fizzgig and elleng primitives have cooking and baking Christmas disasters

[BattleHymn]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/115748938

Thu Dec 25, 2014, 11:43 PM
fizzgig (21,717 posts)

jewmas dinner was a bit ruined tonight

it was supposed to be latkes and crock pot brisket with garlic and onions. well....the power went out a few hours into the brisket and wasn't going to be on any time soon according to the power company, so we warmed up the grill, tossed everything into a pan and let it go.

unfortunately, i trusted my sister with the task. i told her it only needed to be around 250ish and when i finally went out to look, it was at 350 and had been for more than an hour. the onions turned into carbon and, obviously, no jus. it goes without saying that we couldn't do the latkes, so we wound up eating slightly dry brisket by the light of a kerosene latern. it really was a good day outside of that, but i was so excite about our dinner. we're going back tomorrow for revenge latkes even though i have no desire to leave the house.

  I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall while they were all sitting around staring at each other by the light of a stinky kerosene lantern, chewing on shoe leather brisket!

Thu Dec 25, 2014, 11:49 PM
Star Member elleng (52,048 posts)
1. SORRY but

'it really was a good day outside of that.' I've had NOTHING decent to eat today!!! 

Will send you my brisket recipe when I find it, not that you need it but just for the heck of it.

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 01:18 AM
fizzgig (21,717 posts)
2. i just reheated the rest of the baked mac and cheese i made last night

and it's the best thing i've eaten today. our food just didn't work out today. not only did dinner not work out, but breakfast didn't come out as planned. sister made (gf) baked pancakes and they tasted ok, but they didn't puff and were really dense.

i hope you got something decent to eat before bed. look forward to the recipe!

Another day, another gut bomb.  Some people should never be left alone in the kitchen, and fizzgig is one of them. 

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 01:31 AM
Star Member elleng (52,048 posts)
3. How 'funny' that you and I should have similarly unsatisfactory days,

dining-wise! And I'm still watching Julie & Julia, with NO chance to have anything decent to eat before bed, but may visit little, new French patisserie near here when I wake!

A double-header of primitive misery! 

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 01:44 AM
fizzgig (21,717 posts)
4. i am so jealous that such a thing exists near you

we used to have a great french bakery in town but it shut down about five years ago.

Fizzgig is jealous of anybody that had anything edible to eat yesterday.

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 10:45 AM
Star Member NJCher (17,464 posts)
6. certainly a disappointment

for both of you. I think you are both entitled to go out of your way to make up for it today. Maybe you will change your mind about going out, fizzgig, as the day goes on.

"Revenge latkes!" 

I read your experience, too, elleng. I also looked at the gallery section of Patisserie Manuel's page. What an artiste'!

Cher

on edit: see Beef Wellington post, in the same vein.

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 01:16 PM
Star Member cbayer (139,621 posts)
7. Oh my goodness. Two C & B christmas disasters!

So sorry. Hope your electricity is back on and you get your latkes today!

[tanstaafl]

unfortunately, i trusted my sister with the task. i told her it only needed to be around 250ish and when i finally went out to look, it was at 350 and had been for more than an hour

Here, I thought that the fizzy one was always a good candidate for dumb as a box of rocks. Now, I find out she has a sister. And the sister is dumber than a box of rocks plus a bag of hammers.

[Ptarmigan]

DUmmies. 

[BattleHymn]

Here, I thought that the fizzy one was always a good candidate for dumb as a box of rocks. Now, I find out she has a sister. And the sister is dumber than a box of rocks plus a bag of hammers.

It must run in the family, like it does in HAMber's.

[GOBUCKS]

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 10:45 AM
Star Member NJCher (17,464 posts)
Maybe you will change your mind about going out, fizzgig, as the day goes on.

Not a chance, chef.

Fizz scored a half-ounce for Christmas.

There's no money for food.

[Chris_]

Thu Dec 25, 2014, 11:43 PM
fizzgig (21,717 posts)

jewmas dinner

Classy.

I imagine living with fizzgig is like sharing an apartment with a housebroken ape.

[diesel driver]

Classy.

I imagine living with fizzgig is like sharing an apartment with a housebroken ape.

Without the "housebroken".

Since she's already a horse's ass would anyone notice the difference?

And who the hell BAKES pancakes?  DUmbest thing I've heard of outside of the idiot that f'ed up a grilled cheese sandwich. If you can't make a grilled cheese sandwich, you're too stupid to live.

