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The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:12:30 PM

Title: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:12:30 PM
Man awakes wih crochet needle stuck into urethra (http://www.enewscourier.com/local/local_story_050213309.html)

A Limestone County Sheriff’s deputy was called late Wednesday night to Huntsville Hospital to take an unusual report from a man who told officers he’d awakened with a crochet needle stuck into his urethra.

The man, who is not being named pending investigation, said he went to sleep with an ex-girlfriend and when he awakened, the needle was completely embedded, said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely.

“He stated to our officer he didn’t know how it got there,” the sheriff said.

“He and the girlfriend had been drinking and it was there when he woke up. It was inserted all the way in.”

Doctors at the hospital X-rayed the man and then removed the object, Blakely said.

The call came in at about 11 p.m. Wednesday night.

Investigators are looking into the incident.
-----

Note:  Not Florida. 
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on February 20, 2009, 12:16:57 PM
I just broke out into a cold sweat.  Damn.

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:19:47 PM
Wow!

How ****ed up do you have to be to NOT feel that thing going in??


I'm going out on a limb here and say alcohol and/or drugs were involved.  Just a guess. 
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Chris_ on February 20, 2009, 12:23:09 PM
Well, at least he didn't fall on it while hanging kitchen curtains in the nude.   :whatever:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on February 20, 2009, 12:23:52 PM

I'm going out on a limb here and say alcohol and/or drugs were involved.  Just a guess. 

And evidently a friggin' crochet needle!!

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:38:20 PM
And evidently a friggin' crochet needle!!

KC

I hope for his sake it was a small one   :o

(http://www.wardi.dk/uploaded_images/hooks-720833.jpg)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: asdf2231 on February 20, 2009, 12:44:10 PM
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!!

nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononoNO!!!!!!!!111111111111111eleventyeleventyeleventy
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 12:45:46 PM
Was it a narrow urethra?  haha   :p  (stupid king of the hill  lol)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:48:01 PM
Was it a narrow urethra?  haha   :p  (stupid king of the hill  lol)

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v103/Staunch_Republican/Random/dangitbobbeh.jpg)



And now I know how to exact my revenge on a man, use the crochet hooks.  LOL!
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 12:49:22 PM
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v103/Staunch_Republican/Random/dangitbobbeh.jpg)



And now I know how to exact my revenge on a man, use the crochet hooks.  LOL!

lol  Mia scorned = scary!!
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:52:04 PM
lol  Mia scorned = scary!!

Just you remember, Missy.  I have a lot of crochet hooks. 
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 12:54:29 PM
Just you remember, Missy.  I have a lot of crochet hooks. 

You crochet, and you have the cats.  I have nothing to bring into our old lady relationship.  lol  ;)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 12:57:16 PM
You crochet, and you have the cats.  I have nothing to bring into our old lady relationship.  lol  ;)

I have crocheted.  Damn, I also do cross-stitch.  DAMN!  I have cats!  This isn't looking pretty

(http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/msbrackenridge/2006/05/15/crazy_cat_lady.jpg)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 12:58:05 PM
I have crocheted.  Damn, I also do cross-stitch.  DAMN!  I have cats!  This isn't looking pretty

(http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/msbrackenridge/2006/05/15/crazy_cat_lady.jpg)

There ya go ;)  lol 
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: asdf2231 on February 20, 2009, 02:07:41 PM
I have crocheted.  Damn, I also do cross-stitch.  DAMN!  I have cats!  This isn't looking pretty

(http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/msbrackenridge/2006/05/15/crazy_cat_lady.jpg)

Bite the bullet and go buy yellow stretchy pants and a Bingo bag. :-)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: bijou on February 20, 2009, 02:43:02 PM
(http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.6192102.jpg)
Quote
Description
For sale: knit and crocheted 12" x 12" (approx.) penis cushions. 

Crochet and penises are not necessarily enemies.  (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5397158) :-)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: jinxmchue on February 20, 2009, 02:45:05 PM
Quote
“He stated to our officer he didn’t know how it got there,” the sheriff said.

Uh-huh.  Sure he didn't.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on February 20, 2009, 02:50:33 PM
(http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.6192102.jpg)
Crochet and penises are not necessarily enemies.  (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5397158) :-)

AAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha

How in the hell do you find something like that?!  Better yet ... WHO would buy it?

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 02:51:10 PM
AAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha

How in the hell do you find something like that?!  Better yet ... WHO would buy it?

KC

Agreed.  Kinda creepy, like they're staring at me.  lol  ;)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 02:54:17 PM
Agreed.  Kinda creepy, like they're staring at me.  lol  ;)


Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday.   :uhsure:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: bijou on February 20, 2009, 02:54:54 PM
AAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha

How in the hell do you find something like that?!  Better yet ... WHO would buy it?

KC
Like this http://www.dogpile.com/dogpile/ws/results/Web/knitted%20penis%20etsy/1/417/TopNavigation/Relevance/iq=true/zoom=off/_iceUrlFlag=7?_IceUrl=true    :-)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 02:55:04 PM

Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday.   :uhsure:

 :lmao:  you are so wrong!
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 03:00:01 PM
:lmao:  you are so wrong!


You'll be the envy of all your friends, everyone will want one.  Bonus! "Also, I can add tassels to each corner to "class it up"."  Tassels!!!! 

(http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_430xN.6192177.jpg)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 03:01:11 PM

You'll be the envy of all your friends, everyone will want one.  Bonus! "Also, I can add tassels to each corner to "class it up"."  Tassels!!!! 

