. I tried to tell them last night that they wanted to leave early because it really doesn't matter what time it starts, it's going to be crowded on the Metro since it runs a Sat. schedule. They were going to leave at 11. LOL!
My husband woke them up about 7:30 (let me sleep in bless his heart) and they started rushing around and panicking because CNN is telling them that it's already crowded or some nonsense like that. Tee Hee!
And in typical liberal fashion, they were oblivious to the whole "Dixe is sleeping in because it's a Saturday" rule in our house and woke me up by talking loudly in the hall outside my bedroom. Seriously. I swear, if she wasn't family.....
Ya know...as a child...growing up...we had many family members...well...they were pets...still considered as family members...put down because they were ill and that was the humane thing to do...
...jest sayn'...
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LOLZ Deb!!!! I will.
Yeah, they are here until Monday so I'm sure they will jacked up like Chris Matthews' leg when they get back.
Ya know...*I* gotta know...when they return...did you ask them "Hey! How was Poop-stock?"
I wish you could post pics BUTT...I know *WE* are not like that...damn shame I say...
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I would've went berserk already. :-)
I'd be 75% through my 3rd gallon of Chivas scotch already...
Good thing I DID pick a good time to stop snorting glue...
(http://www.trippytraveller.com/images/picked-a-bad-day-to-stop-sniffing-glue.jpg)
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You have the patience of Job.......I would have laced their morning coffee with Digitalis........for the good of the Republic.....
doc
OMG!!!
Please do NOT tell me you operate a bread-and-breakfast...
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Have to keep an eye on the DU for the "Weekend hell with hater neonazicon 'lations" bouncy next week.
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Just wave and say "Hey! Jon Stewert for president! How could that *comedian* be any worse at destroying YOUR economy, forcing your children and grandchildren into indebted servitude, and murdering your neighbors via terrorism than the current joker in the White Mosque."
Break out mops and buckets to clean up the bloody puss from the resultant exploding heads.
HA HA!!! :cheersmate: :hi5:
I feel so bad for you Dixie. You should log on here and let them "read" over your shoulder! :naughty: :-)
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I've considered leaving CC open on my laptop. :evillaugh:
I think I will wear my Reagan t-shirt in the morning that says "old school conservative". :p
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I've considered leaving CC open on my laptop. :evillaugh:
I think I will wear my Reagan t-shirt in the morning that says "old school conservative". :p
I hope you mixed up a pitcher of Kool-Aid for them...
:lmao:
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Seriously. I swear, if she wasn't family.....
See, those are the great things about MY family.
1--they're 3000 miles away.
2--if they do show up, I don't have to be nice when they're stupid.
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my in-laws are big democrats. my wife wears my gear all the time, and when she came to a family function wearing a "bush-cheney 2004" sweatshirt, I thought I was going to have to fight for my life. :-)
my BIL still hasn't forgiven me for converting her.
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LOLZ :-)
Well everything we read about DUmmies is true. They really are little robots spouting talking points. :whatever:
Let's see, I got quotes from Mikey Moore, Alex Jones and Bill Mahr all night.
Thank God my hubby feels more comfortable shooting them down than I do. This is his niece and her friend (who is the more animated of the two) and on several occassions, he's shut them up with a witty comeback. He's a conservative but not nearly the political junkie that I am. He has most certainly paid attention though.
:hi5:
Last night the friend insisted on pulling up some youtube clips to show hubby how evil Glenn Beck is. One of them was a clip from Lewis Black (who we had seen). Hubby just looked at her and said, "you realize he's a COMEDIAN taking sound bites out of context right?" She said something along the lines of "it's fake but accurate" I SWEAR! Hubby says, "hmmm...isn't that what you said you had a problem with Bush for earlier when talking about Iraq?" She sputtered and stuttered and then he said, "that is why you should listen to people in the know who aren't COMEDIANS. You should try to get your news from somewhere other than Comedy Central"
Silence. :lmao:
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"I hate Sarah Palin with the intensity of a1000 suns"
That's all? Pfft. I detest Obama and all his ilk with energy and force equal to the energy emitted by the supermassive black hole core of the "death star" active galaxy:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4bZx_HKR-Y&feature=fvw[/youtube]
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_F_aU5uT_8[/youtube]
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That's all? Pfft. I detest Obama and all his ilk with energy and force equal to the energy emitted by the supermassive black hole core of the "death star" active galaxy:
I'd say that you win . . . :fuelfire:
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Fox News on the television the entire time they are there is torture enough for them -- make sure you look for the bouncy at DU with the lead in "staying with freeper relatives who had faux news on 24/7...." next week.
I think they are already posting...
LOL Freeper disturbed to find kinfolk attending Sanity Rally (http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9420990)
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See, those are the great things about MY family.
1--they're 3000 miles away.
2--if they do show up, I don't have to be nice when they're stupid.
Clones are like that, ya know... then there is that "genetic passing of the guard" thang... :tongue: :tongue: :rotf: :rotf:
:popcorn: :popcorn:
(running...ducking...)
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LOLZ :-)
Well everything we read about DUmmies is true. They really are little robots spouting talking points. :whatever:
Let's see, I got quotes from Mikey Moore, Alex Jones and Bill Mahr all night.
Thank God my hubby feels more comfortable shooting them down than I do. This is his niece and her friend (who is the more animated of the two) and on several occassions, he's shut them up with a witty comeback. He's a conservative but not nearly the political junkie that I am. He has most certainly paid attention though.
:hi5:
Last night the friend insisted on pulling up some youtube clips to show hubby how evil Glenn Beck is. One of them was a clip from Lewis Black (who we had seen). Hubby just looked at her and said, "you realize he's a COMEDIAN taking sound bites out of context right?" She said something along the lines of "it's fake but accurate" I SWEAR! Hubby says, "hmmm...isn't that what you said you had a problem with Bush for earlier when talking about Iraq?" She sputtered and stuttered and then he said, "that is why you should listen to people in the know who aren't COMEDIANS. You should try to get your news from somewhere other than Comedy Central"
Silence. :lmao:
:hi5: :hi5: :hi5: :hi5: :hi5: to your Hubs, Dixie!!!
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Really, one has to be a Yankee to have a really dark sense of humor.
One week before they arrive hit the book stores [used] and select books about Euthanasia, Abortion is the answer to world problems, and why the Gay population will solve the world population explosion.
Place the books on the table next to the guest bed they will use.
Spend a few hours making up signs in the garage on the line of the Hippie style, Make love not war, Tax the rich, A chicken in every pot.
Head for the mall and get Shirts that read, Obama pays my rent and gives us food stamps.
When the family arrives keep Fox news on 24/7 as you tell them you need to know the Enemy and what they are thinking.
Show no interest in them or family just discuss how you can beat the system with Obama. Tell them how you got out of paying $50,000 on credit cards, got to keep the boat, the house and your summer camp on their taxes. Bankrupt court is great if you know the Judge.
Get all excited about the rally, get out the signs, put on the Shirts, awake them at 4 AM to get to the rally early to get a good seat.
Make fun of the other people and their signs, you be the liberal from hell that makes fun of the street people or the handicapped.--Call them lazy ass folks.
When you get home serve them Prime roast with the explanation that the food stamps had made a mistake and you and family get $1,500 a month for food. Mention in passing that both of you had not worked a day in a year and may get another 18 months of welfare.
Let them know that you have lived mortgage free for 6 months as the lending company cannot find your paper work so at this time no one knows who owns the house.
Keep running down to the cellar with a furtive look then tell them for cash money you have a Meths lab down there and have to make sure it doesn't blow up.
Hang a large black velvet painting of Obama over the fireplace with votive candles under it. This great man allows us to live as we do we have found our GOD.
This is Yankee Hospitality to family that will never visit again.
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Anyway,..... enjoyed reading the thread, DixieBelle, and hope you got the moonbats off safe & sound. Kudos to your self-control and impeccable manners. I could not have done that. That was pretty funny her walking in like that when you thought she was gone. :-)
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Hang a large black velvet painting of Obama over the fireplace with votive candles under it.
I'll do you one better.
How about light those votive candles on top of the painting of the imposter in the fire place and watch it BURN! :hyper: :-)
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Well they are off and safe and sound back at their home(s) as of this afternoon.
Whew!!! Now I gotta go burn some sage. :rofl:
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Well they are off and safe and sound back at their home(s) as of this afternoon.
Whew!!! Now I gotta go burn some sage. :rofl:
:hi5:
:lmao:
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Well they are off and safe and sound back at their home(s) as of this afternoon.
Whew!!! Now I gotta go burn some sage. :rofl:
:lmao: :cheersmate:
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Well they are off and safe and sound back at their home(s) as of this afternoon.
Whew!!! Now I gotta go burn some sage. :rofl:
H5 given for completing the stint without killing them, or even irritating them.
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H5 given for completing the stint without killing them, or even irritating them.
Oh she irritated them, but she did it while looking fabulous.
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Really, one has to be a Yankee to have a really dark sense of humor.
Bull-SHIT.