[JakeStyle]

baked pancakes

WTF did they expect?

[DumbAss Tanker]

Classy.

I imagine living with fizzgig is like sharing an apartment with a housebroken ape.

I dunno, I think the ape might end up doing something endearing and funny sooner or later, which would more or less bust the analogy.

[obumazombie]

Classy.

I imagine living with fizzgig is like sharing an apartment with a housebroken ape.

As is often the case with libs, they mean to be mean, derogatory and derisive...then fail at that.
It's no secret Jesus was a jew.

[DumbAss Tanker]

As is often the case with libs, they mean to be mean, derogatory and derisive...then fail at that.
It's no secret Jesus was a jew.

I'm not positive it was that ill-intended, I think it might have been a failed attempt at being humorous over the bill of fare, which sounds like it was largely an assortment of dishes that could be drawn from typical Jewish cuisine.  I'd give the drunken loserette the benefit of the doubt on that one.

[Big Dog]

Are gutbombs kosher?

[zeitgeist]

Classy.

I imagine living with fizzgig is like sharing an apartment with a housebroken ape.

My Yiddish isn't up to speed but there was an old joke about marrying a shiksa who was a nagfa in the bedroom and a yetta in the kitchen or vice versa...  Sounds like what we might be seeing here.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Gutbombs, meh, but I can tell you that most kosher cooking makes traditional English cuisine look seductively exotic and delicious by comparison...but some of it is pretty darn good.

[BattleHymn]

Not a chance, chef.

Fizz scored a half-ounce for Christmas.

There's no money for food.

Gobucks' accuracy rate has met or exceeded that of Rush Limbaugh by predicting hash nearly a full hour before fizzgig even posted about it:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018705074

Fri Dec 26, 2014, 12:49 AM
fizzgig (21,726 posts)

i hope your day was filled with love and light

Last edited Fri Dec 26, 2014, 01:45 AM - Edit history (1)

yeah, the power went out so dinner got a bit effed up and the roads were cruddy coming home (the snow was above my ankles walking from the car to the apartment), but we had a great day.

i got what i asked for and more (**** yeah tng command uniform bath robe complete with captain's pips and comm badge), i had tasty breakfast, tasty booze and a day spent playing trivial pursuit and cards with my sister. dad, sister, husband and i sat by the light of a kerosene lamp and played cards for a few hours, warmed by the wood stove. my 17-year-old kitteh, the true love of my heart, slept at my feet all last night.

it's 22 out right now but i bundled up and enjoyed some porch time, warmed not only by coolest ****ing robe in the history of the world, but also by a local brew and the hash my buddy gifted me for the holiday (**** yeah living in colorado!). i made a beeline for it as soon as i got home and completely forgot that i was supposed to let my sister know that we got home safely, so that resulted in a phone call. i straight up told them i could not have any conversation beyond we got home safely and that garnered a good laugh.

now i'm gorging on a bacon chocolate bar and chocolate-covered dried cherries from my stocking and being together with the husband and kittehs.

joyous season, all

[Big Dog]

fizzy

tng command uniform bath robe complete with captain's pips and comm badge

So, fizzy got a bathrobe that looks like a Star Trek uniform to cover her ever-expanding chewing gum ass... and some hashish.

What a great Jewmas you had, Sarah Sarah Koala Bear!

[BattleHymn]

So, fizzy got a bathrobe that looks like a Star Trek uniform to cover her ever-expanding chewing gum ass... and some hashish.

What a great Jewmas you had, Sarah Sarah Koala Bear!

It's a pity Pooter Claus didn't stop by and give her something to hem up that sagging thing she sports.

[Karin]

but breakfast didn't come out as planned. sister made (gf) baked pancakes and they tasted ok, but they didn't puff and were really dense.

Gluten free baked pancakes.     Must be made with one of those weird "ancient grains" that the DUmmies would swoon over. 

[BattleHymn]

Gluten free baked pancakes.     Must be made with one of those weird "ancient grains" that the DUmmies would swoon over.

Fizz probably thinks the damage she is doing to her lungs will be cancelled out by the lack of gluten in her tastes-like-dirt pancakes. 

[zeitgeist]

Gluten free baked pancakes.     Must be made with one of those weird "ancient grains" that the DUmmies would swoon over.

Ah yes, a little maze, a little mace ( which of course can be a club, pepper spray, or a ground spice ) who knows what kind of dough can be made.