Author Topic: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis  (Read 15415 times)

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Offline Miss Mia

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Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« on: February 20, 2009, 12:12:30 PM »
Man awakes wih crochet needle stuck into urethra

A Limestone County Sheriff’s deputy was called late Wednesday night to Huntsville Hospital to take an unusual report from a man who told officers he’d awakened with a crochet needle stuck into his urethra.

The man, who is not being named pending investigation, said he went to sleep with an ex-girlfriend and when he awakened, the needle was completely embedded, said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely.

“He stated to our officer he didn’t know how it got there,” the sheriff said.

“He and the girlfriend had been drinking and it was there when he woke up. It was inserted all the way in.”

Doctors at the hospital X-rayed the man and then removed the object, Blakely said.

The call came in at about 11 p.m. Wednesday night.

Investigators are looking into the incident.
-----

Note:  Not Florida. 
Stink Eye
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Offline Texacon

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2009, 12:16:57 PM »
I just broke out into a cold sweat.  Damn.

KC
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2009, 12:19:47 PM »
Wow!

How ****ed up do you have to be to NOT feel that thing going in??


I'm going out on a limb here and say alcohol and/or drugs were involved.  Just a guess. 
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Chris_

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2009, 12:23:09 PM »
Well, at least he didn't fall on it while hanging kitchen curtains in the nude.   :whatever:
If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline Texacon

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2009, 12:23:52 PM »

I'm going out on a limb here and say alcohol and/or drugs were involved.  Just a guess. 

And evidently a friggin' crochet needle!!

KC
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

*Stolen

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2009, 12:38:20 PM »
And evidently a friggin' crochet needle!!

KC

I hope for his sake it was a small one   :o

Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline asdf2231

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2009, 12:44:10 PM »
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!!

nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono
nononononoNO!!!!!!!!111111111111111eleventyeleventyeleventy




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2009, 12:45:46 PM »
Was it a narrow urethra?  haha   :p  (stupid king of the hill  lol)

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2009, 12:48:01 PM »
Was it a narrow urethra?  haha   :p  (stupid king of the hill  lol)





And now I know how to exact my revenge on a man, use the crochet hooks.  LOL!
Stink Eye
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Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2009, 12:49:22 PM »




And now I know how to exact my revenge on a man, use the crochet hooks.  LOL!

lol  Mia scorned = scary!!

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2009, 12:52:04 PM »
lol  Mia scorned = scary!!

Just you remember, Missy.  I have a lot of crochet hooks. 
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2009, 12:54:29 PM »
Just you remember, Missy.  I have a lot of crochet hooks. 

You crochet, and you have the cats.  I have nothing to bring into our old lady relationship.  lol  ;)

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2009, 12:57:16 PM »
You crochet, and you have the cats.  I have nothing to bring into our old lady relationship.  lol  ;)

I have crocheted.  Damn, I also do cross-stitch.  DAMN!  I have cats!  This isn't looking pretty

Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2009, 12:58:05 PM »
I have crocheted.  Damn, I also do cross-stitch.  DAMN!  I have cats!  This isn't looking pretty



There ya go ;)  lol 

Offline asdf2231

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2009, 02:07:41 PM »
I have crocheted.  Damn, I also do cross-stitch.  DAMN!  I have cats!  This isn't looking pretty



Bite the bullet and go buy yellow stretchy pants and a Bingo bag. :-)




Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline bijou

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #15 on: February 20, 2009, 02:43:02 PM »
Quote
Description
For sale: knit and crocheted 12" x 12" (approx.) penis cushions. 

Crochet and penises are not necessarily enemies. :-)



Offline jinxmchue

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #16 on: February 20, 2009, 02:45:05 PM »
Quote
“He stated to our officer he didn’t know how it got there,” the sheriff said.

Uh-huh.  Sure he didn't.

Offline Texacon

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #17 on: February 20, 2009, 02:50:33 PM »

Crochet and penises are not necessarily enemies. :-)

AAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha

How in the hell do you find something like that?!  Better yet ... WHO would buy it?

KC
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

*Stolen

Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2009, 02:51:10 PM »
AAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha

How in the hell do you find something like that?!  Better yet ... WHO would buy it?

KC

Agreed.  Kinda creepy, like they're staring at me.  lol  ;)

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #19 on: February 20, 2009, 02:54:17 PM »
Agreed.  Kinda creepy, like they're staring at me.  lol  ;)


Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday.   :uhsure:
Stink Eye
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Offline bijou

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #20 on: February 20, 2009, 02:54:54 PM »
AAAAAhahahahahahahahahahahaha

How in the hell do you find something like that?!  Better yet ... WHO would buy it?

KC
Like this http://www.dogpile.com/dogpile/ws/results/Web/knitted%20penis%20etsy/1/417/TopNavigation/Relevance/iq=true/zoom=off/_iceUrlFlag=7?_IceUrl=true    :-)



Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2009, 02:55:04 PM »

Now I know what I'm getting you for your birthday.   :uhsure:

 :lmao:  you are so wrong!

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #22 on: February 20, 2009, 03:00:01 PM »
:lmao:  you are so wrong!


You'll be the envy of all your friends, everyone will want one.  Bonus! "Also, I can add tassels to each corner to "class it up"."  Tassels!!!! 

Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."

Offline Sweet Dee

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2009, 03:01:11 PM »

You'll be the envy of all your friends, everyone will want one.  Bonus! "Also, I can add tassels to each corner to "class it up"."  Tassels!!!! 



Maybe put some googly eyes on there like in those geico commercials with the lil' money stack?  lol    :mental:

Offline Miss Mia

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Re: Things that don't go together: crochet & penis
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2009, 03:02:16 PM »
Maybe put some googly eyes on there like in those geico commercials with the lil' money stack?  lol    :mental:


yes, Yes, YES!  googly eyes AND tassels!  Bookmarked the site.  I'll ask if she can do the pillow in puke green too.  :wink:
Stink Eye
"Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass."