The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 07:53:03 PM

Title: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 07:53:03 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.

Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Carl on March 20, 2008, 07:55:18 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.

What a way to go!!! :naughty:





Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: VelvetElvis on March 20, 2008, 07:56:25 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.
Bad example, Shady.

That's not a brag, that's a well known fact!  :-)

 :bolt:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 07:57:09 PM
LOL.... peeps you aren't taking this seriesly.  :thatsright:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on March 20, 2008, 07:58:28 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Have you crushed a mans skull between your thighs? :therock:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: asdf2231 on March 20, 2008, 07:59:21 PM
I once smothered a midget stick up artist to death with my foreskin in a Tulsa barroom.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on March 20, 2008, 08:00:21 PM
I once smothered a midget stick up artist to death with my foreskin in a Tulsa barroom.

Who hasn't? :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Carl on March 20, 2008, 08:00:33 PM
LOL.... peeps you aren't taking this seriesly.  :thatsright:

Well the thought of my head between.....you get the idea,made it a bit hard ( :-)) to concentrate.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: dutch508 on March 20, 2008, 08:00:54 PM
I twisted his head off like a bottlecap.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:01:47 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Have you crushed a mans skull between your thighs? :therock:

You're over-analyzing Toasted. Come on peepers!   :p
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 20, 2008, 08:02:10 PM
you have destroyed more men than the plague? :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:03:04 PM
I once smothered a midget stick up artist to death with my foreskin in a Tulsa barroom.


Huh? I don't think that line will work on me. Come on asdf, some projection is needed!  :lmao:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: asdf2231 on March 20, 2008, 08:03:32 PM
I once made a woman in China have such an intense orgasm she died.  Blood was running out of her nose.

They asked me to become a porn star at one point in my life but I was too busy working on my Master's thesis and since I was getting all the porn stars at my place ANYWAY I figured why work at it.

Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:03:35 PM
I twisted his head off like a bottlecap.

Perfectissimo!  :evillaugh:

Follow dutch's lead.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: dutch508 on March 20, 2008, 08:04:13 PM
Projection is how he smothered him with a forekin.

Plus, he didn't stipulate it was his.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:04:22 PM
you have destroyed more men than the plague? :-)

That is pretty good!   :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: asdf2231 on March 20, 2008, 08:04:51 PM
I once smothered a midget stick up artist to death with my foreskin in a Tulsa barroom.


Huh? I don't think that line will work on me. Come on asdf, some projection is needed!  :lmao:

Well you hadn't SPECIFIED! Yeesh!

And the foreskin thing was true.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:05:53 PM
LOL.... peeps you aren't taking this seriesly.  :thatsright:

Well the thought of my head between.....you get the idea,made it a bit hard ( :-)) to concentrate.

Carl, you must chase those demon thoughts away.... go away naughty thoughts!  :evillaugh:

We have work to do!  :rotf:

Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:06:52 PM
How about "world travel" themes..... ?.....
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: VelvetElvis on March 20, 2008, 08:07:56 PM
I twisted his head off like a bottlecap.

Perfectissimo!  :evillaugh:

Follow dutch's lead.

Ok.

The martial arts move formerly commonly known as the Flying Groin Kick is now known simply as "The Shady"
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:08:24 PM
I once smothered a midget stick up artist to death with my foreskin in a Tulsa barroom.


Huh? I don't think that line will work on me. Come on asdf, some projection is needed!  :lmao:

Well you hadn't SPECIFIED! Yeesh!

And the foreskin thing was true.

Hmmmm.... I thought I delivered my specifications to the forum quite succinctly....

Quote
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.


The last I checked, I was cut.  :rotf:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:09:15 PM
I twisted his head off like a bottlecap.

Perfectissimo!  :evillaugh:

Follow dutch's lead.

Ok.

The martial arts move formerly commonly known as the Flying Groin Kick is now known simply as "The Shady"

Oh good! I am capturing all of these.  :bow:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 20, 2008, 08:10:46 PM

(reaching a bit)

you sit on a bar stool like you are doing it a favor?
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:11:04 PM
Projection is how he smothered him with a forekin.

Plus, he didn't stipulate it was his.

I smothered someone with someone else's foreskin.  :rotf:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Carl on March 20, 2008, 08:11:35 PM
I twisted his head off like a bottlecap.

Perfectissimo!  :evillaugh:

Follow dutch's lead.

Ok.

The martial arts move formerly commonly known as the Flying Groin Kick is now known simply as "The Shady"

Oh good! I am capturing all of these.  :bow:

The last thing to go through his mind was my...

 :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: dutch508 on March 20, 2008, 08:12:35 PM
The last guy who looked at me that way is still looking...for his testicals.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:15:25 PM
I twisted his head off like a bottlecap.

Perfectissimo!  :evillaugh:

Follow dutch's lead.

Ok.

The martial arts move formerly commonly known as the Flying Groin Kick is now known simply as "The Shady"

Oh good! I am capturing all of these.  :bow:

The last thing to go through his mind was my...

 :-)

flyin' groin?  :lmao:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:16:53 PM
The last guy who looked at me that way is still looking...for his testicals.

