Obama Steve lights bag, rings doorbell ~ DU does Bristol Stomp

[GOBUCKS]

The best solution might be an instant DUmp-message to the long-absent DUmmy hippywife.

It would surely be intercepted by Wild Bill, who would be extremely interested in the situation.

A per-pound sale to Wild Bill could be a nice supplement to the old-age savings that the Big Guy never saw fit to accumulate.

We may call it fat, but Wild Bill calls it marbling.

[Big Dog]

I'm not so sure taxidermy would be the best solution for Marta.  From The Authentic Animal: Inside the Odd and Obsessive World of Taxidermy:

Of course we all know that Steve isn't a pet, but we do know that he carries around a lot of extra adipose tissue.

That's good thinking.

ConAgra has a big food research division in Omaha. I imagine they have something for freeze-drying whole bovines.

He'd look almost lifelike. Marta could take Freeze-Dried Steve to girls' basketball games for old times'sake, and prop him up in a corner.

[Big Dog]

Do you suppose his mortal remains can be jammed down through one of those abandoned missile silos out here?  They're around, but I've never paid attention to them.  Maybe their openings aren't large enough?

An old Minuteman silo would be big enough, but the state of Nebraska does not allow dumping without a permit. Marta would have to sneak him out and toss him down the pit on a moonless night... and readers of Edgar Allen Poe and HP Lovecraft know that never ends well.

[zeitgeist]

An old Minuteman silo would be big enough, but the state of Nebraska does not allow dumping without a permit. Marta would have to sneak him out and toss him down the pit on a moonless night... and readers of Edgar Allen Poe and HP Lovecraft know that never ends well.

Dissolve him in a hot tub of quick lime and pump him back from whence he came.    (What a revolting idea but wholly achievable)

New body 'liquefaction' unit unveiled in Florida funeral home
By Neil Bowdler
 
Science reporter, BBC News
 
Resomation founder Sandy Sullivan explains how the machine works

{snip}
A Glasgow-based company has installed its first commercial "alkaline hydrolysis" unit at a Florida funeral home.
The unit by Resomation Ltd is billed as a green alternative to cremation and works by dissolving the body in heated alkaline water.

Link:
http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-14114555

[obumazombie]

^A process perfected by the 5 families.

[GOBUCKS]

A Glasgow-based company has installed its first commercial "alkaline hydrolysis" unit at a Florida funeral home.
The unit by Resomation Ltd is billed as a green alternative to cremation and works by dissolving the body in heated alkaline water.

So...the family gets a barrel full of goo?

[zeitgeist]

So...the family gets a barrel full of goo?

I'm thinking a memorial lava lamp .



A tasteful memorial for a blob don't ya think?