(http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_430xN.6192177.jpg)

Maybe put some googly eyes on there like in those geico commercials with the lil' money stack?  lol    :mental:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Miss Mia on February 20, 2009, 03:02:16 PM
Maybe put some googly eyes on there like in those geico commercials with the lil' money stack?  lol    :mental:


yes, Yes, YES!  googly eyes AND tassels!  Bookmarked the site.  I'll ask if she can do the pillow in puke green too.  :wink:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: jinxmchue on February 20, 2009, 03:03:44 PM
(http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.6192102.jpg)
Crochet and penises are not necessarily enemies.  (http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5397158) :-)

Hey, where did you get a pic of Fister's living room?
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 03:04:50 PM

yes, Yes, YES!  googly eyes AND tassels!  Bookmarked the site.  I'll ask if she can do the pillow in puke green too.  :wink:

lol  :)   Those are going to make such great gifts!  ;)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: jinxmchue on February 20, 2009, 03:05:20 PM

You'll be the envy of all your friends, everyone will want one.  Bonus! "Also, I can add tassels to each corner to "class it up"."  Tassels!!!! 

(http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_430xN.6192177.jpg)

Hey, I didn't know my self-modeled knitting pattern was still in use.   :naughty: :hyper:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on February 20, 2009, 03:10:07 PM
Maybe put some googly eye on there like in those geico commercials with the lil' money stack?  lol    :mental:

There fixed it for ya!

BTW ..... weren't you the one who was posting about being offended on the thread asking about how the trim was/wasn't??

 :rotf:

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 03:11:41 PM
There fixed it for ya!

BTW ..... weren't you the one who was posting about being offended on the thread asking about how the trim was/wasn't??

 :rotf:

KC

A fake cable knit penis is NOT in the same category as being asked about the status of one's pubes in a crude fashion. 
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on February 20, 2009, 03:15:54 PM
A fake cable knit penis is NOT in the same category as being asked about the status of one's pubes in a crude fashion. 

Is there, pray tell, a non crude fashion in which to inquire of someone's 'pubes'?   :uhsure:

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Sweet Dee on February 20, 2009, 03:16:50 PM
Is there, pray tell, a non crude fashion in which to inquire of someone's 'pubes'?   :uhsure:

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

KC

you = bad   :asssmack:  lol
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on February 20, 2009, 03:18:16 PM
you = bad   :asssmack:  lol

Thank you ma'am may I have another?

And yes, I am.

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Rubyblood88 on November 15, 2011, 01:16:58 PM
Agreed.  Kinda creepy, like they're staring at me.  lol  ;)

Talking about staring at you :)

http://i467.photobucket.com/albums/rr40/rubyblood88/1e687f43.jpg

Video step by step :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMkVmEp6MUQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Gina on November 15, 2011, 01:19:29 PM
So the gurlfriend did it....clearly he is a prick
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Celtic Rose on November 15, 2011, 02:21:03 PM
Zombie thread!
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Wineslob on November 15, 2011, 02:31:55 PM
Zombie thread!


It just needed a little needling.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 15, 2011, 02:34:35 PM

It just needed a little needling.

Or a little prick?
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Gina on November 15, 2011, 02:34:47 PM

It just needed a little needling.

This thread needs to be Pinned  :naughty:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Wineslob on November 16, 2011, 10:47:44 AM
This thread needs to be Pinned  :naughty:


Or poked?    O-)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: JohnnyReb on November 16, 2011, 11:38:43 AM
Hey, his girlfriend was just trying to fish in his gene pool.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Gina on November 16, 2011, 12:20:58 PM
Great thread!
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 16, 2011, 02:39:33 PM

Or poked?    O-)

Or prodded.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Texacon on November 22, 2011, 04:15:26 PM
I think the whole thing was nothing more than a yarn.

KC
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Eupher on November 22, 2011, 04:36:23 PM
I think the whole thing was nothing more than a yarn.

KC

Yeah, but it got you hooked in.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 23, 2011, 07:20:52 AM
Yeah, but it got you hooked in.

I like the way you weaved that in . . .
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Eupher on November 23, 2011, 09:15:40 AM
I like the way you weaved that in . . .

Just in time, too. You know what they say - 'A stitch in time saves nine.' Otherwise, the whole exchange would've thrown the entire thread for a loop.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 23, 2011, 10:27:49 AM
Just in time, too. You know what they say - 'A stitch in time saves nine.' Otherwise, the whole exchange would've thrown the entire thread for a loop.

And you tied it all together. :cheersmate: :tongue: :fuelfire:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: CG6468 on November 23, 2011, 10:39:14 AM
Yeah, but it got you hooked in.

It seems that you've been purled. And knitted, of course.  :-)
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Eupher on November 23, 2011, 11:41:14 AM
It seems that you've been purled. And knitted, of course.  :-)

I think I'm being needled. Keep it up and I'm gonna have to chain you till you slip up.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: CG6468 on November 23, 2011, 11:42:17 AM
I think I'm being needled. Keep it up and I'm gonna have to chain you till you slip up.

Oh, no! Knot that!
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: Eupher on November 23, 2011, 11:46:26 AM
Oh, no! Knot that!

Cast on for one!  :cheersmate:
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: BlueStateSaint on November 24, 2011, 06:19:30 AM
Cast on for one!  :cheersmate:

Time to darn this thread.
Title: Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
Post by: CG6468 on November 24, 2011, 09:31:37 AM
Time to darn this thread.

It's just become a big yarn, anyway.