I've always been that way. I've always taken a little something something with me to remember him by.  :popcorn:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: VelvetElvis on March 20, 2008, 08:19:27 PM
Another.

You once were accused of practicing surgery without a license when you removed a bothersome cad's manhood with an icy glare.



Say, just what purpose do you have in mind for these pearls, milady?
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: dutch508 on March 20, 2008, 08:19:55 PM
They called him 'James Bond' because Dutch was already copywrited.
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:21:31 PM
Another.

You once were accused of practicing surgery without a license when you removed a bothersome cad's manhood with an icy glare.



Say, just what purpose do you have in mind for these pearls, milady?

You will be the first to know if these gems get published.

*rubs hands* Muwahahahaha.

I know it is hard to believe, but I am not a braggart by nature so I need help.  :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on March 20, 2008, 08:24:08 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Hey Schade! This may be of some help! :-)http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:26:50 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Hey Schade! This may be of some help! :-)http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html)

OMG... Im in love with you.

I think there is a Jack Bauer one floating around too. I'll have to sort of tweak them.  :lmao:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:27:37 PM
They called him 'James Bond' because Dutch was already copywrited.

This is so not about you.  :lmao:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on March 20, 2008, 08:29:10 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Hey Schade! This may be of some help! :-)http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html)

OMG... Im in love with you.

I think there is a Jack Bauer one floating around too. I'll have to sort of tweak them.  :lmao:
I can spend hours on that site :rotf:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:30:01 PM
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Schade pajamas
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:32:27 PM
This is great.....


Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Schady, Hidden ....fill in blank  :naughty:..... "
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:34:04 PM
This is great.....


Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Schady, Hidden ....fill in blank  :naughty:..... "

Prolly comes in handy when executing the hidden groin kick.  :lmao:
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:35:07 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Hey Schade! This may be of some help! :-)http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html)

OMG... Im in love with you.

I think there is a Jack Bauer one floating around too. I'll have to sort of tweak them.  :lmao:
I can spend hours on that site :rotf:

You can see where this is going.... I think most people can, even the clever lurkers.  :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on March 20, 2008, 08:38:10 PM
I cannot disclose what I am up to, but I need your input. Please post outrageous brags that I, Schadenfreude, have free license to. They need to be a bit racy, a tad narcisstic, and practically unbelievable.

Example:

"I have crushed a man's skull between my thighs"

Go ahead... post your best.


Hey Schade! This may be of some help! :-)http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page3.html)

OMG... Im in love with you.

I think there is a Jack Bauer one floating around too. I'll have to sort of tweak them.  :lmao:
I can spend hours on that site :rotf:

You can see where this is going.... I think most people can, even the clever lurkers.  :-)
I'll be looking for you :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:44:26 PM

(reaching a bit)

you sit on a bar stool like you are doing it a favor?

Oh my! lol... I missed this one.  :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 20, 2008, 08:52:22 PM

(reaching a bit)

you sit on a bar stool like you are doing it a favor?

Oh my! lol... I missed this one.  :-)

(inside joke warning)

I thought you were avoiding me. :whatever:

Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 08:58:12 PM

(reaching a bit)

you sit on a bar stool like you are doing it a favor?

Oh my! lol... I missed this one.  :-)

(inside joke warning)

I thought you were avoiding me. :whatever:



I could have sworn I posted to the "Plague" post, but I must have thought about it and never followed through.

Yes... avoidance... Schade gets no loving, NO loving!
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 20, 2008, 09:01:46 PM

(reaching a bit)

you sit on a bar stool like you are doing it a favor?

Oh my! lol... I missed this one.  :-)

(inside joke warning)

I thought you were avoiding me. :whatever:



I could have sworn I posted to the "Plague" post, but I must have thought about it and never followed through.

Yes... avoidance... Schade gets no loving, NO loving!

I am sure that happens to you constantly. :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever: :whatever:



 :-) :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: ReardenSteel on March 20, 2008, 09:23:37 PM
When Schaden performed the Dance of the Seven Veils, the five virgins in attendance exploded.  :o
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 11:14:20 PM
When Schaden performed the Dance of the Seven Veils, the five virgins in attendance exploded.  :o

I knew you were holding out on me.

Ok, thanks everyone! I think I have enough to go on for now.  :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 20, 2008, 11:24:25 PM

Quote
"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale / Her infinite variety: other women cloy / The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry / Where most she satisfies."

act ii, scene 2, line 227

Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Chris_ on March 20, 2008, 11:43:45 PM

Quote
"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale / Her infinite variety: other women cloy / The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry / Where most she satisfies."

act ii, scene 2, line 227



Very beautiful WE. Do you think it is a bit much for me or just right?  :-)
Title: Re: Friends I need your help....
Post by: Wretched Excess on March 21, 2008, 12:34:36 AM

Quote
"Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale / Her infinite variety: other women cloy / The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry / Where most she satisfies."

act ii, scene 2, line 227



Very beautiful WE. Do you think it is a bit much for me or just right?  :-)



that would depend on the context